What can I do?

[ashonfire]

23 is very young, he's probably still trying to work out who he is and what he wants to do. Like me.

Life's not a race.

 

[lyconthrope]

I am sorry to have to say that there is only so much you can do, my brother was the same until my mum finally screamed "enough!" and gave him 6 months to get a job and get out of her house (I know this seems extreme but he was 27 at the time)

just be there when he needs you but dont let him use you, only do what is necessary to stop him from living on the streets, its upto him to get his act together.

he is still young and a lot can change in a short space of time he may yet surpise you!

 

[G-Lexington]

Most people like this find that they can continue "living" like this because people allow them to. They won't take the necessary steps towards independent living until forced to do so. Your parents leaving will be just the thing he probably needs. So when he asks if he can move in with you, just for awhile, just until he gets on his feet...no.

Lex

 

[Raybee]

LilTimmy
Why do you think he's turned out this way? Is there any chance he might be depressed, or have some kind of learning difficulty that stops him from being able to move forward right now? We guys aren't very good at coming forward about these things, especially to family.
What does he say about it?

 

[gmoney]

I don't know the situation or your brother's personality, but sometimes tough love is the best approach. It might be unpleasant, but in the long run he'll respect and love you more.

 

[Riverrick]

LilTimmy
Why do you think he's turned out this way? Is there any chance he might be depressed, or have some kind of learning difficulty that stops him from being able to move forward right now? We guys aren't very good at coming forward about these things, especially to family.
What does he say about it?

Yea, that was my first thought too. I wonder what's going on?

Can you tell us any more about him? Did he ever have a job? Does he have drug or alcohol problems that might be getting in the way?

 

[interesting]

Maybe he's gay too and is keeping things quiet??? I don't know, just a shot in the dark.

 

[interesting]

wow, anger issues there buddy

 

[interesting]

Nope not at all, some people are just not worth saving, trust me

 

[dfwjacker]

Your brother may be suffering some serious depression that has got him in this rut. Don't give up on him. He probably just needs some help and doesn't know how to get it.

You need to take stuff like this seriously, when people feel like they have nothing to live for is when they do reckless things and end up taking their own lives.

What you should do is talk to you parents about your concern for your brother. Maybe your family can talk to him all together about helping him get out of the rut that he is in. You may even want to encourage him to see a psychiatrist if you and your parents are having trouble helping him figure out how to move forward.

 

[looseliam]

I am not really qualified to venture a guess as to what ails your brother.

I will say, however, there is nothing that I wouldn't have done for my brother.

 

[Eternaldarkness]

I think some thing had caused his depression and he is still figuring out a way to deal with it. Encourage him to move on further, but do no force him. Sometime you are the only person that can deal with your own depression. He just needs a longer TIMEOFF to stop thinking too much.

When a person reaches his dead end, he will sort things out to find a way through. Sometimes the impossible will be possible, when there are no other choice. There is still 2 years until your parents move here. He'll definately figured out something by then. He's old enough to know better.

Trust me, he is probably more concerned about homeless than anybody else.
As the relationship with his father, do you think part of his depression had to be dealt with too much pressuring?

What do your parents expect of him? Is there any high expectations?

There is a possible chance it might be about his sexual orientation. confuse perhaps?

There is only one way to find out all of these answers. You just have to talk to him. You must be open up more to him, eventually he'll open up to you.

 

[cocktales]

LT:

I also know someone like that; but alas, I/we should NEVER give up on them for they are family and I care!

It simply makes me crazy, for the person I know is extremely intelligent, NOT the book learned intelligence; but LIFE intelligent. He is VERY good looking; but doesn't take care of himself, he's always broke, he's been bankrupt 2 times and still NOT learned his lesson...

I could go on and on about him; but he will NEVER change the way he is, for that is who he is...

We all worry about him; but some-how, some-way, he will some-how pull by, by the skin of his teeth and some-how always make it...

I could NOT live like that, from pay-check to pay-check or worse, hocking everything to get money to make ends meet because he's blown ALL his money on other stuff, etc....

Sigh,

Still, I call him periodically to see how he's doing (when his cell phone/telephone is NOT dis-connected because lack of payment) and see if there's anything I can do for him.....

He usually just says everything's fine; but I still send him money to help him get by......he's too proud to ask, but I just can't let him go down the drain with some help!
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