What do you bisexuals think of 'faux' bisexuals?

[ictguy]

QUOTE=mbamike;I really don't care what people call themselves! Treat me as you want me to treat you and we will get along just fine.

If you want to make the situation sexual, then we will take it into the bedroom and no one else needs to know. Enough with fucking labels.
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Well said, couldn't agree more.

 

[AsianDream]

See, this is where things always get weird for me.

I've heard bi and non-bi people say that if you have a "Strong preference" for either, you're really one or the other and just like occasional relations with the other sex. For instance, straight guys that get their dick sucked by men every once in a while aren't really bi but just want to get off. I think there's an obviously huge grey area here.

Also, what IF you're simply sexually attracted but not emotionally? Aren't we talking about sexuality? I'm not actually disagreeing with your definition, I quite like it, but like I said, I'm primarily sexually attracted to women and, so far in my life, only emotionally attracted to women. Like, 100% emotionally attracted to women, like I need some sort of emotional contact with a woman or I go nuts.

BUT, when I'm in the mood for gay porn, it's hard to get off on straight porn (and if I do, I usually focus on the guy's dick more). it's weird, my personality actually changes as well. I don't know if it's this weird internalized homophobia, but I'm sort of bi-polar bisexual, in that I feel like 2 different people.

In any case, I don't currently desire long term relationships with guys. So I call myself "straight" to avoid confusion, I suppose. But then, some people would just say I'm being homophobic, afraid to embrace myself, it's people like me that blah blah blah. I don't really care, I'm just pointing out how some people might approach these things....labels are really just shortcuts to be taken lightly, as in "I'm straight because I'm looking for a girlfriend right now, not a boyfriend".

PS> But yes, I'll wholeheartedly agree- if it was the flip side and I said I was "Gay" (as in, I'm really bi but right now I want/have a boyfriend), it's like a death sentence in the straight world that you can never come back from. Once you're gay, you're the "Gay" cook, doctor, actor, etc.

I agree with most of what you say.

I'm quite similar - except I've always been "pure" Gay - but have recently developed a strong desire for Girls as well. This is in no way a matter of being "cured" just I'd be silly to try and deny what I know makes me horny.

There is part of me that feels this betrays my gay firends - also I guess I've held this idea of "faux" (ie: fake) bisexuals myself in the past.

Whatever I know for a fact people's sexuality is not fixed - and tyring to put people in a sexual (or any other) box is misguided and probably insulting to them.

 

[AusDragon]

I know of a guy that is possibly faux-bi; whenever you see him at a party he will make out with a guy but always ends up with his girlfriend - never seen him at a party when he was single, I honestly think he has 'back-up' girlfriends in case of being dumped. As far as we know he has never slept with a guy and it is widely known his parents would freak if they found out about his activities with guys. So I do believe he is just a rebellious straight boy. Though this does not anger or offend me at all.
Maybe it is a stage, or maybe he is trying to find out his sexuality in a comfortable and secure place as possible - for all I know he may not be straight nor rebellious.

It all just comes down to how we label ourselves, as you all have mentioned. But labels limit us - I would bet that most people would feel that what they can and cannot do/act is limited to what they label themselves as.
To be honest I do not like calling myself bisexual - people have this misconception that I sleep around with everyone and anyone no matter what sort of relationship I am in. Not to mention those who think I am just sitting on the fence when it comes to sexuality. But unfortunately there is no label for someone who just likes sex and they do not care who it is with. (But if there is such a label please tell me)

 

[AsianDream]

But unfortunately there is no label for someone who just likes sex and they do not care who it is with. (But if there is such a label please tell me)

The Label is "Pansexual" - some discussions on this at bisexual.com/

 

[alli-berri]

AsianDream, I find very interesting your comment on pansexuality in ancient civs, and myself wonder why it seems we as a species have regressed in terms of accepting such behavior. Also, I really think I'd rather tell people I'm "pansexual" than bisexual, but hesitate to admit either for the same reason as AusDragon. I'm trying not to care what anybody thinks, but it's very irritating to be seen as a whore because I feed off people's energies rather than what I know is underneath their clothes.

