badness1002
On the Prowl
well, here i am, needing to go to sleep early since i have to wake up at 4 to take a 2 hour drive, test for 7 hours, then drive back for 2. yet, instead i am watching Ocean's 11, damn attractive Matt Damon and Brad Pitt. damn them! no, that's just an excuse. my guy friend, who is now the center of my universe, is out with his girlfriend tonight. so, naturally, all i can do is sit here and be a bitter bitch. it's just i am going nuts. i love him so much, and though not in a relationship, the fooling around defintely made things better. well, until he's done competition season, he's on a sex embargo. so, here i am, alone and going on like my second week witout physical contact, i am going crazy. and to make it all better, he decided i could have a peep show. gee thanks, now what am i supposed to do, you're not making things better! and of course, he's being all great to me, and making me want him more than ever, and i can't. and he knows it kills me, bastard. he doesnt know how much it kills me though that he's going out with that girl. i mean, i like her and all, but she does not feel anything for him, and i think he thinks he feels something for her. basically the hag that most people fall in love with and mistake it for actual love. so she doesnt even appreciate what she has, which kills me cuz i would give up so much to be with him all the way. i wish he would just give me the chance. plus, i don't think he understands how strongly i actually feel for him. i mean he understands i have intense love for him as a friend and that i lust after him and have nooooooo problem fooling around. but i want that to develop into something. he doesnt understand that he is all i need. i am about to go crazy, what do you do when you've done all you can to be with that person that matters the most and no matter how much you love them, it's just not enough?