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On Topic Discussion What do you think about bisexuals?

This gal is getting impatient!

She and her gal pals keep on getting mentioned in JUB arguments by "BI-GUYS" but somehow they never touch her. The Bi-guys may have touched her a long, long time ago. Those Bi-guys they must believe in the One Drop Theory!

Jane+Russell.jpg
 
xbuzzerx said:
I actually don't think it's stupid at all. If you want to claim that is stupid then you also have to claim anyone ever identifying as gay at all is stupid, because many of us have had sexual relationships with women.
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...the difference, of course, being that a gay guy might use his sexual experience with a woman to work out that he never wants to go there again, while a bi guy might look back on that and say "wow, that was awesome, even though I'm happily and solidly with a guy."

That's a permissible combination, and it's getting overlooked.

If I consider 3 monogamous men, one gay, one bi, one straight, they might all say they are happily with the person of their respective dreams until death does them part. Each of them if widowed would have different options though.
 
bankside said:
...the difference, of course, being that a gay guy might use his sexual experience with a woman to work out that he never wants to go there again, while a bi guy might look back on that and say "wow, that was awesome, even though I'm happily and solidly with a guy."

That's a permissible combination, and it's getting overlooked.

If I consider 3 monogamous men, one gay, one bi, one straight, they might all say they are happily with the person of their respective dreams until death does them part. Each of them if widowed would have different options though.
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What's being "overlooked" is that by a 1-99% range, there are a lot of gay and bi people whose only difference is how they feel about certain labellings.
 
xbuzzerx said:
What's being "overlooked" is that by a 1-99% range, there are a lot of gay and bi people whose only difference is how they feel about certain labellings.
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Yeah, that part I understand and I agree with: there are lots of bi or gay guys claiming to be straight, and its bullshit, and we know it because they actively and willingly seek out sex with other guys. They have an english language vocabulary problem: the word for that ain't straight.

But I don't think I can apply the same reasoning the other way around. If a guy in a relationship with another guy feels strongly enough about the sexuality of women to call himself bi, how can I objectively argue with that?

And I do have to insist that past experience doesn't always count; it depends on what that experience represents. I mean I was once discussing marriage with a woman and I'm the gayest of gay gay homosexuals. Boobies helped me realise that. But if we just tallied up the serious commitments in my life, I'd be at risk of being called bi.


edit---

AND I'd hope that the 16 years with my one guy would count for something about who I am. But I'd also like to think that me saying "this is who i am, a gay man" counts for something without needing my back history. Bi people should be entitled to that same courtesy.

AAAND as one of those happy monogamous gay guys who would gladly stay that way until old age, if it is not meant to be and I found myself widowed or if he went mad and fucked off to another country or something, I'd consider all sorts of unconventional relationships. On some days I'm happy to call myself a bi-curious gay guy. Probably because boobies weren't that bad after all, it was more of the "socialization of female sexuality in 1990's north america" that was the turn off.. And if I were inclined to do anything about it and I satisfied myself it was more than curiosity, then I'd call myself bi. And then so would everyone else.
 
bankside said:
And I do have to insist that past experience doesn't always count; it depends on what that experience represents. I mean I was once discussing marriage with a woman and I'm the gayest of gay gay homosexuals. Boobies helped me realise that. But if we just tallied up the serious commitments in my life, I'd be at risk of being called bi.
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If you carried into your present age some kinds of serious misgivings about being identified, labelled, tagged or stereotyped as gay, you could very well be standing here right now saying you're bi, offering your past experiences as proof, and calling the rest of us are haters for questioning it.

That's really the only point I was making. The label and the parameters people use for it inherently engender a certain degree of skepticism. I think the idea of a straight/gay dichotomy, like the video suggests, is actually less the culprit. It's that our society has a very strong gay or not gay dichotomy which I feel is actually more relevant. While there are "real" bisexual people, the bisexual label is a catchall for everyone who wants to stay on one side of that dichotomy, and for everyone who has programmed or internal baggage related to their dominant sexual attraction.
 
xbuzzerx said:
In a way you're proving my point. It comes off like a stubborn resentment and identifying this way "out of principle" just out of annoyance that someone experienced questioning about their sexual label. If someone says I only intend to be with x gender for the rest of my life I have no idea why they would be either surprised or resentful about mistaken perceptions of their non-bisexuality.

