What does a date mean to you?

[Danugh]

So a few days ago i had a thread about this guy i met asking me out but then suggests i pay for the movie and he gets dinner.

So i never called him back regarding the movie times so he messages me today and says,

"Why haven't i heard back from you about those times?"

"Well, my internet was down and i guess i forgot"

"So how was the concert?"

"I had a good time, i met 2 guys there"

"Did you get there numbers?"

"Yes"

"Why are you telling me about meeting guys when you know that i am interested in you?"

"Well how am i supposed to know that you are interested in me? I thought we were just conversing as friends the other day"


"Noooooo, we were supposed to go and see a movie and have dinner, thats called a DATE"

"Well since we were splitting dinner and a movie i just assumed it was plutonic"

"Just because we are splitting it on a first meeting doesn't mean its plutonic"

-----------------

I didn't message him back after that.


Friends go dutch, how is splitting dinner and a movie romantic or letting me know that you are interested?

So what is date?

What do you understand by a date?

How is a date conducted?

What comes to mind when you hear the word date?


Us splitting the movie and dinner to me seemed like just a first meet since we had been talking online, but certainly not date when its being split.

Whats your understanding of a date?

 

[luminum]

You both going out sure seemed like fodder for a date. I would bear in mind that it might be a date, but not be presumptuous and still treat it like a friend thing until I was on it and could decide what it was more of--a date or a friendly outing.

I guess he shouldn't have been so offended that you went out and met a few guys and got their numbers, since it would have been your first date. Then again, if he thought it was a date (and there's good enough reason to think that it could have been and if he felt like he cemented it with you, then it makes sense that he would be miffed at you going out and getting some other guys' numbers.

But apparently he didn't dp a good job makign it clear and you didn't know, so I would cut you some slack.

 

[trawler69]

So what is date? 11 April 2007 for example

What do you understand by a date? Chronological reference

How is a date conducted? It starts with the big hand on the 12 and ends on it two revolutions later

What comes to mind when you hear the word date? 14 th of May

 

[SilverRRCloud]

Nope, dude. Nothing was supposed to be Plutonic.

It could have been Platonic? Dunno?

---
I'd simply be truthful.

'Dude, I think, I am hot. Period.'

'If you want to enjoy the charm of my hot company, you pay for everything and you forget about going Dutch with me anywhere. Once we sort that bit out, we can start talking dates or anything else for that matter.'

SC

 

[loppyears]

It doesn't matter who's paying, he asked you to a movie AND dinner! How many guys do that these days? It's usually just "hey do you wanna come back to my place?" Seriously, it sounded like a date to me.

 

[BiGuy8705]

I don't get whats the big deal about splitting who pays for an evening? What's the difference between this, or him paying for both this time and you paying for both next time? When I started hanging out with the guy I'm now seeing, I guess I kinda kept a mental running total of who paid for what, and try to keep it even... or sometimes buy dinner and he pays tax, etc... tho I'm not too worried about $$$ overall if the guy is worth it...

Dinner and a movie def sounds like a date to me...

 

[spreadeagle]

You seem to be putting yourself through a lot of anguish about this guy when you're clearly 'not that into him'. Is the point of whether it was a 'date' or not relevant since you never went on it anyway?

You had a perferct opportunity in your message conversation, to address the issues of sharing payment that you had raised in your post here. That you didn't resolve it suggests that you had no emotional investment in doing so.

 

[Riverrick]

The specific terms of what makes a Date are different with gay men than with straight couples. Going Dutch is common on the first date with us. With straight couples, the guy is expected to pay.

You might want to loosen your definition a little bit.

 

[looseliam]

Regardless of one's interpretation, I don't see how he's upset that you're still looking even thought you two haven't had a date yet.

Big deal. Go on dates with other guys, find the one who fits.

 

[RicanDAB]

I see it as this:

Going on a date is an opportunity to see whether there is potential for a future relationship. If the precursors of a get-together were conversations intimate enough to suggest that there would be some sort of physical AND emotional attraction between the two of you ... then it is a date. But if the meeting only involves interest between the two of you on a purely sexual level, it's not a date, it is a hookup. If you two were going to hang out as friends then the sexual attraction would not exist or be at issue.

As a general rule, it's best to clarify what's going on beforehand to eliminate this confusion.

 

[sebastian-k]

to me:

DATE = agrreement or apointment with somebody (1 person) to spend some time or do an activity together. And there must be a romantic interest.