Spiff
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What I Did
- Thread starter Spiff
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ah well their isnt much u can do but talk to him.
good luck thou, and that still was a mean thing to do, but we aren't perfect , i know ive done stuff i still regret but thats the way the cookie crumbles.
hope things get sorted out
good luck thou, and that still was a mean thing to do, but we aren't perfect , i know ive done stuff i still regret but thats the way the cookie crumbles.
hope things get sorted out
cliffdweller
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My initial reaction is: Bed. Made. Lie.
If you're so impulsive that you can't keep yourself from doing things like that, you might want to see someone about it.
If you're so impulsive that you can't keep yourself from doing things like that, you might want to see someone about it.
Sigma-taylor-E
JUB Addict
Wait..You hardly knew him and you did that! Impulsive? I would punch you in the face!
This is a no flame zone, so I can't accurately state what I think about this, so I will refrain.
No understanding from me, sorry.
No understanding from me, sorry.
Halifaxboy8
Porn Star
(five second face)
Ok. First off, you know you did a shitty thing. Just because someone did that to you a while back doesn't mean you have to put that out there again to someone else. When that person did a similar thing on your FB page, how did that make you feel? What degree of humiliation and rage did you feel, coupled with having to explain to your family regarding the fallout of that event. You really thought it was a good idea to expose someone else to that?
You might want to see a counselor regarding your jealousy issues. If someone not contacting you pushed you into this magnitude of a reaction, then there's a problem. Were you drinking or high when you did this? If so, do you find you are only this impulsive when you are under the influence? That might be another thing to look at if those answers were "yes".
Ok. First off, you know you did a shitty thing. Just because someone did that to you a while back doesn't mean you have to put that out there again to someone else. When that person did a similar thing on your FB page, how did that make you feel? What degree of humiliation and rage did you feel, coupled with having to explain to your family regarding the fallout of that event. You really thought it was a good idea to expose someone else to that?
You might want to see a counselor regarding your jealousy issues. If someone not contacting you pushed you into this magnitude of a reaction, then there's a problem. Were you drinking or high when you did this? If so, do you find you are only this impulsive when you are under the influence? That might be another thing to look at if those answers were "yes".
sexualdemon
On the Prowl
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He is going to either:
A) thank you for forcing him to come out. (Highly unlikely)
or
B) to beat the crap out of you.
Watch yourself.
A) thank you for forcing him to come out. (Highly unlikely)
or
B) to beat the crap out of you.
Watch yourself.
bankside
JUB 10k Club
What happened here was that you missed a golden opportunity to be let down easy.
You met. He didn't want to pursue it, possibly realizing that you wanted different things, possibly thinking you wouldn't see eye to eye with him about sexuality. And he let it drop, and moved on.
You didn't. And you felt entitled to pursue it, which is where you missed the golden opportunity to move on yourself.
People don't owe it to you to be compatible with you or to find a way to make it work with you just because you give them the privilege of being noticed by you.
So you say you know what you did was wrong, but then act as though your explanation of all the events leading up to it will act as a justification, as though we're supposed to say "Ohhhhhhh.....That's what happened. Now I see why."
Well, I don't see why. There is no excuse for staying in this guy's life when you don't have a connection. And choosing a crappy way to involve yourself in his business does not make it a "connection."
If I were him, I would not be having a chat with you, I would be serving a restraining order on you. And just to be clear, I don't even relate to the way this guy dates or leads his social life or any of the scandalous things he gets up to, whatever that is. But I have met guys like that and we figure each other out, and go on our merry way because we realize we had no connection. We didn't try to mess up each other's lives.
So at this point what's my advice? Apologizing would be pretty meaningless. I'd block him, and have nothing to do with him again, and never mention his name in your social circles again. And never do anything like this ever again. And it would probably be doing both of you a favour.
You met. He didn't want to pursue it, possibly realizing that you wanted different things, possibly thinking you wouldn't see eye to eye with him about sexuality. And he let it drop, and moved on.
You didn't. And you felt entitled to pursue it, which is where you missed the golden opportunity to move on yourself.
People don't owe it to you to be compatible with you or to find a way to make it work with you just because you give them the privilege of being noticed by you.
So you say you know what you did was wrong, but then act as though your explanation of all the events leading up to it will act as a justification, as though we're supposed to say "Ohhhhhhh.....That's what happened. Now I see why."
Well, I don't see why. There is no excuse for staying in this guy's life when you don't have a connection. And choosing a crappy way to involve yourself in his business does not make it a "connection."
If I were him, I would not be having a chat with you, I would be serving a restraining order on you. And just to be clear, I don't even relate to the way this guy dates or leads his social life or any of the scandalous things he gets up to, whatever that is. But I have met guys like that and we figure each other out, and go on our merry way because we realize we had no connection. We didn't try to mess up each other's lives.
So at this point what's my advice? Apologizing would be pretty meaningless. I'd block him, and have nothing to do with him again, and never mention his name in your social circles again. And never do anything like this ever again. And it would probably be doing both of you a favour.
nfgrls
Porn Star
He is going to either:
A) thank you for forcing him to come out. (Highly unlikely)
or
B) to beat the crap out of you.
