As a kid I liked seeing people naked, both men and women (not kids my age). But if I developed crushes it was always on girls. Sure society trains you to be heterosexual but I was genuinely into a few girls in my day, where I couldn't talk when I was around them, got real shy and all that. I never even considered boys in that way as a kid.
Fast forward to like 9th grade, my taste in porn evolved to the gay sort out of nowhere. "No way I'm gay" I thought, looking back on my childhood of nerves around certain girls and my obsession with baseball. It was like an unexplainable switch that occurred from puberty. Hence my personal belief that all of us might not be 'born' gay- born predetermined to be gay, yes, but not necessarily gay from childhood. (I figure it's a hormone thing that can occur in the womb OR during puberty)
Clinging to the fact that I never felt attracted to boys once before the age of 13 or 14 really fucked with me and I ended up in denial for entirely too long- I'm 22 and it wasn't even a year ago I finally admitted to myself I couldn't be straight even though I felt straight as a child.
](/images/smilies/bang.gif "Brick wall ](*,)")
that's me, too. i grew up in the military, and damn, us brats are nasty. i had sexual experiences with both sexes since i was five years-old. my first love was a girl when i was eleven. for eleven year-olds, we had a passionate romance. holding hands in public, kissing on the beach, humping and petting...
as an early adolescent, i was very pretty and into arty and academic things--not so much sports and cars, etc.--and was accused (if rarely) of being "a fag" and i recall having been asked more than once if i was a boy or a girl. of course, in retrospect, that was all rather silly, but it was hurtful at the time. so, i denied being attracted to men as long as possible. but like a few of you guys, i found myself really intrigued by male porn in my mid-teens and realized that i had to be gay on some level. maybe it's because my mom found a few playboys and penthouses under my mattress when i was a kid and gave me the most furious "women are not objects" speech ever.
years later, i don't really identify with the gay culture, though i mostly consider myself gay. i've had romantic relationships with both sexes and have had good ones and lousy ones on both sides. i'm into masculine men who like men and feminine women who like men. in a relationship, i look for commitment, support, fun, trust, and hot fucking sex! porn-wise, i gravitate toward the men, but on rare occasion, i stumble across a pussy that gives me a boner. realistically, i think you should just be who you are, not analyze too much, and go about your business. if people can't handle who you are, then that's on them. if you can't handle who you are, then figure it the fuck out. todo bueno?
