"What does "I know, right?" mean in this context

[KaraBulut]

Trying to interpret nuances of texts messages won't get you there any time soon.

The way to resolve this is to tell him you're into guys and then ask him out.

 

[PrettyWings]

LOL @ "[ I ] just want to know how to gay flirt". Funny stuff.

In any event, I'm thinking he was referring to the idea of doing something when he's not working.

Either way, pitching the idea to him again in a more direct way will easily clear up the misunderstanding.

 

[techie70]

I would interpet that as both - he was referring to working too much and wanting to hang out. Ask him to hang out. This is a great opportunity to get out of your new phase.

 

[breathe]

You drove home after having drinks?

 

[techie70]

How long since you texted him that? I would definitely give it a couple days before txting him again if he doesn't reply. When he replies suggest something where you can talk to each other. Coffee, lunch or dinner. Avoid a movie for the first meet up. Do you run into him in person often?

 

[Seasoned]

I'll play to the point gay grandfather here. Stop drinking and driving, or have one or two early in the evening. Begin admitting who you are if you want to get laid. Why can't you tell a gay guy you're bi?

 

[altlover85]

Because i never thought/expected that i like him

Even if you do like him, that doesn't mean you can't come out to him. I would just make sure there were no major expectations on your end in terms of him liking you back. Come out to him as a friend, not as a guy that's into him.

 

[backpacker]

Welcome to JUB!

I don't get why you would pretend to not know him. I realize that may have been a joke, but could be taken the wrong way very easily.

If you were drunk enough to text things that you hadn't had the balls to do before, then you were too drunk to drive. I'm not trying to get down on you. You just need to realize that you weren't as fine to drive as you think.

I'm glad to see things are progressing with this guy. I hope your hanging out turns into more than just hanging out. Good luck!

 

[SayWhat]

Not to sound harsh, but I think saying "I know, right?" was a way to step around your request to hang out. I do the same thing when people ask me to hang out and I don't really have intentions of doing so.

Answers like "That would be fun!" or "Sounds good!" typically mean "I don't want to say no, but chances are slim!"

Whereas answers like "I have Friday off... What do you have planned?" or "What are you doing this weekend?" would indicate that I'm actually incorporating the person into my schedule.


Maybe I'm just weird, but I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one that does this.

 

[KaraBulut]

..."I know, right?"..."That would be fun!"..."Sounds good!" ...

Maybe I'm just weird, but I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one that does this.

Add "let's do lunch!" and then it's pretty clear that you're not the only one.

 

[shainski]

I don't know that you could read too much into "I know, right?". It could be filler - it could be a yes.

What does "I will check next weeks schedule" mean then? So many layers, why can't he be direct and say what is on his mind?

This could be a delay tactic or he could be genuinely interested - see what he follows up with. If he gives you a night he is free - then he is likely interested.

If he is busy every night - give it one more chance (in case he really is)- but then just leave it up to him to contact you.

Keep us posted

 

[TX-Beau]

What does "I will check next weeks schedule" mean then? So many layers, why can't he be direct and say what is on his mind?

Well, why can't you be direct and say what's on your mind?

Because you'd like him to take the risks perhaps?

"I will check next weeks schedule" also sounds like a dodge. Anyone who has next week's schedule has an idea of what's on it.

 

[SayWhat]

Well, why can't you be direct and say what's on your mind?

Because you'd like him to take the risks perhaps?

"I will check next weeks schedule" also sounds like a dodge. Anyone who has next week's schedule has an idea of what's on it.

Agreed.

He doesn't know of a single day he has off for the next week already? Just sayin'.

I'm not trying to be a douche or get you down. I'd just hate for people to blow sunshine and roses your way and make you think there's more to it than there really is. That's not a healthy place to be in!

I hope everything works out well for you whether it's with this guy or someone else, though!!

 

[TX-Beau]

He doesn't know of a single day he has off for the next week already? Just sayin'.

Yeah, I can't think of a single guy I was interested in that I didn't make time for - whatever was on my schedule, and the last thing I wanted was confusion about my motives.

 

[techie70]

Ok - here's what I want to know. Have you two ever hung out just the two of you in the past year you've known each other? Do you think he has any idea that you like him? I can tell you from my experience when I was working and in school it was difficult to schedule time with my friends. I had to be very non committal due to group project meetings etc that came up short notice. But if there was a romantic interest I would definitely try to work something out.

 

[Ephemeral]

To me, it sounds like he's too nice to turn you down.

