Went on a Date Today!

[erobert]

Finally went on a date again after a long dry spell, I haven't been on a date since my very first date- which was back in October.

Anyway, found a guy on another dating site and we went out on a first date, I'm still not sure how the date went. I think it went well, it's was very low key. Just lunch and talking in a park casually. Though, I could tell he was giving me seductive look during the first part. Or at least I think he was.

We had been chatting on IM for a week before and made a good connection online. We also had a good connection offline too IMO. I just am hoping I made it clear that I liked him because I do and don't want to be tossed into the friend category.

He hasn't called yet. Should I call or text him tomorrow to follow up? I'm still new to the dating process...

 

[Sigma-taylor-E]

Dude...Txt him, if the waiting game is played then noone wins. Txt him and see what happens.

 

[hackingnomberr]

Don't text that just makes people feel super awkward about getting replies and stuff, just call!

 

[greyhorse]

Good on you fella Yes get in touch with him - don't leave it too long. All the best, G

 

[Seasoned]

Contact him. Thank him for the good time. Let him know you'd like to see him again, and then leave it alone. If it goes back and forth, fine. If not, you've got your answer. God luck!

 

[TNniceguy]

I've never dated yet, but I would call him. Being old fashioned, I think texting seems like you're trying to avoid a verbal conversation. Tell him how you feel when you call. If you enjoyed being with him, tell him and ask when you can see each other again. You might take the lead and ask him for the next date.

Good luck!

 

[dhchitown1984]

Hey erobert! Congrats on putting yourself out there!

Whenever I'm on a date, which albeit doesn't happen as often as this point may make it appear to be, I always end the date with the followup. It gets rid of the "should I wait 52 hours or 56 hours before I follow up?" game.

If I had a good time and I want to see the guy again, I say something to the tune of "I had a great time tonight. Thanks so much for hanging out with me. Is it cool for me to call you on next week to see what your weekend looks like?" I've found it works for me because you're not throwing them into a tailspin of "omg its a date" and you're not working yourself up about it either. Then, I'll usually followup in about two days, and just see what he has going on. Sometimes I feel like doing it the day after, sometimes two days after. But either way, he's anticipating the call, and I've taken the responsibility to make the move.

If I'm not interested, I still tell the guy I had a great time, but I don't initiate the follow-up. Sometimes he asks, and sometimes he doesn't. I don't necessarily like to rule someone out after Date #1. Sometimes, sleeping on it can make things clearer.... if you had a bad day, it could dampen your entire perception of the date. But, even if I'm not interested the next day, I always make it a point to communicate that the next time we talk. There's nothing worse than being into someone and have them blatantly ignore you, or even worse, say "yeah, let's grab drinks this weekend" and then when the time comes, they're nowhere to be found. It would just so happen that when you're the one being chased, it's not always easy to see it from that perspective... your perspective is "uh, no way!"

But if you haven't reached out already, get on the phone and call him!! NOW! Pause the DVR and make the call!

Good luck out there!

 

[mbamike]

Contact him. Thank him for the good time. Let him know you'd like to see him again, and then leave it alone. If it goes back and forth, fine. If not, you've got your answer. God luck!

What he said.

Send him a text or an email.

 

[erobert]

Well, unfortunately I've been tossed in the friend category. I contacted him yesterday and he told me he:

"Even though it was a date it felt more like an outing with a friend thinks he's not ready to date yet. It would be better for himself if we didn't go in that direction and just be friends."

He's not out and has never dated before but after thinking it over for a day I feel like this is a "it's not you it's me" situation. Which means- it's me than and I said or did something wrong. He was gun hoe about dating before we met and seemed to be 100% behind dating

I don't believe in ruling people out after only one date unless there's a major deal breaker that comes up. It takes a few to decide whether you want to continue dating.

For some reason though I can't seem to get the past the second date on the few dates I have been on. Maybe I'm not showing enough of my personality and am too shy or don't talk enough... I didn't give a hug or a kiss on any of my dates- I wait for the other guy to make the first move (which is probably their plan too)

I'm just being myself on dates which apparently is not enough for guys... I'm ready to start the dating process with someone, it doesn't even have to be a committed relationship, just with someone who's sort of like me. I've been alone long enough now, heck I don't even have any gay friends and I'm 25.

Sorry for the long post but I'm getting frustrated and had to get that off my shoulders, I felt so down about myself this morning.

 

[HunterM]

Sorry to hear your date didn't work out in your favor. I would still keep in touch with him as a friend if I were you. Tell him you're cool with being friends. Use this opportunity for you to practice to be in charge...to organize/plan an event/dinner/hanging out/etc with him...like hanging out with a buddy. Use this opportunity to practice being more extraverted. Let your personality shine through.

Since both of you are just buddies now, you wouldn't care too much on how you're being judged by him. Once you're accustomed to being outwardly sociable, you wouldn't feel so awkward in making the first move on future dates. There is nothing wrong for making the first move. If the other person is not receptive, then try another move or move on.

Don't be afraid of failures or rejections. Learn from the past and move on to a better future. Most people don't make the first move because they're afraid of rejections. You're not going to learn how to ride a bicycle if you don't know what it's like to fall...and get back up and try again.

Think of it this way...don't wait for others to make things happen for you. This is your life. You have to make things happen for yourself. Practice on self-initiation. Start a conversation with strangers. Plan happy hour/dinners with friends. Host a party. Be a leader in your social circle.

Here's another dating startegy to think about: what do you have to offer to your potential dates? Basically, what are you bringing to the table for this relationship? How do you show those qualities on your future dates?

There are a lot more people waiting for things to happen for them than people who make things happen for themselves and others. You see this at work/school environment as well.

Don't give up. Learn from this experience and KEEP DATING!