What am I?

[backpacker]

You may be bi or gay. Don't worry about labels. You are at a point in your life where trying different things is good. If you truly believe that you are attracted to women, you should try dating some at some point in the future. Don't cheat on your current boyfriend; wait until you are free of commitments.

It's not unusual for gay guys to have had thoughts of women when they were your age. Society tells us our whole lives that we are going to grow up and marry a woman. That's a very strong influence as is the desire to be "normal". It's natural that you could develop some attraction to women. I also believe that some guys are totally straight, some totally gay, but many fall in between. What I mean is that people could be 90% gay, 10% straight, 80/20, 70/30 or vice versa. You are young and there is no need to worry about labels.

 

[j0rdan]

YOU? You are a Cod Fish!

LoL, j/k

As with backpacker's advice on not assigning a label to one's self - I found that the easiest way to think of things until the day when I actually figured it out.

 

[jetsonboy]

Well from your paragraph it seems to me that you need to avail yourself of the opportunity to have a sexual experience with a woman in order to determine whether you prefer it to sex with guys. I think there are two important considerations you should take though: 1. don't hurt anybody's feelings in the process, whether they are male or female. 2. Don't try to label yourself; you are who you are, you are very young and still have lots to learn about life, and you should not succumb to societal pressure to define yourself sexually. It's your life and yours to enjoy to the fullest, and it really should not matter to anyone except your significant other what your sexual preferences are. I hope this helps, and best wishes!

 

[Maccabee]

I am exactly in the same position. I have only had sexual experiences with boys, not with girls. But I do am attracted to them. If you have to label yourself, just say you are bi.
I wonder, why is it that you did not have any experiences with girls yet? And were you actively searching for boys on the internet?

 

[lyconthrope]

society would label be a bi-sexual female.

I would "label" me lyconthrope.....cos thats my name....sort of hehe

labels are for food, not people.

let other people call you whatever they want (long as its not mean)

most (straight) people Need a label, they need you to be something or they just dont understand the world, and both the gay and straight communities for the most part just dont understand bi-sexuality or firmly believe it doesnt exist.

do you feel you need a label? do you feel incomplete as a person?

"what" you are and who you are is about you and how you feel, not a name that society attachs to you.

if they say "oh your gay" just nod and agree and ignore them, when you hook up with a girl they will either tell you your straight or your gay and lieing to yourself but.....whatever! inside you KNOW who you are.

I am bi because I like people, not genders, and if it makes it easier for my pain-in-the-ass-"omg my daughter is a lesbian"-mother to think its a "phase" and 'lable' me curious, then fine, whatever, i am 24 not 14.

your an adult, you dont need permission or an invisible "sexuality ID card" to be yourself

 

[954dude]

I've been in your shoes before. Being mostly intimate with men, I did find it hard to approach girls. But if you're attracted to someone, it shouldn't matter the gender. Don't let those outside voices make you limit yourself and be pushed into a box.

 

[DonDon]

When I was trying to figure out my sexuality a good friend said something really smart. It was something along the lines of... you can call yourself whatever you want but you know deep down who you dream about at night.

And that was really the kicker. I had found both men and women attractive, I had affection for both and even had crushes on both, but it wasn't until I really took a good long look at who it was that got me off. When I'd masturbate, fantasize, when I'd get hard during a movie or TV show. All those things. They're separate than the things you do when you are in charge of yourself. Your body and soul tell you who you are attracted to, most often when you're not paying attention. When you're masturbating, you're not thinking about who you are supposed to be thinking about, you're thinking about whatever it takes to get you there. That's usually where the truth lies.

 

[lyconthrope]

 

[SashaLex]

Heck, I'm turning 23 in a few more days and I myself have no idea what I am! Don't fret it. You don't have to put a label on yourself. I feel attracted to men, but I've had girlfriends before and at one point or another found myself... almost admitting to myself that I was in love with her.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, sometimes it really doesn't matter if it's a guy or a girl (or both or whatever), love just comes in different packages and it's all good!

 

[LoveIsNow]

I would say don't go and have sex with a girl just for the sake of having sex with a girl. If you find a girl you like and it feels right, go ahead. If it happens, it happens. If it doesn't it doesn't. Don't make a big deal out of it.

 

[DonDon]

I would say don't go and have sex with a girl just for the sake of having sex with a girl. If you find a girl you like and it feels right, go ahead. If it happens, it happens. If it doesn't it doesn't. Don't make a big deal out of it.

And if you do, make it clear to her that it's just for fun and nothing serious. There's nothing worse than stringing someone along while you try to figure yourself out. So many people do that because this is such a big thing for us to go through that you can easily forget you are really hurting someone else. It's like driving a tank for the first time and being so confused with all the buttons and controls that you don't realize you're running over someone's yard, flowerbed and pets.

 

[lyconthrope]

then don't if it makes you uncomfortable.

don't focus so much on "what" you are, just go with who you are and see where you end up

whether it be male or female, just don't rule out the possibility of either