Seriously, y'all: just be bi/pan if you want to, but if your ideal preference ain't broke, don't fix it! (Meaning, stick with dudes if that's what ya dig the most, or with chicks if they're more your thing). Otherwise, just fuck it, already. Fuck him. Or her. Or both. Get curious. Get over it.

On a separate but similar note, I'm sure there will always be plenty of ignorant, pubescent teenagers to keep the human race going, the world won't end if pure heterosexuality is no longer the majority's expectation of one another.

 

[jasoncrew03]

Do y'all exist I haven't seen any ? well I did see one on a t.v.show once does that count? Not here to offend anyone or get anyone angry.

...Ummmmm, yeah I exist...

 

[hotcockalex]

i think nothing about your 2 questions, its up to those people how to want to "label" themselves...

 

[Mnestor]

...Ummmmm, yeah I exist...

Well Hello and Nice to meet ya

 

[SLCBiGuy]

Well my personal opinion is pretty skewed. As a bi guy, I've been discriminated against by gay guys VERY often as they feel the necessity to express how I'm a "gay-in-hiding" and my bisexuality is only a passing thing and my gateway to admitting my homosexuality.

That in turn makes it so I despise faux-bisexual people. More often than not I'm usually irked by a woman who is claiming bisexuality just for the attention at the time. I'm not so hard on the people who are claiming bi and not admitting bisexuality. It's more of the fact that I respect that they are taking correct steps in admitting their feelings - despite the fact that it gives bisexual people a hard reputation to have to dispel.

 

[jasoncrew03]

As a bi guy, I've been discriminated against by gay guys VERY often as they feel the necessity to express how I'm a "gay-in-hiding" and my bisexuality is only a passing thing and my gateway to admitting my homosexuality.

I hate that.

 

[88Jockstraps]

Well my personal opinion is pretty skewed. As a bi guy, I've been discriminated against by gay guys VERY often as they feel the necessity to express how I'm a "gay-in-hiding" and my bisexuality is only a passing thing and my gateway to admitting my homosexuality.

That in turn makes it so I despise faux-bisexual people. More often than not I'm usually irked by a woman who is claiming bisexuality just for the attention at the time. I'm not so hard on the people who are claiming bi and not admitting bisexuality. It's more of the fact that I respect that they are taking correct steps in admitting their feelings - despite the fact that it gives bisexual people a hard reputation to have to dispel.

I'm truly sorry that has happened to you. I'm gay and I think the gay community should be more supportive than that.

 

[Flexuality]

Labels are useful. They give us something to compare ourselves to when we are confused and feeling isolated (for example, in coming out as gay or identifying as black and proud). They also can be used both positively (civil rights) and negatively (systematic discrimination) in politics.

But labels for human sexuality are way too limited, and there has been a lot of misinformation attached to them (for example, the commonly accepted idea that 10% of men and women are gay, when that actually includes the greater number of people who identify as bisexual). People experience different degrees of sexual desire, attraction, romance, and behavior: sometimes it's the same for both genders, but it's often different for any given person. The word "bisexual" just doesn't feel like a good match for such a diverse group of people, esp. since there are so many myths about bisexuality.

Probably the largest group of people are those who consider themselves straight but are curious and, under the right circumstances, would experiment. In other times and cultures (as some of you point out), the assumption was that everyone had the potential to enjoy sex with both genders, and people didn't think to label themselves as gay, straight, or bi.

I've been studying this for many years as a psychiatrist, and I've started a blog that discusses what I consider to be 12 different types of sexuality, rather than the standard three. Many of the posts on this thread made me think of the different labels that might apply. Anyway, it's at flexuality.info if you want to check it out. The labels are described under one of the page tabs.

I really don't think there are fake bisexuals, for the most part. It still carries too much stigma to pretend to be anything but straight. I think we're just seeing people who are bisexual in different ways and to different degrees. Whenever people assert that they are bisexual, I think it serves a good purpose by breaking down stereotypical assumptions that everyone is gay or straight.

 

[Ryuukie]

What do I think of faux bisexuals? I don't. If they say they're bisexual, well, they should know.

