Happy New Year to all of yall that read these threads. (Especially the ones from me, haha)
anyway, well i went out of town for a few days with a group of my friends. now keep in mind only 1 of them know about me being gay. we stayed at another friends house with her and her bf. it was cool, met lots of their friends in those days we were there and etc. i've known most of these people i went with since like middle school and what not. in total it was 7 people that i actually knew that were there at the same house.
well im gonna skip a few details just to make this shorter...
on new years eve we went out to this big party. everything was going really good until this guy i had never even spoken to much less introduce myself to came up to me while i was filling my drink up at the keg and he was like yeah man...i can understand your situation. and i was like "wha? did i miss something.?" he was like "well a few of us just catch on to things like this..youre gay right?." i started to laugh and i was like "dude, i dont even know your name, and youre coming up to me saying this?" he was like "so you are?" and i walked off. i was having a good time and it seemed like it was more of a bully type thing...
boy should i have sticken with my instincts. as the night progressed i noticed that a few of the guys were just like...watching me. i thought it was weird. keep in mind i had been playing beer pong and fooseball. i didnt really leave the game room unless i was filling up. i was talking to the same people, didnt really bother to greet or introduce myself to anyone new walking in. anyway, well my friends bf Andy came to me and said, dude...these guys have a problem. i think you should just stick around me for a bit, i began to wonder what was really going on. so i went straight to the guy who asked me those questons earlier. he actully pulled me outside to talk:
GUY:"dude youre gay."
ME:"What the fuck man? What the hell does it matter? im here having a good time not bothering anyone..and youre up my ass about being gay?"
GUY:"well i mean, youve been looking at me and you told me to meet you in the back room for some fun."
ME: " are you serious? where are you pulling this shit from your ass? i havent even talked to you only at the keg earlier but i walked away from you!"
GUY: "youre so gay man. Youre a fucking fag.... FUCK THIS..."
....at that moment i realized this was going to be a big problem...i now know why Andy had told me to stick close to him. i shouldve just listened to him, instead of trying to solve the problem i guess....
so this guy might i add, was as trashy as could be...greasy hair that was in a ponytail, bad skin, really hobo-ish clothes and etc. just the worse of the worse...he took it upon himself to out me. at this party. i walked in from outside because i was trying to figure out what had happened, and what this guy was speaking of-
and i mean honestly i went out that night with no intention of hooking up or ya know, flirting with anyone, mainly because i was already sharing a room with someone else and i wasnt staying at my house, but my Friends house. didnt want to disrespect anyone. (that was a side note...)
..and of course ol dude was just telling these numerous groups of people all this shit. and im like great now i look like an idiot. so in the mist of all this going on, this other guy gets crazy and i guess he hit a girl on her forehead or something, not sure what happened really, but everyone got all crazy and yelling...so the attention was taken off of me for a min. but as im telling one of my friends what was going on, she was saying that we should all leave and stuff. i was like fine thats cool. well while we were gathering our things, that same crazy guy was yelling out all this shit about me so i did the next best thing i could do at the moment because he was a bit a way from me. i grabbed the closest drink and threw it at him ready to fight. eh...i know, "cave manish" but i mean, im a mellow guy and it takes lots for me to get mad...and he just really pushed all the right buttons...anyway, as soon as the drink hit him he came walkin over to me just cussin and yellin
"that fuckin asshole just threw his drink at me, fucking fag. etc etc..."
before i knew it, i had one of his friends swing and him me right on the side of my face... i was about to swing back but andy got my arm and was like lets go man.
the girl that we were staying with andys gf was so angry. she started to cuss at the guys and ended up slapping one over and over again, or so i was told, at this time i was already in the car waiting for her and her bf.
i was mad...he had just outted me to everyone...or almost everyone....
i was hurt more than anything...i didnt know what to say to anyone...or what to do for that matter. so i just went with it and kept rolling....
i told them i was gay. i couldnt help it. i am who i am.
it was pretty fucking emo. for the most part...seriously im surprised no one cut their wrists, thats how bad it was...haha. bad joke but still...
anyway, well we got home and it was all good...i was a wreck though. my face was a bit sore and i was just emotionally drained. having to do that with people i wasnt sure how they would take it...it was a lot...oh and me being fairly intoxicated didnt help im sure....
anyway, well everyone took it pretty good. no one was like like disgusted or anything like i was expecting. they were really cool about it. like...i mean the next morning we didnt speak a whole helluva lot about what had happened...but we did bring it up a little...the 8 hour car drive was interesting...it was seriously like nothing had happened. when i was sleeping i woke up and everyone thought i was sleeping and they were like ya know, it totally cool that hes gay. nothing is changing...etc etc. i felt accepted. for once i thought it was ya know...kinda okay in life...
anyway, so yeah...a group of friends now know about me...being gay. haha.
its funny to say that now..anyway...
and it went fairly well i guess.
minus the fact i was ...
bashed...for being me...
but hey i took it like a man. i havent been punched many times in my face but i have to say that was a good hit.
and for this being a start of a new year...i have to say...it went okay. haha as weird as that sounds...
I have high hopes for 2008 now. My head is held high for once. My life is going a lot better than what it was...and now this is i guess like the cherry on top.
I have people i can really call friends. True Honest Friends...not a lot of people can say that at times...
haha well that was as gay as possible..enough of me being all emo.
I just hope Everyone had a good start of the year.
