What are some red flags that you noticed early in a relationship that you ignored that you wish you shouldn't have?

[Reischfleger]

Victim mentality: everything bad is everyone else’s fault.

 

[cabinfever]

^^^^YES - victim mentality and it all being someone else's fault UGH

For me it is jealousy. I can't deal with it. It is soul crushing for me to put up with it.

 

[backagain]

I was always pragmatic. Red Flags......run. I was not someone that was going to deal with someone else bullshit.

 

[LeicsDom]

I was always pragmatic. Red Flags......run. I was not someone that was going to deal with someone else bullshit.

Very early on in my life I was badly beaten up by a boyfriend. Since then I have refused to countenance anyone raising a hand to me. I have kicked guys to the kerb for the slightest infringement because I know that will only be the tip of the iceberg and I am not willing to take the chance that it will escalate

 

[ChristianGianni]

^^^ Sorry to hear that

Violence of any kind, I'd rather smash my fist into a wall before I ever struck someone I professed to love, and if he ever raised a hand in anger to me he'd get an ass-kicking then thrown out the door, zero tolerance for that crap.

 

[eddielee]

Drunkenness or intoxication.

 

[ChristianGianni]

When he stops reading and replying to texts when you are in the room and he goes to another room to do so

 

[PrinceCory]

Victim mentality: everything bad is everyone else’s fault.

Amen! While not a romantic relationship, I had a best friend that had this problem. It got worse over 10 to 15 years until I finally decided he was too toxic. I honestly believe it was his 20 plus years of smoking weed that warped his mind and he started having panic attacks and taking meds for anxiety. Years of the meds seem to make him worse. When he finally got off the meds, I saw a great improvement. But I think his brain was permanently damaged.

 

[LeicsDom]

Amen! While not a romantic relationship, I had a best friend that had this problem. It got worse over 10 to 15 years until I finally decided he was too toxic. I honestly believe it was his 20 plus years of smoking weed that warped his mind and he started having panic attacks and taking meds for anxiety. Years of the meds seem to make him worse. When he finally got off the meds, I saw a great improvement. But I think his brain was permanently damaged.

I have a long term friend (ex-boyf) who suffers with bipolar. When he first got diagnosed and was released from hospital he self medicated with weed. Of course it made his paranoia worse but wouldn't be told. Eventually he realised it wasn't good for him and did give it up. He is so much better today