What Do You Hate About Porn?

[JoeCatcher]

Where to start?
When the producer is saving money by doing the photoshoot at the same time and actors are constantly 'holding' so the photog can get his shot, with a flash no less.

Which leads to bad lighting. If they had it lit right for video, they wouldn't need a goddamn flash.

It ain't romance, I can get that on Brothers and Sisters, it's the sex. A story line is okay if the guys can act, otherwise no.

The bottom's dick is limp beginning to end. What, you don't like sucking and getting fucked? Find another line of work.

The top can't keep it up. LOL.

Scenes too long. Boring, no matter what they're showing.

If I'm noticing what's wrong, bomb, if I'm all hot and bothered, winner.

 

[Kyanimal]

Great post, Joe!

Butt, what does it take to get "all hot and bothered"?

I've seen so much "template"/formula porn, same vid/different guys, that it takes an incredibly awesome Beauty, or a unique "take"/story/angle, to catch "Animal's" unbridled attention anymore!

Once I've seen it, I've SEEN "IT"! Know what I mean?

Keep smilin'!!
Chaz

 

[didi122]

I HATE it when you watch a long video and they only show one of the guys cumming and not the other one
I HATE it when the bottom can't maintain a boner
I HATE it when there's a really really girly guy ><"
and cumming on the other guy's back is such a waste of a good facial potential

 

[Singularity]

Let's see... gay porn is going backwards or at least is fucking me and not in a good way.

When I watch older films from the 80s and 90s, there were plots and scenarios, the guys were natural (looking) and the sex felt real and the guys into it, as if the camera wasn't there.

Now, since the internet more and more companies are relying too much on making "porn stars". Most of the sex is more or less a showcase with new models every week. The sex itself is supposed to be a fantasy but they make it out as if it were real - in the end fucking a guy is fucking a guy. The gay performers look disengaged and the straight performers seem into each other - I seriously do not know whom or what to believe anymore.

Am I alone on this?

 

[FuryOfFirestorm]

"Oh god, oh yes, oh god, oh yes, yeah, yeah, suck that dick, suck it, fuck me in the ass, yeah, yeah, fuck my manpussy, oh god, oh yes, i'm gonna cum, shoot that hot load, oh yeah, fuck yeah, the end"

That pretty much sums it up.

 

[JoeCatcher]

Great post, Joe!

Butt, what does it take to get "all hot and bothered"?

I've seen so much "template"/formula porn, same vid/different guys, that it takes an incredibly awesome Beauty, or a unique "take"/story/angle, to catch "Animal's" unbridled attention anymore!

Once I've seen it, I've SEEN "IT"! Know what I mean?

Keep smilin'!!
Chaz

Well, lust is in the eye of the beholder, as they say. I'd guess that if the guy/s don't hit your hot button, it won't matter how high the production values are, you're probably going to be left yawning. And the reverse. If the guy/s are right up your particular alley, your mind's probably going to edit out all the goofs and silliness. But bottom line, the thing has to be lit at least well enough to see what's going on. (And no sound track at all is preferable to some totally inappropriate music banging away.)

 

[JoeCatcher]

"Oh god, oh yes, oh god, oh yes, yeah, yeah, suck that dick, suck it, fuck me in the ass, yeah, yeah, fuck my manpussy, oh god, oh yes, i'm gonna cum, shoot that hot load, oh yeah, fuck yeah, the end"

That pretty much sums it up.

As he reaches out and moves the newspaper so he can finish the article.

 

[wookiewho45]

I hate that it's so predictable. Kiss, suck suck fuck fuck cum cum, Also I hate when a porn is really really good, and its getting to the money shots right before they so something stupid like show a hug picture of a fat woman on the wall (true story) buzz kill or phone rings ect

 

[Kyanimal]

Well, lust is in the eye of the beholder, as they say. I'd guess that if the guy/s don't hit your hot button, it won't matter how high the production values are, you're probably going to be left yawning. And the reverse. If the guy/s are right up your particular alley, your mind's probably going to edit out all the goofs and silliness. But bottom line, the thing has to be lit at least well enough to see what's going on. (And no sound track at all is preferable to some totally inappropriate music banging away.)

I do hear, and agree with, everything you're saying there. However, even if one, or (please, Please!) BOTH, or more, of the guys "hit my buttons", if it's all poorly produced "Formula" porn, there's always the Fast Forward option. It's rather sad when a 20min. vid only has 2min. worth watching.

On the other hand ( ), if the story line is "believable", and the director has a Feeling for the Joys of SEX, the lighting is good, and the camera angles are 'intense', the editing is 'seamless', and the sound track is true to 'real', even if the actors are not quite UP to my "ideal" expectations, the overall result can be more than suck-sess-ful!

With all of the options available with today's technology, and all of the "HOT" dudes seemingly lining up to perform (whether it's just for the cash, or not), it's a real pity that we're not seeing more of the Artistry that was so prevalent in the years of "underground" Porn! Where's the Imagination? Where's the Desire? Where's the "OOmph!"? We seem to have enough "Beef" available!