Someone "not caving" by itself, regardless of the specifics, doesn't impress me at all. If it did I would have voted for Bush and McCain. I have no idea why you're saying it like it's a great thing that inherently adds credibility.
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You have no idea because you are not bisexual, so please stop trying to be an expert on every subject you touch. BION It is not everyone's intention to impress you in the slightest; i have my opinions, you have yours and they have theirs. Not caving to other's expectations is a commendable trait for most normal people.
 
mikey3000 said:
You have no idea because you are not bisexual, so please stop trying to be an expert on every subject you touch. BION It is not everyone's intention to impress you in the slightest; i have my opinions, you have yours and they have theirs. Not caving to other's expectations is a commendable trait for most normal people.
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For someone so uninterested in my opinion, you respond to me a lot. :) Also not being an x doesn't stop anyone on this site whatsoever from having any opinion on just about everything, so no, that exclusion doesn't suddenly kick in just on the bi topic. This is a gay forum, btw. It's not like I came to a bi forum and tried to push some kind of view at bisexual people. If you don't want any perspectives from non-bisexual people then this is as bizarre a place to hold a discussion about it as a straight forum.
 
xbuzzerx said:
I actually don't think it's stupid at all. If you want to claim that is stupid then you also have to claim anyone ever identifying as gay at all is stupid, because many of us have had sexual relationships with women.

Being gay is not the same as telling anyone you have no capacity or interest at all in women or ability to form relationships with them. But that statement also doesn't make all those gay men bisexual. All my saying I'm gay tells you is that I intend to end up with a male.[/I] According to you that's a "stupid" basis. As far as I'm concerned it's a far more practical bit of information than a percentile statement of my theoretical compatibilities.
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That's a novel definition.
 
bankside said:
...the difference, of course, being that a gay guy might use his sexual experience with a woman to work out that he never wants to go there again, while a bi guy might look back on that and say "wow, that was awesome, even though I'm happily and solidly with a guy."

That's a permissible combination, and it's getting overlooked.

If I consider 3 monogamous men, one gay, one bi, one straight, they might all say they are happily with the person of their respective dreams until death does them part. Each of them if widowed would have different options though.
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Quite well said!
 
I am straight btw. I have never touched a woman, the thought weirds me out, I can't even get it up to a woman, and I LOVE having sex with guys. I've been in love and dated guys long term, and I can't get enough of that hot male on male intercourse.

But I'm straight.
 
ElmosToe said:
I have to pee, does that make me bi?
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That depends...

Do you sit or stand?
Cut or uncut?
Boxers or briefs?
Masc. Or fem?
Top or bottom?
Do you hold it/ jerk off with your right or left hand?
Shoe size?
Flip flops?
Spit or swallow?
One lump or two?
 
Polysexual...a billion degrees of sexuality...why stop at 2?


Fancy a worm?


Well....stick it in....
 
xbuzzerx said:
No. But I think that many bi people, and I strongly suspect the guy in the video, have long histories of near exclusive preference for one gender while reacting in pronounced annoyance that their bisexuality isn't being recognized.

The problem with the "could be 1% through 99%, however the person within that range feels like identifying" parameter is that it obscures what is probably for most only a theoretical compatibility with both genders and doesn't tell you anything about their effective attraction. Even according to many bisexuals at JUB, 50/50 bisexuals are rare.

If anyone presumes that my ID of gay necessarily implies a 0.0% attraction to women, they'd be wrong, and that's likely true of many gay men. It doesn't bother me, though, because I intend to pursue and settle down with someone who is male.
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I agree with this completely. Those who are so defensive about their sexual identity and the bi label despite their clear preference for one gender protest too much.
At that point it's often cowering to societal norms and trying to dodge all the associations and negative perceptions that come with "gay" and/or also a resistance to accepting who you really may be.

I think 100% gay or straight is rare. However do you see straight or gay individuals who may have some attraction to the opposite sex protesting that they are actually bi? What's the point unless you are single and want your sexual identity to be known for practical purposes?
 
LuckysRevenge said:
I agree with this completely. Those who are so defensive about their sexual identity and the bi label despite their clear preference for one gender protest too much.
At that point it's often cowering to societal norms and trying to dodge all the associations and negative perceptions that come with "gay" and/or also a resistance to accepting who you really may be.

I think 100% gay or straight is rare. However do you see straight or gay individuals who may have some attraction to the opposite sex protesting that they are actually bi? What's the point unless you are single and want your sexual identity to be known for practical purposes?
Click to expand...

That's my thing too. I am, in fact, 100% gay. But being 90% gay is the same for all intents and purposes. Being 80% gay is the same for all intents and purposes. Hell, if I COULD get it up for a girl, I'd totally have sex with one, just to say I'd done it, and it still wouldn't occur to me to call myself bisexual.

In the reality I inhabit, bisexuality is a term that describes people who are if not 50/50, then at most 40/60 in one direction. People who can build an emotionally and sexually satisfying relationship with either gender, even if they might have a slight leaning towards one of them. A straight dude who made out with or gave/was given a bj by his frat brother isn't bi if that's all he ever did, and neither is a gay dude who had a gf in school that he actually liked before he came out, but hasn't even thought of women since.

Come on.
 
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