jbrown329
JUB Addict
Here the arborists call it topping. If they really take the tree back, it looks like an upright log with a bit of green. That's alright, it starts coming back like mad the next spring.
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Attention What does boning a tree mean?
- Thread starter Vannie
- Start date
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Do you live in Salem?
Because long ago, in Salem, the good fathers decided that the lads needed an outlet for their randiness and designated a tree in the village square as the surrogate for all the virgin lasses. They carved the most cunning orifice and set up specific times that the village bucks could find their pleasure.
The problem was...it was too much of a success. The young men were lining up and spending their seed and lust on the grand old tree and ignoring their other duties. Married men started consorting with the tree and ignring their wives.
So an edict came down.
No more fucking the tree in the village square.
The men in Salem seemed to accept the judgement...but gradually it was noticed that a lot of them were slipping out for a stroll after dark leaving their wives and children waiting for them to return or their girlfriends wondering if they would ever be courting them for marriage.
It just wasn't an acceptable situation.
The elders met and took the terrible decision to solve the problem once and for all.
So on the next day, they had the tree cut down. Lying there though...the great tree still looked too alluring. They didn't want burn it..the tree was tall and straight and would provide hundreds of board feet of lumber and coin for the village.
So they sold it. To the next town over.
The wagons turned up with dozens of brawny, burly men and they cut away all the limbs and then hoisted the trunk onto their wagons to take to be split and sawn.
The men of Salem could stand by no longer as their tree was about to be taken away and fell on their neighbours with great ferocity...punching, jabbing and kicking. Blood flowed, bones were shattered and someone lost an eye.
The moral of the story?
You can take Salem out of the Cunt Tree, but you can't take the Cunt Tree out of Salem.
Because long ago, in Salem, the good fathers decided that the lads needed an outlet for their randiness and designated a tree in the village square as the surrogate for all the virgin lasses. They carved the most cunning orifice and set up specific times that the village bucks could find their pleasure.
The problem was...it was too much of a success. The young men were lining up and spending their seed and lust on the grand old tree and ignoring their other duties. Married men started consorting with the tree and ignring their wives.
So an edict came down.
No more fucking the tree in the village square.
The men in Salem seemed to accept the judgement...but gradually it was noticed that a lot of them were slipping out for a stroll after dark leaving their wives and children waiting for them to return or their girlfriends wondering if they would ever be courting them for marriage.
It just wasn't an acceptable situation.
The elders met and took the terrible decision to solve the problem once and for all.
So on the next day, they had the tree cut down. Lying there though...the great tree still looked too alluring. They didn't want burn it..the tree was tall and straight and would provide hundreds of board feet of lumber and coin for the village.
So they sold it. To the next town over.
The wagons turned up with dozens of brawny, burly men and they cut away all the limbs and then hoisted the trunk onto their wagons to take to be split and sawn.
The men of Salem could stand by no longer as their tree was about to be taken away and fell on their neighbours with great ferocity...punching, jabbing and kicking. Blood flowed, bones were shattered and someone lost an eye.
The moral of the story?
You can take Salem out of the Cunt Tree, but you can't take the Cunt Tree out of Salem.
jbrown329
JUB Addict
^^ +10 ................
Vannie
Stuffer
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You scallywag!
They trim most of the trees in a tulip shape in town.They look like crap at first,but grow out nicely.
I always pictured you as a lutefisk eatin Paul Bunyan.
rareboy...I enjoyed that story immensely.
jbrown329
JUB Addict
Put the bone in she asked him at the store