 

[clicker]

YES once again this is me and probably a ton of other lurkers on this site. I'm almost positive I'm bisexual but I still call myself straight because I have this fear that I'll try it and hate it. I'm actually worried that I really AM straight, if that makes sense. I'm worried my attraction to men is just some superficial thing that popped into my head because I was bored, and the only reason I get a boner over it is simply because it's taboo and different for me, and when the time really comes I'll get all turned off by it. Because then it just means I created some weird, artificial attraction in my head, which is really really disappointing to me.


So, I'm actually worried that I'm straight. I don't know if this is confusing, but the thought of it being a phase is supremely disappointing to me. But it may be true.

Very interesting...and honest. I think I feel the same way, only in the reverse...gay bicurious. Hmmmm,....

 

[XLeatherX]

I think if we look back in history to Greek and Roman civilisations - it may be that "pansexuality" is probably the normal human condition.

Which does include enough M/F sex (and loving relationships) to keep our species going.

In ancient Greek and Roman societies what we'd call homosexuality and bisexuality was very different than what we'd call being gay or bisexual today.

 

[AsianDream]

In ancient Greek and Roman societies what we'd call homosexuality and bisexuality was very different than what we'd call being gay or bisexual today.

Yes - I guess you're right - thier ideas on sexuality were not exactly the same.

These societies also took slavery for granted - just as the US founding fathers did.

But there is still a lot in common on their ideas of sexuality with those today - while their ideas on slavery would be more in line with Western idaes of 200 years ago.

 

[PrettyWings]

Hi,

I am gay, but I am one of the gays that believe that bisexuality truly exists.

But this is a question to you people who are real bisexuals...

What do you guys or girls, think of these people (straight or gay) who are calling themselves bisexuals either because...

1) They're not ready to come out as 'gay'.... OR

2) Some guys/girls think it's trendy to label themselves bisexual even if they're not.

What do I think? I actually hope that those gays who are labeling themselves bisexual get to a point where they accept that they're not attracted to both sexes. And I just think that number 2 up there is funny.

Some people [ closeted gays ] use it as a cloak, because they feel it's a hell of a lot better than being gay. Society frowns upon homosexuality - Grrr - but no one really condemns Bisexuality, per se. So, I believe many closeted gay people feel like that's the safer zone to identify with. It's almost like choosing the "lesser of two evils" for them.

I, myself, am and have been sexuality & emotionally attracted to Males & Females.

 

[biguy11188]

i've never got into these discussions before but something i have noticed and really pissed me off is the gay people on here that say bisexuality doesn't exist. half of them it seems like they're just saying it because they're horny gays that want the rest of the guys to turn to only dudes. it seriously angers me. of course there's bisexuality. there's gay, and there's straight as well. there's also curious. it all exists, quite obviously.

 

[galesbi]

It would be nice to agree that human sexuality, under any label, is natural. If we could agree on that, maybe we could take the leap that it falls under the spectrum of other naturally occurring things. Water: hot, cold, warm...enough labels to accuratly describe it? My hair was blonde when I was little, and then turned red, and now is brown, but my beard and everything below is red. But even those labels are too broad because my red is more red then some, and less red than others. I saw a frog that was more green than yellow. I hope you get the point.

If human sexuality is natural, than its ridiculous to think you can describe it accurately with a label, and to believe that it is static and to assume that it exsists on ridgid points on a defined spectrum. You can label my hair red, but you will never know what color it is until you experience it. You don't need a label for human sexuality, it isn't a food product, it is too fluid and dynamic per the individual. You need to experience the person to know them, not read their label.

 

[CGHJ]

It would be nice to agree that human sexuality, under any label, is natural. If we could agree on that, maybe we could take the leap that it falls under the spectrum of other naturally occurring things. Water: hot, cold, warm...enough labels to accuratly describe it? My hair was blonde when I was little, and then turned red, and now is brown, but my beard and everything below is red. But even those labels are too broad because my red is more red then some, and less red than others. I saw a frog that was more green than yellow. I hope you get the point.

If human sexuality is natural, than its ridiculous to think you can describe it accurately with a label, and to believe that it is static and to assume that it exsists on ridgid points on a defined spectrum. You can label my hair red, but you will never know what color it is until you experience it. You don't need a label for human sexuality, it isn't a food product, it is too fluid and dynamic per the individual. You need to experience the person to know them, not read their label.

Wow, BINGO!!! That's very well put.