What Do Guys Look For in a Partner?

[MattyMoonTonight]

I know this is a loaded question with an easy answer: "That depends on the guy, dumbass." But I'm very new to trying to get out into the world and be a part of the dating world, or barring that, the sex part of it, and I don't have any support system to help give me advice. I have no experience and there aren't many opportunities in my rural area, but I want to try, I just don't know the ins and outs of interacting. I want to know what a majority of guys are attracted to, what aspect about myself I can change or emphasize to make myself more presentable as a partner, somebody that someone would be happy to be with. I've been losing weight, finally getting a handle on my chronic depression, and going to the gym, and I have a few hobbies that I think some people might like. But I still don't feel like I'm doing anything.

I don't believe "just be yourself and the rest will follow" is my answer; yes, we all want to believe in that more and try to espouse it when asked, and I know that was the ideal tip decades ago, but not in this day and age. I'm also worried about the possible reality that nobody really wants to be together; yes, we complain that we can't find partners and many don't even want them, and we've just become used to dilemma that trying to change it is pointless.

 

[snakeeater1]

What I look for in a partner is just a guy who REALLY wants th have his cock sucked! Better yet if he doesn’t want to reciprocate. I’m not interested in receiving a BJ…

 

[KaraBulut]

I know this is a loaded question with an easy answer: "That depends on the guy, dumbass."

The answer is going to depend on your definition of "partner".

There are a lot of guys who are looking for sex... or more specifically, looking for a sex partner. That might lead to something specific that they are interested in- usually a superficial physical trait.

If you mean someone to date or be in a relationship with, the most important thing is compatibility- similar interests, similar values, an common interest in pursuing something beyond a casual relationship. Outside of those general things, it really a broad spectrum of traits that make people compatible.

While most of us are on our best behavior when we meet someone that we're interested in for the first time, eventually the reality of who everyone is becomes apparent. This means that the sooner you can be yourself, the better.

 

[RisingGay]

I like a guy who not only enjoys oral and anal sex with another guy, but really likes men and their whole bodies and person. In other words, I'm not interested in a bisexual guy who only likes cock and is not turned on with the rest of the man he's getting naked with. For oral sex it's important that we equally reciprocate, and for anal sex he needs to be a bottom at least who enjoys getting his ass rimmed and fucked bareback, because I really really love to do that. So he needs to be on PrEP, and disease free with quarterly STI testing. But if he's versatile, that's a bonus if we have an ongoing sexual relationship because I would love to lose my bottom virginity with the right guy. If we like each other then I definitely want an ongoing sexual relationship, whether it's monogamous or not, and even friendship outside of the bedroom. But he absolutely needs to be single (not even in an open relationship with another man or woman). If we develop mutual romantic feelings for each other, then I'm certainly open to that as well. Generally I like my men to have average to above average sized cut cocks, and slim to a few extra pound bodies. But most of all he needs to be very passionate in bed, loving lots of touching, body contact, passionate kissing, really making love together.

But all of this is just my own personal preferences. Everyone is different. I definitely wish you all the very best of luck in finding sexual partners that you can enjoy.

 

[MattyMoonTonight]

The answer is going to depend on your definition of "partner".

There are a lot of guys who are looking for sex... or more specifically, looking for a sex partner. That might lead to something specific that they are interested in- usually a superficial physical trait.

If you mean someone to date or be in a relationship with, the most important thing is compatibility- similar interests, similar values, an common interest in pursuing something beyond a casual relationship. Outside of those general things, it really a broad spectrum of traits that make people compatible.

While most of us are on our best behavior when we meet someone that we're interested in for the first time, eventually the reality of who everyone is becomes apparent. This means that the sooner you can be yourself, the better.

Yes, I shouldn't have been ambiguous about the context. I thought if I was, I could get something like a Venn-Diagram answer with parallel responses. I was intentionally referring to a life partner, particularly long-term, but I'm just now trying to get out there into the world and get into the sexual aspect of it all. I still feel like I'm too old, and I know there are some parts of the gay community that would say 30-ish is well too old, but I want to try, I just don't know where. I'm worried that my interests are too niche or too boring to be of interest to someone else - that might just be self-pity talking, but they haven't done anything for me yet.

I like a guy who not only enjoys oral and anal sex with another guy, but really likes men and their whole bodies and person. In other words, I'm not interested in a bisexual guy who only likes cock and is not turned on with the rest of the man he's getting naked with. For oral sex it's important that we equally reciprocate, and for anal sex he needs to be a bottom at least who enjoys getting his ass rimmed and fucked bareback, because I really really love to do that. So he needs to be on PrEP, and disease free with quarterly STI testing. But if he's versatile, that's a bonus if we have an ongoing sexual relationship because I would love to lose my bottom virginity with the right guy. If we like each other then I definitely want an ongoing sexual relationship, whether it's monogamous or not, and even friendship outside of the bedroom. But he absolutely needs to be single (not even in an open relationship with another man or woman). If we develop mutual romantic feelings for each other, then I'm certainly open to that as well. Generally I like my men to have average to above average sized cut cocks, and slim to a few extra pound bodies. But most of all he needs to be very passionate in bed, loving lots of touching, body contact, passionate kissing, really making love together.