Watch yourself.
prob choice B .. lol thats what I would do... next time get the hint that hes not that into you
sexualdemon
On the Prowl
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Exactly. you probably just ruined this guys choice to come out and he out of the blue asks to meet you. Might i suggest you avoid dark alleys and go for crowded well lit places.
mbamike
A Total Bottom
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So basically, you have outed him to his family. You sound like a douchbag to me! 
You did wrong and you know you did wrong! 
Read the "Spying on roommate" thread in the Memorial Gardens forum. This kind of shit can have serious consequences. Don't be surprised if he beats the shit out of you. That is ashame too. I remember you have such a pretty face too!
You did wrong and you know you did wrong! Read the "Spying on roommate" thread in the Memorial Gardens forum. This kind of shit can have serious consequences. Don't be surprised if he beats the shit out of you. That is ashame too. I remember you have such a pretty face too!
Just_Believe18
of the 99%
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Actually, I think this guy may be messaging you now that is completely unrelated to what happened. When he sent that message to you wanting to catch up, he might not even know what happened yet.
What did you was terrible and violates every unspoken code of conduct in the gay community. However, you know that, so there's no point making you feel worse with my own words.
As for advice, you need to meet him. This is your opportunity to apologize and make up for what you did. He has every right to be angry at you and swear at your face. You owe him that, and hopefully this life lesson will teach you that everyone has the right to reject someone they're not interested in. It is no business of yours to be vengeful or vindictive of being rejected.
Meet him somewhere public, by the way.
What did you was terrible and violates every unspoken code of conduct in the gay community. However, you know that, so there's no point making you feel worse with my own words.
As for advice, you need to meet him. This is your opportunity to apologize and make up for what you did. He has every right to be angry at you and swear at your face. You owe him that, and hopefully this life lesson will teach you that everyone has the right to reject someone they're not interested in. It is no business of yours to be vengeful or vindictive of being rejected.
Meet him somewhere public, by the way.
What you did is one reason why we can't get along on this planet, I am not going to judge you, that solves nothing. What I'd like you to do is realise it was wrong and I mean really mean it, and tell him, even if he gets pissed take it like a man and don't do anything back, remember you caused it, you never know he might forgive if he thinks you love him.
Georgiadude
JUB Addict
you do something like that to him and he just happens to email out of the blue and wants to meet. yeh. sounds like a great idea. especially after he ignored you. there's no doubt in my mind he knows what you did and there isn't a chance in hell I'd meet up with him.
Having said that....Your lucky this is a no flame zone. You'd be burned at the steak by now. unbelievable.
Steven.
Having said that....Your lucky this is a no flame zone. You'd be burned at the steak by now. unbelievable.
Steven.
Perhaps you should reread all your threads you've started and see if you notice a trend. If so, I think you should be able to figure out what's next.
http://www.justusboys.com/forum/search.php?searchid=10044732
http://www.justusboys.com/forum/search.php?searchid=10044732
LittleDove
all my angels appear
Rather than address the specific issue, I'd like to glance at the more basic one. In real life, you spent roughly an hour with this person, by your admission. This wasn't a situation where he did some horrendous wrong to you after you'd invested years in a relationship with him. You spent an hour with him, in real time.
Your reaction was way, way, way out of line, and way, way, way over the top. You spend an hour with a guy, and things don't work out for whatever reason ... well, you walk away perhaps a bit ruefully and a little bit sad, but you don't go out of your way to fuck him over every which way you can.
And you have a history of doing things like this, from what you say. You note you're 'impulsive' and can be 'really mean'.
Please get some help, and please look into anger management. Please do that before you progress from merely hurting people emotionally to hurting them physically, if you haven't already crossed that line.
Your reaction was way, way, way out of line, and way, way, way over the top. You spend an hour with a guy, and things don't work out for whatever reason ... well, you walk away perhaps a bit ruefully and a little bit sad, but you don't go out of your way to fuck him over every which way you can.
And you have a history of doing things like this, from what you say. You note you're 'impulsive' and can be 'really mean'.
Please get some help, and please look into anger management. Please do that before you progress from merely hurting people emotionally to hurting them physically, if you haven't already crossed that line.
Sigma-taylor-E
JUB Addict
No, we understand. You don't understand yourself. Instead you play the victim card continuously and instead of telling the truth or apologizing..You..lied( a very bad one too)? Wow
bankside
JUB 10k Club
He did the right thing. BTW, when is the last time you put a real effort into listening to someone else and talking with them until you really understood their situation?
TX-Beau
FEAR THE LIBERAL DETENTE!
You are a drama addict. To the point where I can't tell what stories you post are true and what stories are exaggerated and what stories are deliberately incendiary.
Anyone who needs attention that much - needs the kind of help we can't provide in here.
See a professional.
Anyone who needs attention that much - needs the kind of help we can't provide in here.
See a professional.
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