My main question is: Does he ever text you first? Does he ever suggest to hang out? If you're the one always initiating the texts, then that's a bleeding red sign right there.

When he said 'I know right?!', that looked to be in reference to 'Work work work!' not the 'let's hang out' part. And 'let me check next week's schedule' sounds like an excuse too. Possibly legitimate, but sounds phony.

Y'all only hang out in groups and when it's just you and him together, it's drinking involved. He's there to have a good time, not to specifically be with you (i.e. dancing with you).

You can come out to him and have him as a friend. But please, do not expect the feelings to be mutual.

 

[TX-Beau]

All of that could be just friends, you have no definitive answer.

Frankly, you need to step up and make your interest absolutely clear.

Otherwise you're going to angst away in limbo.

If he is interested, and he's playing the same game as you - that game would be not stepping up and being clear, then you'll both sit around wondering until one or the both of you get bored and move on, each thinking the other wasn't interested.

How bad do you want him? Bad enough to take a risk and put yourself out there? Bad enough to deal with your fear?

If you do, there's no guarantee he'll be interested, or that it will work out, but hell, do you really think that would be worse than where you are now?

Grab your scrotum and do something.

The more you dither and angst in here, the more we're going to think one of two things.

1. You're too far in the closet to ever step up and make a move, So - nothing will ever happen.

2. You're too afraid of rejection to ever step up and make a move. So - nothing will ever happen.

After awhile, there's no more advice left, we don't know if he's interested, all we have is your interpretation of the situation, and for all we know, you could be completely mistaken about any number of important factors.

The only person who can answer the question is him, and if you never make your intentions crystal clear, you'll never know, and there's nothing left to say.

Good luck.

 

[TX-Beau]

Some of your posts read like you're trying to convince us he's interested, but really, it doesn't matter to any of us. It's not really useful throwing up a thousand and one reasons why YOU think HE'S interested if that's all you ever do.

This has no impact on anyone in here, and at some point one or the other of you will have to take a risk if you want to get anywhere at all.

Otherwise, all of this is just academic.

 

[bankside]

"I know, right" means "yeah it sucks that I'm always working. FML."

And then you did the right thing, which is just asking to hang out with him anyway. We already know his life sucks because he works so much, which explains a) why he doesn't get back to you right away and b) why he has to check next week's schedule.

But if he wanted to see you a lot he would have said probably something more like "Yeah I really want to see you but I have to check my schedule first. I'll let you know."

Or maybe he does want to see you but he's "Playing it cool." Why would he be "playing it cool?" Probably because he comes on to JUB and says "Hey this hot straight guy might be asking me out but I'm not sure he's into me. What do I say?"

And then people say "Wow that sounds really hot. Don't scare him off. Play it cool. Tell him you have to check your schedule." And then another thread is born about how to get a straight guy into bed.

So, maybe he's into you or maybe he's not, but none of us can probably help you figure it out. My advice is, reach down, check for balls, and just do what you think is best when you see the chance.

 

[TX-Beau]

Well, what are you so afraid of doing "in the heat of the moment," that's so foolish? Dry hump his leg? Do you drink excessively?

Why not just say this to him:

"...hey, I like you a lot. i find you attractive. What do you think?..."

That's not over the top, nor foolish, nor stalkerish.

It takes a lot of guts in the beginning when you ask someone out, because the fear of rejection hasn't been mitigated by experience. Even when you have a lot of experience it's still in there a little bit.

But in the end, you can be that guy who never goes after what he wants, and regrets it for the rest of his life, or you can be the guy that did go after what he wanted, and no matter how it turned out, at least had the satisfaction of knowing he wasn't scared to act.

It's always easier to do nothing, but then you usually get nothing, which is safe, and status quo, but ultimately leaves you alone.

Another part of this might be, that you don't want to say anything because you're not that comfortable with yourself. Don't know, but if you've never told anyone about yourself, that's definitely a possibility.

It all comes down to how badly you want him, and how much courage you have to do what's necessary to get him. It's still possible that he's not interested, but if you're more afraid of asking and revealing your same sex attraction - then getting turned down; or if you're more afraid of rejection, than you are of asking him out, maybe you aren't all that into him.

The closet thing will trump attraction, and will cause you to make a thousand and one justifications about why it's more prudent to be silent, which is an issue with yourself only you can gauge.

The other, well, that's just fear.

Again, how badly do you want him? What are you willing to do to get him?

Answer that to yourself.