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We're Getting Married but Our Parents Don't Know

D

Darvin

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My fiance and I just got engaged after being together for close to 10 years. Its illegal to be gay where we are from, so a local marriage is out of the question. But on a good note, we plan to have a destination wedding in Europe end of 2019 / early 2020.

Some of our siblings know about our engagement but not our parents. Its a conservative society / homophobic parents thing. So we are sure that we would not tell them ever. Do you think this is the right choice?
 
Nope I'm 31 and I've not brought a girl home. They use to pester me about getting a girlfriend but now they rarely do.
 
Can you clarify where you’re from and/or which conservative society you’re talking about?

It sounds like you’ve already made your decision, and I completely agree you need to do what’s right for you. I will say, sometimes conservative people are more accepting than you might think... but I also agree a lot depends on the culture.
 
If you feel it's the right decision, you know your parents and culture best.

You've been with your partner for 10 years now...do your parents even know him, and do his know you? If so, what do they think your relationship with your partner is?
 
So, this might just be a semantics issue, but if it's illegal to be gay is it really safe for you to get married?

Like, if the gay people in your country were targeted by the government, for whatever reason, would you having a document that confirms your homosexuality put you and your partner in danger? It might not be recognized by your government as conferring any rights to you, but it's still a verified recognition that you are in a gay relationship.

Not trying to infringe on your happiness but I want you to be safe.
 
Live your life as best you can, as honestly as you can and as safely as you can. I’m so sorry you have to juggle these elements but you must remain out of legal jeopardy. All the best to you.
 
If it´s illegal in your country, of course you should be quiet.
Live your life and don´t put yourself in unnecessary danger.
 
My parents raised me with the idea that if I was old enough to get married, my intended and I were old enough to pay for the weddings ourselves. I think that's a great philosophy as it involves skills that are actually helpful for a marriage - being on the same page financially, budgeting, compromising and living within your means!
 
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