But all of this is just my own personal preferences. Everyone is different. I definitely wish you all the very best of luck in finding sexual partners that you can enjoy.

Those are good tips, and thank you for the sentiment. I know I'm very much willing to offer what I can take - of course, I'm saying that without ever having been in those situations yet. I know it's important to start off with a friendship, but those are rarer to find than sexual encounters, I'm learning. I don't know, I don't think I'd be enough to satisfy someone, sexually or emotionally.

 

[firsttimeagain]

I might be looking for too much or too perfect. But, I am finally looking. So far I’ve only gotten together with one guy in public to meet and talk. He was not in to me as I am inexperienced and he has been in many relationships over the years. I would have gotten together again but it just wasn’t right. So, I’m looking for more than sex. Of course I want the sex as that is all I’ve ever wanted. I want more now than I ever thought was possible. What used to be an oral and masturbation fantasy has become much more than that. It is much more than that. After accepting that I am truly gay everything sexually is what I want. To be fully versatile with no boundaries as long as it is loving and respectful with the right guy. Someone that loves the male body as much as I do and really wants a deep emotional connection too. What ever we agree on is OK. I could just kiss passionately and caress and play for hours. Or, sucking each others cock and eating cum. But, some good fucking and fully pleasing each other on every way is a must too. I want to cum kiss sharing our juices as much as possible. But, I want to be romantic and share meals together and get to know someone deeply. I never thought that I would want all those things and I never thought I could share on that level. Could I fall in love with a man? I never considered it until now. After finally opening up and coming out to myself it has changed everything.

Running from it for years though I always knew there was something deeper inside me that wasn’t how straight guys felt or thought. I kinda fought and wrestled with it because I was worried about what others would think. Once I released that pressure from my mind it was like a huge weight was lifted. I’m not worried about what others might think anymore. That’s when I realized I was truly gay and it’s the best feeling I’ve ever had. I may not tell the world, but they will know. And I’m super excited to cross that bridge.

I know that is more than you want to know, but I hope it’s helpful in some way. I want a man to give me his all sexually and emotionally. I hope that is not asking too much, but it’s what I want. I am willing to build that relationship and I willing to make mistakes along the way too. I may not find it all for awhile. But, I want to share all the versatile sex I can while I search for it. Safe and respectful is key. The relationship will take time…

 

[MattyMoonTonight]

I might be looking for too much or too perfect. But, I am finally looking. So far I’ve only gotten together with one guy in public to meet and talk. He was not in to me as I am inexperienced and he has been in many relationships over the years. I would have gotten together again but it just wasn’t right. So, I’m looking for more than sex. Of course I want the sex as that is all I’ve ever wanted. I want more now than I ever thought was possible. What used to be an oral and masturbation fantasy has become much more than that. It is much more than that. After accepting that I am truly gay everything sexually is what I want. To be fully versatile with no boundaries as long as it is loving and respectful with the right guy. Someone that loves the male body as much as I do and really wants a deep emotional connection too. What ever we agree on is OK. I could just kiss passionately and caress and play for hours. Or, sucking each others cock and eating cum. But, some good fucking and fully pleasing each other on every way is a must too. I want to cum kiss sharing our juices as much as possible. But, I want to be romantic and share meals together and get to know someone deeply. I never thought that I would want all those things and I never thought I could share on that level. Could I fall in love with a man? I never considered it until now. After finally opening up and coming out to myself it has changed everything.

Running from it for years though I always knew there was something deeper inside me that wasn’t how straight guys felt or thought. I kinda fought and wrestled with it because I was worried about what others would think. Once I released that pressure from my mind it was like a huge weight was lifted. I’m not worried about what others might think anymore. That’s when I realized I was truly gay and it’s the best feeling I’ve ever had. I may not tell the world, but they will know. And I’m super excited to cross that bridge.

I know that is more than you want to know, but I hope it’s helpful in some way. I want a man to give me his all sexually and emotionally. I hope that is not asking too much, but it’s what I want. I am willing to build that relationship and I willing to make mistakes along the way too. I may not find it all for awhile. But, I want to share all the versatile sex I can while I search for it. Safe and respectful is key. The relationship will take time…

Thank you, that was helpful. I do hope you find somebody, and have fun along the way.

That's the switch I never learned to turn off, worrying about what the rest of the world thought of me, my actions, what I would be remembered for. It feels like too big of a weight for me to release, but I know I have to in order to move forward.