All the more reasons to keep Hoping there are some producers that "get" that! And, of course ... no matter what ...

Keep smilin'!!
Chaz

 

[mygaybuffet]

Most American porn is bland. I like European stories, something has to happen to set a ball rolling - there has to be a purpose, a journey. I want to see real attraction being illustrated with a solid story line... Not just fucking. Groannnnnn, it's so lust killing to see everyone doing the same thing over and over. Some models even look the same. I guess, 'human-ness' is essential.

I am definitely catching onto European porn. The only problem is most of the guys are uncut.

My other big beef is the constant redundant use of the same guys over and over and over. These guys get paid pretty well; you're telling me these studios can't find fresh meat?!

I also don't care for solos.

 

[nugmartin]

when guys take too much time to cum....they pull out then jerk for 5 minutes to cum- what started as a sex scene is now a jo scene....the editors should cut that footage down to 30 seconds- max....the longer it takes to cum makes it seem like the guy wasn't into the sex- hotter when they get off right after pulling out- as if totally into it.

Totally agree with you there. As I said earlier, its more natural when the guy pulls out before he cums. If I wanted to watch JO scene, I would watch a solo.


Anyone else thinks the same?

 

[mygaybuffet]

Yes here as well! But what's wrong with the guy cumming in the condom while inside his buddy's ass?! A filled up condom is just so hot!

 

[gumshoe]

I hate when the start of the porn, they're already naked or fucking or whatever sex they're doing.

I hate when they skip scenes. Part of my enjoyment is watching the clothes come off. If suddenly they're kissing and then flash to a scene where the pants are gone, huh?

I don't like that every porn leads to anal. It's predictable. Of course sex is to be had in some way but once anal is reached, you know to expect nothing else.

I like the beginning to start off either with whoever's involved not having met up yet, or at least clothed. I like to see how they get from point A to point Z, even if it's done quickly. If it's a 2 minute video, the beginning should be them fully clothed.

 

[goldenmoth]

I hate when you can see the cameraman in a mirror or something. It really destroys the fantasy.

 

[Adrock-JD]

First and foremost is over acting.

Sometimes, they just don't get the editing right.

I hate it when they change the scene constantly like a crack cocaine addict with ADHD, or jiggle the camera around like you're in an earthquake.

Contrary, I hate it when they just leave the camera on a tripod and don't move it for 10 minutes.

There's a happy medium in between those two extremes.
Hold the camera steady, zoom and pan slowly, stay on a shot for at least a few minutes but no more than that.

Don't get the mic too close to the guys mouths. The volume gets way too loud.

Face shots occasionally are nice, too. Don't forget about the face shots.

 

[EphGuy]

I grew up watching porn on-line which is a good and bad thing. The good stuff was that I learned about a lot of stuff watching it. Def a better cock-sucker for it and probably would have taken me a much longer time to get into rimming.

I also discovered that there were dudes like me out there who just happened to be into dick.

The big problem is that you want your sex life to be like porno and it almost never really plays out that way. when you're actually with a guy or guys, i think you need to lose your porn expectations if you want to have a hot time.

 

[mygaybuffet]

For me it's the cumshot like when a guy is going to cum in his partners face and it goes over his head on on his chestone drop goes in his mouth WTF so so dissappointing

Or when the guy has his eyes closed fearing that a drop of cum touch his I'm-straight ass face. Right!

 

[tcrawford18]

Oh yay a place to put my list!! Things I HATE about (gay) porn.

1. Tattoos, especially stupid looking ones i.e. Tweety bird, four leaf clover, rainbow on right hip. Or tramp stamps. Yuck.

2. Horrible and/or cheap locations. Why do I see so many porn vids taking place in the cheapest motel room ever. I mean, please at least come up with a good set.

3. Staring at a closeup shot of the dick pumping into the hole for an hour. Yeah it's hot to see, but not for fifteen to twenty minutes straight. I prefer to see the boy's face as he's getting pounded, and the muscles of the top flexing with effort, thank you.

4. Tops who have to take over and jerk themselves to climax. Wow hire a new bottom please, one who knows how to handle a dick? Thanks.

5. Cheesy, overused, predictable storylines. It's almost 2012 people, can't you come up with something better than "the pizzaboy sure can deliver! wink wink"

Overall I am very surprised that with so many porn studios out there I can't think of one who has been able to break away from the norm. You'd think there would be someone with a creative mind who would be able to get some hot actors together, shoot them having really hot sex, all while setting up a good location and decent storyline to back it up. But so far I've been less than impressed lately.

 

[Kyanimal]

Or when the guy has his eyes closed fearing that a drop of cum touch his I'm-straight ass face. Right!

Um ... In their defense ... Have YOU ever gotten cum in your eyes, whether it was yours or someone else's?

Trust me. It's not something you want to experience!

Well ... maybe once, just so you'll know not to let that happen again.

Keep smilin'!!
Chaz

 

[mygaybuffet]

^Fair point!^