(another side note...i actully remember the countdown for 08...which has been a a hard thing for me to do since i started really gettin down and dirty.) haha.
and thanks. to all of you JUB viewers...especially the ones who leave responses.
i feel that some of you all have helped make this a bit easier.
i know its a baby step. but im happy with that baby step.
and thanks for taking time out of your day to read this...i know its long like my other threads...i feel this just needed some extra details in it rather than just shooting through it.
anyway, well i went out of town for a few days with a group of my friends. now keep in mind only 1 of them know about me being gay. we stayed at another friends house with her and her bf. it was cool, met lots of their friends in those days we were there and etc. i've known most of these people i went with since like middle school and what not. in total it was 7 people that i actually knew that were there at the same house.
well im gonna skip a few details just to make this shorter...
on new years eve we went out to this big party. everything was going really good until this guy i had never even spoken to much less introduce myself to came up to me while i was filling my drink up at the keg and he was like yeah man...i can understand your situation. and i was like "wha? did i miss something.?" he was like "well a few of us just catch on to things like this..youre gay right?." i started to laugh and i was like "dude, i dont even know your name, and youre coming up to me saying this?" he was like "so you are?" and i walked off. i was having a good time and it seemed like it was more of a bully type thing...
boy should i have sticken with my instincts. as the night progressed i noticed that a few of the guys were just like...watching me. i thought it was weird. keep in mind i had been playing beer pong and fooseball. i didnt really leave the game room unless i was filling up. i was talking to the same people, didnt really bother to greet or introduce myself to anyone new walking in. anyway, well my friends bf Andy came to me and said, dude...these guys have a problem. i think you should just stick around me for a bit, i began to wonder what was really going on. so i went straight to the guy who asked me those questons earlier. he actully pulled me outside to talk:
GUY:"dude youre gay."
ME:"What the fuck man? What the hell does it matter? im here having a good time not bothering anyone..and youre up my ass about being gay?"
GUY:"well i mean, youve been looking at me and you told me to meet you in the back room for some fun."
ME: " are you serious? where are you pulling this shit from your ass? i havent even talked to you only at the keg earlier but i walked away from you!"
GUY: "youre so gay man. Youre a fucking fag.... FUCK THIS..."
....at that moment i realized this was going to be a big problem...i now know why Andy had told me to stick close to him. i shouldve just listened to him, instead of trying to solve the problem i guess....
so this guy might i add, was as trashy as could be...greasy hair that was in a ponytail, bad skin, really hobo-ish clothes and etc. just the worse of the worse...he took it upon himself to out me. at this party. i walked in from outside because i was trying to figure out what had happened, and what this guy was speaking of-
and i mean honestly i went out that night with no intention of hooking up or ya know, flirting with anyone, mainly because i was already sharing a room with someone else and i wasnt staying at my house, but my Friends house. didnt want to disrespect anyone. (that was a side note...)
..and of course ol dude was just telling these numerous groups of people all this shit. and im like great now i look like an idiot. so in the mist of all this going on, this other guy gets crazy and i guess he hit a girl on her forehead or something, not sure what happened really, but everyone got all crazy and yelling...so the attention was taken off of me for a min. but as im telling one of my friends what was going on, she was saying that we should all leave and stuff. i was like fine thats cool. well while we were gathering our things, that same crazy guy was yelling out all this shit about me so i did the next best thing i could do at the moment because he was a bit a way from me. i grabbed the closest drink and threw it at him ready to fight. eh...i know, "cave manish" but i mean, im a mellow guy and it takes lots for me to get mad...and he just really pushed all the right buttons...anyway, as soon as the drink hit him he came walkin over to me just cussin and yellin
"that fuckin asshole just threw his drink at me, fucking fag. etc etc..."
before i knew it, i had one of his friends swing and him me right on the side of my face... i was about to swing back but andy got my arm and was like lets go man.
the girl that we were staying with andys gf was so angry. she started to cuss at the guys and ended up slapping one over and over again, or so i was told, at this time i was already in the car waiting for her and her bf.
i was mad...he had just outted me to everyone...or almost everyone....
i was hurt more than anything...i didnt know what to say to anyone...or what to do for that matter. so i just went with it and kept rolling....
i told them i was gay. i couldnt help it. i am who i am.
it was pretty fucking emo. for the most part...seriously im surprised no one cut their wrists, thats how bad it was...haha. bad joke but still...
anyway, well we got home and it was all good...i was a wreck though. my face was a bit sore and i was just emotionally drained. having to do that with people i wasnt sure how they would take it...it was a lot...oh and me being fairly intoxicated didnt help im sure....
anyway, well everyone took it pretty good. no one was like like disgusted or anything like i was expecting. they were really cool about it. like...i mean the next morning we didnt speak a whole helluva lot about what had happened...but we did bring it up a little...the 8 hour car drive was interesting...it was seriously like nothing had happened. when i was sleeping i woke up and everyone thought i was sleeping and they were like ya know, it totally cool that hes gay. nothing is changing...etc etc. i felt accepted. for once i thought it was ya know...kinda okay in life...
anyway, so yeah...a group of friends now know about me...being gay. haha.
its funny to say that now..anyway...
and it went fairly well i guess.
minus the fact i was ...
bashed...for being me...
but hey i took it like a man. i havent been punched many times in my face but i have to say that was a good hit.
and for this being a start of a new year...i have to say...it went okay. haha as weird as that sounds...
I have high hopes for 2008 now. My head is held high for once. My life is going a lot better than what it was...and now this is i guess like the cherry on top.
I have people i can really call friends. True Honest Friends...not a lot of people can say that at times...
haha well that was as gay as possible..enough of me being all emo.
I just hope Everyone had a good start of the year.
(another side note...i actully remember the countdown for 08...which has been a a hard thing for me to do since i started really gettin down and dirty.) haha.
and thanks. to all of you JUB viewers...especially the ones who leave responses.
i feel that some of you all have helped make this a bit easier.
i know its a baby step. but im happy with that baby step.
and thanks for taking time out of your day to read this...i know its long like my other threads...i feel this just needed some extra details in it rather than just shooting through it.
