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what happened to our friendship??

H

hhoiffk2004

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ok. i met this guy online in a gay site. anyway, we started messaging each other and felt attracted to him in a friendly way. months later we decided to meet. i live in sydney australia and he lives in a country area where it takes more than an hour to get to sydney.

it felt nice that he came all the way from his area just to see me for 15mins coz i just came from work and it was already late at nite. anyway, we started messaging each other almost everyday. i didnt realise that i would find a friend in a gay chat site epsecially if that site is only for people wanting sex.

anyway, we started hanging out until i slowly drift away from my old friends (besides they have their own lives anyway and they are always busy) until he became the friend the i hang out the most. this lasted for more than a year. he usually drives all the way from his area to my area in sydney just to hang out with me. i trust him and he trusts me (as far as i know he does).

until one day we decided to meet up he messaged me hes coming to my place so we can watch a movie. and i said "i wasnt ready yet, give me 30mins". he replied "im not there yet, ill still drive there for an hour". so i felt relieved so i took my time. i did some other stuff before i took a shower (i usually take a shower for 30mins.) i didnt realise an hour and a hald has passed. i checked my fone and it had 3missed calls and 1message from him saying that he waited for me for 30mins but i wasnt replying so he went back home.

i felt guilty coz it takes him ages to drive just to see me but i didnt show up on time. it was also hot day and i imagined he waited for me inside his car feeling really exhausted and hot. i tried messaging and calling him but ever since then he hasnt replied. im used to messaging him everyday then all of a sudden my friend duznt wanna communicate with me anymore. i feel really sad and i miss him :(

do u guys have anything to say or maybe suggestions so i can be friends with him again??
 
Maintaining friendship is a responsibility we all should not take lightly. It helps to pay attention to time and being on time. He seems like a wonderful person, and hopefully the friendship is salvageable. Contact him again and let him know you will not keep him waiting out in the cold and BE ON TIME. I cannot think of anything more logical than this one here.
 
Horschallen said:
Maintaining friendship is a responsibility we all should not take lightly. It helps to pay attention to time and being on time. He seems like a wonderful person, and hopefully the friendship is salvageable. Contact him again and let him know you will not keep him waiting out in the cold and BE ON TIME. I cannot think of anything more logical than this one here.
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thanks for ur response.

we have been hanging out for a year, that was the first time it happened. and i didnt do it on purpose, i just dont know if he knew that.

and also how can i talk to him if hes not trying to communicate with me.
 
Well, you just never know.

The best you can do is ensure that you apologized, and give him his space. If it is something that rarely happened in the past, then he should be able to let it go and understand, however, if this is something that is still bugging him and you have already apologized, you have done what you could.

Also, you don't know what else is going on in the rest of his life - perhaps he has his own personal stuff or issues to deal with, and he is not in the mode in which he feels like communicating much. You just never know, but sometimes, people also need their space at times.

I know that it is hard, but you need to try to let it go also and try to go about some of your other daily routines and hang with other friends and hopefully at some point, you will reconnect.

The one sad thing in life though, is sometimes friendships do fall out of place in life, not to the fault of either party, but just because of cicumstance or life change. You also need to accept that this might be a possibility.
 
I'll just say that may be the first time YOU did it to him but it may not have been the first time it has happened to him. who knows. maybe he is busy. If he wants to talk he'll talk. nothing you can do really but try to be there when it happens...without stalking him. hehe
 
I'd go with what everyone else said. Apologize and make it known you understand how rude that was and how he went out of his way to come see you.

And maybe you should offer to go out to his place since it sounds like he was always the one coming to meet you?
 
If he won't answer your calls, and he means this much to you, go all hollywood on his ass and track him down and visit him.
 
finbar said:
The soultion is simple if he wont answer your calls ... VISIT HIM and say ur sorry ... he's come to you for the past year
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ive been to his area twice actually and hes been to mine but weve never been inside each others houses. the thing is, our friendship is kinda discreet. not totally discreet though.

its because we met at a gay chat site and once somebody asks us how we met, were screwed as we are both closeted bi.

this means that i dont know exactly where he lives but i know his area. what i have been thinking in the past few days is to actually just go to the beach near his town because he is always there anyway. and hopefully just bump into him which is more unlikely to happen but thats the only way i can think of so i can talk to him personally.

any other suggestions guys??
 
Yeah, quit the "discrete" game. That was fine for the 1950s, but for 21st century Sydney, it seems a bit outdated.

Other than that, go to the beach and see if you can find him. And leave your pride at home. This isn't the time for playing the "it's your fault for misunderstanding" game. Remember how much you like him, how much you miss him, and if you find him, tell him that.

Lex
 
i have a question to u guys.

before i go to his area, should i message him to let him know i will be there. there is a chance he mite show up if i tell him or should i just leave it by chance and hopefully surprise him??? coz he works in shifts and i dunno maybe he has work that day. coz he goes to the beach usually on his days off.
 
hey guys i actually have good news!

well yesterday around 3am i couldnt sleep and all i think about was what ive done to him. anyway he picked it up but didnt say anything and just hung up so i thought maybe he really duznt wanna talk to me anymore. i fell asleep and the next morning he messaged me saying he misses me and stuff and hes over the stuff ive done.

we went to gym today, and also watched a movie. im just really happy rite now that hes back. this week im planning to go to his area just hang out.

thanks guys for all your suggestions and comments!!!
 
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