The Original Gay Porn Community - Free Gay Movies and Photos, Gay Porn Site Reviews and Adult Gay Forums

  • Welcome To Just Us Boys - The World's Largest Gay Message Board Community

    In order to comply with recent US Supreme Court rulings regarding adult content, we will be making changes in the future to require that you log into your account to view adult content on the site.
    If you do not have an account, please register.
    REGISTER HERE - 100% FREE / We Will Never Sell Your Info

    PLEASE READ: To register, turn off your VPN (iPhone users- disable iCloud); you can re-enable the VPN after registration. You must maintain an active email address on your account: disposable email addresses cannot be used to register.

WHAT Do I Say?!!

F

funsicles

Sex God
Joined
Mar 23, 2017
Posts
843
Reaction score
87
Points
18
The day that I have dreaded has finally arrived! My 7 y.o. son finally asked about his mom, and why she doesn't love him. There were, of course, more questions, and I fielded them as best as I could! I certainly couldn't tell him that giving birth to him turned her (or me) gay!! My Nate has other kids his age growing up under the umbrella of divorce, and both parents are always involved. My stupid-ass ex gave birth and walked away from both of us; she didn't even bother to come get her clothes and other personal effects. It was hard, but I consider it to be a blessing, as I got to take time off of work to raise my son one-on-one, and now I am having to deal with a brilliant genius savant!

Every answer I tried to give a kid was immediately brushed aside with "Quit being vague and just answer my question, dad!" I eventually had to say, "I'm sorry, my son, but she left us both. She wasn't ready for a family and had some personal problems that she had to deal with that doesn't concern us." He hugged me, (made me cry) and said, "It's okay that she doesn't love us; we have enough love for each other to make it through this." WOW!!! Out of the mouth of babes!!!

Knowing him, there are going to be more questions, asking for more specifics sooner than later! I am not vindictive, and I am certainly not looking for a reconciliation, but it would be nice to have my son's mother in his life. I haven't heard a word from her, and I can't even find her on Facebook. Her mother and sister's cell phones have been disconnected. I took a personal day off of work 3 years ago to go and talk with "grandma" on her side, but her trailer is rented out to an older couple now with no forwarding address.

How do you explain to any kid that mom doesn't want you?!! Oh, it just breaks my heart all over the place!!!
 
You gave him a stellar explanation as to why she left which he seems to have accepted.
I think the best you can do going forward is assure and reassure him you aren't going anywhere........that you will be his rock.......always.
 
All you can do is tell him the truth and I'd he accepts it ok if he has more questions try to be up front with him your his dad and you have eacother
 
funsicles said:
...How do you explain to any kid that mom doesn't want you?!! Oh, it just breaks my heart all over the place!!!
Click to expand...

It is best to be truthful, but don't speak on behalf of anyone else. Someday he may have the option of confronting his mother. Leave space for that conversation and don't say anything negative toward his mother.

It is also perfectly fine to say, "I don't have all the answers. Sometimes adults have problems and they need to work through their problems. It's not that she doesn't want you or doesn't love you. It's more that she wasn't ready and she needed time to get help for her problems."
 
Thank you for the words of encouragement. I have born witness to too many divorces with the parents using their children as pawns. I'll be the first to admit that I have unresolved negative feelings towards my ex, but I would never impose, much less share them with my son. I do NOT want him to hate under any circumstances, so I have to examplify such traits! I have to lead by example, not just stern words! I have never spoken ill of her in front of him (or even barely behind his back).

She's made her choice, signed away all rights and/or claims, and she just disappeared. I'm sure that I could hire a private investigator to find her, but I have absolutely no interest in doing so. My facebook remains the same, and I do have a land line that is in the book. Lol ... who remembers phone books? My son has taken to my last two live-in boyfriends, but those relationships fell through, so now I am hesitant for even a third, but I am too young to be celibate! Living room, kitchen, or even my bedroom, he always finds a reason to come and sit on my lap or lay beside me with questions a-plenty!!! Sometimes, I have to remind myself that these moments will not last forever and to take advantage of them now!!!

Watching national news one night, a segment had him asking me about gay rights - you're gay, aren't you, dad? Of course, I answered, "Yes, my son." Thankfully, his questions stopped there, and he just answered, "cool." I wanted to hug his so hard then and there, but I refrained, as these are just topical conversations and/or questions. I skipped 2 grades growing up, and they wanted him to skip 2 also, but now with all the homeschooling and his test scores, they want him to skip 3. :O!!!
 
As the very proud father of a bright, wonderful 29-year-old son who, since age 8, has helped to raise both his divorced parents, I can tell you that you did exactly the right thing: you were honest and didn't place blame. When told by his mother, at age 8, that she and I were going to split up, his response was, "Hey, that's between you and day. I'm not getting in the middle of that." And he never did. His wisdom and even-handedness stopped me several times from exploding in a tirade about her. Knowing her, the same was probably true there, too.

Cherish that hug he gave you, too. It's his way of saying, "I got your back."

Good luck. This isn't your last surprise ;-)
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top