The Original Gay Porn Community - Free Gay Movies and Photos, Gay Porn Site Reviews and Adult Gay Forums

  • Welcome To Just Us Boys - The World's Largest Gay Message Board Community

    In order to comply with recent US Supreme Court rulings regarding adult content, we will be making changes in the future to require that you log into your account to view adult content on the site.
    If you do not have an account, please register.
    REGISTER HERE - 100% FREE / We Will Never Sell Your Info

    PLEASE READ: To register, turn off your VPN (iPhone users- disable iCloud); you can re-enable the VPN after registration. You must maintain an active email address on your account: disposable email addresses cannot be used to register.

  • The Support & Advice forum is a no-flame zone.
    The members offering support and advice do so with the best intention. If you ask for advice, we don't require you to take the advice, but we do ask that you listen and give it consideration.

What does it mean to be "out"?

Kids seem to be coming out at younger and younger ages. What do you guys think about this? Remember the boy not too long ago who was shot because he was out in school? He was very effeminate and had a crush on the boy who shot him. He was only in middle school, maybe even elementary school, I dont remember. Do you think children this young could/should deal with sexuality issues?
 
thiskidd24 said:
Lube & Lex

Like I said earlier, I have been a student my whole life and I haven't had more than small part time jobs. So my opinion is mostly based on what I have seen & heard. Would you guys mind sharing a little about your experiences?
Click to expand...
Well, what have you seen & heard?

For me, there's not much to say. I'm in a fairly liberal state in a liberal metropolitan area. When I came out 2 years ago... nothing happened. Nothing. I was so disappointed, LOL. I was expecting drama or something, I guess. :-) Nobody said anything. My family was totally OK with it (they would not have been 20 or 25 years ago, that's for sure). My friends were unmoved. My coworkers were a little surprised, but no drama there. Of course it helps that I'm a middle-aged man who was married 14 years. It wasn't like people would say "Are you sure?"! Obviously, I had plenty of experience with women by then. (Which also made it more embarassing for me to come out.)

So I thought: Did everyone know? Probably not. Did they suspect all those years? Probably. Look at my signature. Every closeted guy thinks he's so straight-acting and "no one knows". Don't kid yourself. Especially nowadays. People are more attuned to gays not necessarily being lisping, limp-wristed twinks. (In fact, there are a surprising number of Bears in my industry: IT/Information Technology).
 
The main reason why I brought this up is because awhile ago I got in contact with an old acquaintance from high school who has been persistent about figuring out my sexuality. I always figured he was gay, but I never asked, never cared. He told me that he was so i finally told him, i was hesitant because in high school he was really gossipy, but i cant really care any less now.

He told me that he was wondering about who the closeted guys were from high school (alluding to my sexuality). It just sounded funny hearing that he referred to me as closeted when people knew about me, just not the majority of the school, including him. So it just made me question what it meant to be "out", since one of the common conventions for the term is gays that are "obvious". Being out obviously encompasses more than that. ;)
 
>>>Like I said earlier, I have been a student my whole life and I haven't had more than small part time jobs. So my opinion is mostly based on what I have seen & heard. Would you guys mind sharing a little about your experiences?

Again, not much to say. I was a bit scared to come out to my parents, as they are both quite religious, but both took it extremely well. They've met my partner, love him to death, and accept him as part of the family.

At work, I never actually said "I'm a homosexual" to anybody, but then again, I didn't have to. When my partner came by to pick me up, I introduced him as "Pubert, my boyfriend". They all said hello, nice to meet you. :) I won't get into the "public eye" thing much except that I freely mention things like my partner and being at Gay Pride Fest in interviews and bios and such.

Is it obvious I'm gay? I don't know. I don't think so, but really, it doesn't matter. I've found that after they're told, suddenly, it's obvious. :)

Lex
 
G-Lexington said:
>>>
Is it obvious I'm gay? I don't know. I don't think so, but really, it doesn't matter. I've found that after they're told, suddenly, it's obvious. :)

Lex
Click to expand...

I find that to be true a lot too. People who had no clue like to say, "Like anyone would think you're not!" Then you turn to them and say, "You didn't before you were told," and then they turn back around and get sheepish.

I think of it as the "Where's Waldo" game. Once you know where Waldo is, you can close the book and open it right back up and it's obvious where he is. Once someone knows you're gay, they can look back and suddenly link all kinds of things to you being gay, even if half of those things have nothing to do with it.
 
I think out is, like it has already been said, when you don't feel the need to hide it anymore. I don't introduce myself as "Hi, I am Chris, and I am a homosexual" This isn't AA, you know? But if someone asks, I am not going to hide it. Actually had a friend ask me, after he heard I was gay, and I replied with "Would it make a difference if I was?" and he replied with No, and that was that
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top