What Do I Do Now?

[medic1]

^^^^^^^^
Yet again Lucky comes up with the goods , remember you have to walk before
you can run . I to am really happy that you both want to see each other again
The only piece of advice i would give is dont come across as really needy and
desperate , it sounds as if it went off really well for you both and i know that
you will find it hard but try and keep in mind this will only be your 2nd date .
I hope it goes well for you both , best of luck .

 

[TX-Beau]

What do you do? You stop thinking you want to be in a relationship with a guy based on Grindr and a movie.

Look at what you're doing, you've already dropped all this expectation on a guy you don't know. That's not healthy.

 

[HunterM]

"What do I do now?" You should go see a counselor/therapist. You will learn how to deal with issues in your life. They can help you break your cycle of bad luck. From your previous posts, you're not taking great advice being offered here.

 

[medic1]

Not wanting to seem clingy and then txting the guy at 7.30am the next day
no wonder the guy probably saw red flags .
It is pretty obvious that you have had some sort of traumatic episodes with
guys in your past from what you have posted .
Then you mention surviving your suicide attempt , i have only been home from
my workplace for about an hour and thought that i would log on and send a few pm,s to buddies then i read your last post .
You survived your suicide attempt i had to certify a young girl at 3.47am WHO DID
NOT . Life is a very precious gift please try and get some help the other guys are
right you are in a position to seek help so please give it a try , you do have choices so please use them you dont mention how old you are ? What about
friends if you dont want to seek therapuatic help ?
My hope is that you give it a try.

 

[ZmercTheDuke]

Maybe I read that wrong. But did you honestly try to kill your self, because he didnt text you in one day. You obviously have some type of repressed trauma or something, if thats how you react to that. See a therapist is your best bet.

 

[manymoney22]

Ok I've done the exact same thing as you have... uhmm relationship'wize. Of course it hurts when you dont get what you want, but no need to take it to a depression, thats my first advice, my second would echo the others - go see a therapist.

What you need to consider abot this date you went on:

First of, i would recommend that you to think about the future sitting on the first date. Dont go as far as fantasying about buying a house with him, but perhaps think: "would i mind introducing this guy to some of my friends?" - i've learned that this reasoning can help you sort a lot of nice guys, but un'date'able from the ones you'll actually want to date.

But the others are right. Never seem to klingy and never seem arrogant! I know this, and i'm only 18.

I datet i guy before i met my current boyfriend, who i really liked, and i did the klingy stuff! texted and texted and scared him off.

Im from denmark, and dont know this Grindr..?

but we have a site called boyfriend.Damien Kyle, where you have "What-do-i-seek" preferences, and you have to take these seriously! Perhaps the guy you datet was only interested in that... a date. Maybe he was hoping for a happy ending, and when he didn't getit, he did'nt want to bother... My point being, you have to be very lucky finding the perfect match online, not only do you have to like each other, you also have to be in the same stage of your life, both of you have to want to invest in a relationship...

And then you have to work to be in a relationship, but thats an intire different talk

As to what youll have to do now...

wait for him to text back, simple as that. i got an advice wenn i first came out... You cant force people to like you (this being in connection to people suddenly had to relate to me being gay...) but its true, if he really liked you, then he'll text you back, if he didn't he wont, and you can consider his motives for dating you in the first place.

can i ask how old you are..?

 

[dhchitown1984]

DUDE! The speed limit is 55 on this street, and you're going 300.

First rule of dating: Disappointment is a part of dating. It's going to happen... you're going to like someone more than they like you, and you'll be disappointed. Other times, someone will like you more than you like them, and you'll be the one to disappoint them. If you're not willing to deal with that disappointment, then you're not in a position to be dating.

I understand the "head over heels OMG this guy is AMAZING" reaction to have after a first date. It's called being IN LIKE. You totally dig a guy - awesome. The reality is, neither of you have even digested the dinner you had together yet. You don't know the guy. You spent a few hours together. After a first date, if a guy was like "I like you" it would be a turn off. "I had a great time" or "Let's meet up again some time" is totally cool!

It's easy to turn around and argue "but he kissed me, hello?!" as some reason to say that my last point is invalid in your very unique situation, but the truth is, it's not all that unique. The biggest way to learn what the "over clingy this guy needs to relax" lesson is, is to be on the other side of it. As soon as you meet the guy thats more into you guys than you are him, you'll see how big of a turn off the approach is.

I seriously recommend you getting a counselor. To deal with a lot of issues. It doesn't mean you're crazy, but you need an outlet where you can have very valid and real conversations with someone who can work with you through your problems, but can also help keep you grounded as you start dating, you can talk about approaches, ways you initiate these relationships. It will be helpful. When I first came out, I didn't think I could talk to my parents about dating guys, my friends were mostly straight, and I didn't want to turn my few gay friends into my therapists and have them all think I had issues.... so I reached out and talked to someone. It can be very beneficial.

We're all here to help you and steer you along the best track based on our own experiences, but a real human conversation will help you as well.

Keep us posted. Wishing you all the best.

 

[Seasoned]

Please take the advice of seeking a therapist to discuss your issues. My guess is that you spend a lot of time alone, have a rich fantasy life and stockpile everyone of your hurts into a ball of crap that's weighing you down. The universe doesn't single out people to pick on. So, please, besides seeking therapy, find ways to quiet your mind. Join a group or try to be helpful to someone.

No one has ever been able to create a life path by simply willing it or expecting it. It takes groundwork. No one will ever "belong" to you as you will not "belong" to anyone else. Partnership is a freely entered arrangement, which is cultivated, nurished and maintained by communication, space and joint activities that are subject to change over time. One partner doesn't make the other "whole." Two "whole" people actually create a third entity, which leaves both persons intact, no matter what happens to the relationship.

I wish you the best as you sort out some pretty commonly held notions that are simply not healthy in the long or short term.

Any thoughts, planning, or attempts of suicide require immediate attention. Some thought process has gone awry and you need help to reframe and rethink. Please seek that help.