What do you think?

[Theyoungman]

Its completely normal.

Nothing weird about it.

Its just how you feel about it.

 

[Theyoungman]

Explore it. You might find happiness. You must pursue it to see where it will lead.

 

[Soilwork]

what I think is that we all convince ourselves at one point that it's just a phase or a fantasy.

but with most of us.. it's not.

it's what we are... it's WHO we are.

own it. confident men are so sexy.

 

[Soilwork]

tell me your first experience was what you thought it would be

it wasn't.

it was better.

 

[Theyoungman]

tell me your first experience was what you thought it would be

one of my fantasies unfortunatly came to me too soon, I ended up doing something I wish I didn't do, and yes it didn't trun out the way I wanted it, but fantasies usually never happen the way you wished them to.

But I still have that fantasy for my perfect man and thats all tha matters, so I will continue to pursue it.

 

[Theyoungman]

Fantasies will only turn out better or worse than you would have liked them to, but you will never know unless you find out, otherwise it will stay a fantasy and never come true.

You are probably just bisexual and if that is the case then you should try having sex with men so you can get it over with and make a decision if you liked it and would like to continue it or not.

 

[tonyboy]

i am attracted to men, but being a man myself i don't think i would enjoy anal or oral with another man. i've been thinking seriuosly about experimenting just to get it out of my system. is it weird to be attrated but not on a complete sexual level?

That's an interesting question friend.
You say you don't think you would enjoy oral or anal sex with another man. I guess the thing you should do is date a guy first.
Think about what you wrote ^..... you want to experiment? Well man, experimenting is a tough thing to do. I guess you could go to a gay bar and dance or have drinks with gay guys. Doesn't mean you have to have sex with them. So what do you mean by the term 'experimenting'? Do you want to date a guy? Seems you aren't ready for sex yet, and that is probably best until you figure what you want. But I don't know how you can experiment and 'get it out of your system', what do you want to get out of your system man?
Kissing another guy? Maybe just being with a guy for a while? You need to figure that out first my friend.
There are lot's of places you could go to dance or share drinks with a guy... even have a limited sexual expericence. But man, remember that gay guys are not play things (well some are I guess, those that just want to fuck around).
During your non sexual experimenting you may find someone that is becomes interested in you. Say you figure on just meeting a guy to share some time with, go to a ball game, have some drinks, whatever. Non sexual of course. But my friend, remember that you are dealing with another human... not some sort of lab animal that is there for you to experiment with. The person that you meet may be a fine guy and is looking for more than what you are looking for.
I guess I'm saying that you should decide what you really want before you go out looking for someone that you may end up hurting.
You are thinking about your feelings right now, probably cannot decide if you are gay, bi, or straight. That is all fine my friend, there are many guys that cannot pin down their sexuality.
It's damn tough for gay guy to find a true partner in this world, it doesn't help when he thinks he has found it then his mate decides that the gay world isn't for him.
Best to figure youself out first man, if you can, before you go out and meet someone that could be damaged if you change your mind.

 

[Soilwork]

i don't believe you

meh.

your loss.

 

[Theyoungman]

[what did you do??????? ha ha. i've known that i am bi for a long time.

I let my disire to make my fantasy come true get teh best of me.

I lost my virginity to the most handsome guy I have met (a few weeks ago), but didn't have a pleasurable experience, his age was way off form what I wanted it to be, I didn't use a condom even when we had them available, I let him come inside (even though he asked me where I wanted it), and the fact that I did it too soon.

I did it too soon because he was there and I didn't know if I would have another chance, so I took it.

 

[Soilwork]

tonyboy

sometimes you find yourself by using other people.

I don't agree. I think you find yourself by allowing yourself to accept everthing you are.

 

[Soilwork]

that's the fantasy killer I'm talking about

yeah.. you have to remember that even when you're finalyl living out your fantasy, you have to do it in the real world.

Only when it's right.. with the right guy.. and always protect yourself.

You're the only you you'll ever have.

 

[Theyoungman]

that's the fantasy killer I'm talking about

It didn't kill my fantasy. It damaged it. As far as I know, I wish to try it with him again because he is available. I indeed can have another chance to turn the tides of what happend the first time. I have planned to meet him again and try again.

My fantasy is not dead.

 

[tonyboy]

tonyboy

sometimes you find yourself by using other people.

I'll give you the benefit of the doubt here man hoping you didn't write 'using other people' in a bad way. I figure you to be a good guy, and don't think that you would 'use' anyone to help you figure yourself out.

So what is it man? Do you think you are a gay guy? Nothing wrong with that my friend. If you haven't figured yourself out yet, no problem. Lot's of guys take some time to do that.
Not fair though to let some dude fall in love with you then you decide you want to explore the 'other side'. If you want to go out and have sex go for it man. If you want to date guys for a lark do it. Just choose the type of guys that are not interested in finding a true and loving partner.
You seem to be a considerate sort of guy, at least you are trying to think these things through, and I doubt you would hurt anyone on purpose.

 

[Theyoungman]

that was a joke.

It doesn't matter.

Even though my first time failed, he and I are willing to try again, so I will try again and see what becomes of it.

my point is that I don't have to give up on it. I can still make my fantasy come true as best as posible.

You should try talking with guys and see what happens.

I believe you don't need anymore advice.

 

[Soilwork]

epic... if you want us to tel you that sex with men sucks and to stick to women... you're in the wrong place.

 

[Theyoungman]

are you just into men? It's much easier with women. 1 2 3

If you are here to gay bash in some form I suggest everyone to just let this guy handle his own problems...

 

[Croynan]

Well considering the fact that you are and will be dealing with human emotions, I would think one would want to give serious thought as to what you think you want to do and with whom. As the emotions of both individuals will be involved.

I guess i am wondering if you are talking about real fantasies (and one can have all the fantasies they want, as long as they do not turn into hallucinations - origins of the statement, the field of psychiatry) or something to the equivalent to "fun and games?"

I guess the next logical question that might come up in one's mind is should one just go for an act of pure sexuality with little or no emotions involved by either party, with the assumption that both individuals are totally aware that those are the "rules of the game."

random thoughts from a local village idiot who often sees things differently then others in this thread. thus sometimes being in the minority with chastisement a possibility.

no further comments will follow this posting as it is late.

eM.

 

[NickCole]

ecrip87,

There are gay men who don't like anal or oral sex. Being gay isn't defined by specific sexual acts, it's how you feel about being physically intimate with a man. There are gay men who enjoy only rubbing or handjobs, or even just making out and then masturbating.

If what you fantasize is safe and you have the chance to fulfill it, I think you should.

You're right -- being who you are can be very tough. But the alternative is much more painful as the years go on. Discover who you are and go after the experiences that you dream of. Believe me, it's worth the effort.

 

[Theyoungman]

ecrip87,

There are gay men who don't like anal or oral sex. Being gay isn't defined by specific sexual acts, it's how you feel about being emotionally and physically intimate with a man.

.

Fixed...

 

[Soilwork]

ha ha ha, I stumbled on this site on accident, i have never said those things out loud. i just wanted to vent and get some response never ment to offend. Being who you are can be very very very very tough.

THANK YOU

Yes, it is.

And it's also very very very very worth it in the end.

and I don't think you offended anyone.

this place CAN be a pretty good one for some good advice... even from mean bullies like me.