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What do you consider a date?

BiGuy8705

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I've been really confused about this lately. There is a guy I've only actually went out with once, but I would say we're dating, because we both talk about how we're looking for a relationship, call eachother everyday, etc. However, I hung out with a friend of mine two days in a row, the second day we went to a party , and he mentioned something like "I should probably tell you this since its our second date..." now, he was drunk, but in my mind we're sure as hell not dating. lol. So... what exactly is a 'date'? I feel bad if anything I did with guy 2 was considered a date, because guy 1 and I agreed that we both don't date more than one person at a time.
 
I think it's only a date if both people know it's a date. Hanging out with someone doesn't make it a date. If that were the case, I may actually be in several different relationships.
 
They ask you out, you get food together/do stuff together and there's tension in the air. That's how you know that the outing your on is actually a date. Or, they could just say: "Do you want to go out on a date?" and then there's less tension.
 
Hanging out is not a date...it's hanging out.

A date is an engagement to go out socially (dinner, movie, theater, etc...) often out of romantic interest. It is a time for the two of you to be alone and spend quality time together, get to know each other better, etc...

If I go to a party with a friend, I do not consider that a "date".
 
Hanging out with someone does not constitute a date.

#1
There is romantic involvement. And both dudes know that.

#2
Dates are made in advance. Casual going for beers after work is not really a date.

#3
There is an air of tension and expectation. Romantic dates usually end up in bedrooom. For a good reason. How many candlelight dinners can you afford and how many do you really want to go to?

SC
 
Well, an interesting situation presented itself. "Bachelor" #1 has been really bothering me over the past few days... he's always negative, accusing me of things, and being overall very neurotic. (Getting annoyed when I go out with my friends, when the only reason I went out with them is he can't hang out), and now cancelled our date for today... he got mad at me for being mad, and said "I'm done with this" before I had a chance to. His immature reaction when I tried to talk about a problem makes me even more sure he's not someone I'd like to date in the first place.

"bachelor" #2's parents are out of town for the weekend, so I may go over there and hang out with him for a while. #2 is actually more my type, and is a really cool guy. I don't think he's looking for a relationship though, which is why I was really thrown off when he said the word date. There is a lot of tension in the air when we hang out, and I think its mostly because both of us are pretty quiet, and I know I'm constantly wondering what he's thinking. There was some drama a few weeks ago, and it's a long story, but I think he was told that I liked him back then. We didn't talk a lot, and then we hung out twice in a row (well now after yesterday 3 days in a row). Maybe the fact he thinks I like him made it a date? And if that's the case... he must have some attraction to me as well?
 
When a guy asks you to go to a restaurant and then tells you he has no money and makes you pay for everything. Needless to say I didn't call him back.
 
When a guy asks you to go to a restaurant and then tells you he has no money and makes you pay for everything. Needless to say I didn't call him back.

This is what I'd call a bad date!

What is a date? When you call him on Wednesday and ask him to dinner and a movie on Saturday. The evening ends with some tension, a kiss, and a request to go out again
 
I'm think you should talk with guy2 and make sure that he understand that you're not dating him, and you're just friends. Do it before it's too late, and he develop strong feelings for you that you might don't want.
 
Guy one is completley out of the picture. We went on a date on sunday, it was great. I called/txtd on Monday, he called me back on his break for 30 secs to say he had to go, then 30 more secs after he got off work to say he was goign to his friends and couldnt talk. Tuesday we were supposed to hang out, but then he said his mom would freak out so we couldn't... so I made plans with my other friends... then he got mad at me for that! Wednesday I went to that party, he started a big arguement, which I later found out was just for the sake of arguing... thursday we talked about everything, and I wasn't too happy with him... but we made plans for friday. Yesterday he said he was too tired, and that he understood why I was mad... then he got mad at me for being mad, blocked me, and deleted me from his myspace. He started txting immature insults just cuz he was OBVIOUSLY thinking about me, and I put him in his place. I told him to stop the immature insults, grow up, and maybe I'll still talk to him once he comes to his senses.

Guy two is ok, but he has a lot of issues... I'm going to actually post another thread about him.
 
I asked him by txt message just now, probalby the completely wrong way to do this, "When you said 'second date' at the party, what did you mean? He said he didn't mean anything by it.
 
...He said he didn't mean anything by it.

Well that's now... and because the situation. When I use a line like he did of course i want to say something important, but by now who knows what it was... Don't stress yourself thinking about it, give him some time to clear his mind. And you can have time to think twice if you really want him by your side.

By the way you describe his attitude i think he might be a guy who's used to troubled relationships.
 
Back in the day when I was in college, straight guys used the term "date" for any appointed time to meet together: there was no "sexual" component to it, and I remember being confused when a straight friend referred to a "date" with another guy.

Perhaps it had that connotation to him.
 
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