What i should do?

[TotallyLostatLife]

Hello.
There's no many places like "gay forums" and i see this is a pretty active comunnity, so i think i will give a shot and expose what is my "problem" and what i should do.
So a little context about myself, I'm 28, Gay and from Chile. I have no boyfriend, alone as fuck with one or two friends.

So it was December 25, Christmas is gone, my family just ended with the gift giving and pretty much everyone is set free to do whatever they want, i was not really in the mood of anything so i was preparing my self to get some rest when my cellphone rings, it was a Grindr notification, i check and it's a guy asking for a fuck, he is alone and wanted a partner to have some sex. Dude is 100% what a i want in a man, femenine, chubby, good legs... hot (in my own opinion)

So i decided to speak with him and we finally agree to do it, so i went to his place, it was close to my house so in 5 minutes i was already in the house.
We speak a little, dude just give me and hiv test so he wanted to be sure, i ask if he also tested negative, he say yes and wanted to give me proof, i say nah and just go own with the test.
I tested negative, so basically we have sex all night, i can say it, it was the best sex i've had in years, dude was fucking hot and we share a lot in common. I'm Top and he was happy to bottom, like videogames and retro consoles and we had a good chat about anything. I didn't meet anybody like him in years.

So is 6 PM, dude just get tired and want to get some rest, he was on MDMA (i didn't mention this earlier, and maybe is somewhat important, sorry) and high (pot) me also, high, my cock didn't wanted anymore action, i was tired too so we just said goodbye, i kiss him and went to my house, i text when i get that it was amazing.

Didn't get a response for all day, at 9 P.M i wanted to check if he was fine and send him a voice note where i express the desire to see him again, because was fucking amazing. Dude response was icy, he told me he was fine, felt a little pain on the hips and he's open to every weekend, no invitation, no asking me if i was well too, fuck.

So what i should do? I think i have two paths.
One is just ignore it and get it that maybe i'm not his type or anything (dude in his grindr profile was asking for someone to have sex and maybe a fuckfriend)
Or i just text him on Friday to see if he's on for another round in the Weekend.

Maybe i misunderstand what he wanted in the first place...

I will be reading your responses, be total confident, if you need to tell me i'm a shit, do it, i will not be offended.
Thanks for reading this wall of text!

 

[KaraBulut]

It's hard to know what someone wants when they aren't telling you. But that is a red flag among many red flags around this entire scenario.

The other red flags: party-and-play (PNP), getting an HIV test before sex (wise, but a sign that he does this a lot) and that this whole thing happened on Christmas day when people are normally spending time with friends and family.

It sounds like you are wanting friends or friends-with-benefits or possibly someone to date.

It sounds like this guy was looking for a body to fill his hole. The next time he's lonely or horny or high, you'll probably hear from him again.

 

[TotallyLostatLife]

It's hard to know what someone wants when they aren't telling you. But that is a red flag among many red flags around this entire scenario.

The other red flags: party-and-play (PNP), getting an HIV test before sex (wise, but a sign that he does this a lot) and that this whole thing happened on Christmas day when people are normally spending time with friends and family.

It sounds like you are wanting friends or friends-with-benefits or possibly someone to date.

It sounds like this guy was looking for a body to fill his hole. The next time he's lonely or horny or high, you'll probably hear from him again.

Thanks for your response.
Yeah the HIV test was you know, something strange but wise as you said, dude was alone at Christmas day, he told me his family don't like him pretty much for his sexuality (he's bi) and i found that pretty sad, even for Christmas, but i guess i need to take some comentaries with a little touch of salt, because maybe the dude just told his family to go without him for hosting. I also asked if i was the first and he told me he speaked with someone but the other guy just ghost him.

Yeah, you are right, i'm looking for someone to date more than FWB.

It sounds like this guy was looking for a body to fill his hole. The next time he's lonely or horny or high, you'll probably hear from him again.

I hope so, sex was amazing so i will say yes if i hear ya from him again. But i think i need to manage myself to just fill the rol and not overthinking very much.

 

[KaraBulut]

Thanks for your response.
Yeah the HIV test was you know, something strange but wise as you said, dude was alone at Christmas day, he told me his family don't like him pretty much for his sexuality (he's bi) and i found that pretty sad, even for Christmas, but i guess i need to take some comentaries with a little touch of salt, because maybe the dude just told his family to go without him for hosting. I also asked if i was the first and he told me he speaked with someone but the other guy just ghost him.

The holidays are rough for a lot of people- the days are getting shorter, another new year is looming and for people who don't have good relationships with their families, it just adds to the feeling of depression and loneliness.

It does sound like the guy was down and was looking for a little PNP to distract him from being alone on a holiday.

Yeah, you are right, i'm looking for someone to date more than FWB.

I hope so, sex was amazing so i will say yes if i hear ya from him again. But i think i need to manage myself to just fill the rol and not overthinking very much.

Both things can be true- that you can be looking for a relationship but also filling no-strings-attached (NSA) holes that want to be filled while you're still looking.

Just make sure you're clear in your head about which is which. This guy is more than likely looking for random NSA booty-calls and it's probably better to not expect anything more than the random "Qué haces? Vamos a pasar el rato." or "Estas despierto?" at midnight from this guy.

 

[TotallyLostatLife]

The holidays are rough for a lot of people- the days are getting shorter, another new year is looming and for people who don't have good relationships with their families, it just adds to the feeling of depression and loneliness.

It does sound like the guy was down and was looking for a little PNP to distract him from being alone on a holiday.


Both things can be true- that you can be looking for a relationship but also filling no-strings-attached (NSA) holes that want to be filled while you're still looking.

Just make sure you're clear in your head about which is which. This guy is more than likely looking for random NSA booty-calls and it's probably better to not expect anything more than the random "Qué haces? Vamos a pasar el rato." or "Estas despierto?" at midnight from this guy.

Bro, i feel bad for him, why some families just suck?

I don't think i will expect anything, dude just don't text me anything after the last message. Or maybe in the weekend he's gonna text me, but i will follow what you said and just expect just NSA encounters with this dude.

Thanks again for your response, if others want to add something, your own experience, do it, i will read all of u!

 

[KaraBulut]

Bro, i feel bad for him, why some families just suck?

That's not a question with an easy answer... or a brief one.

But the important thing is that, as an adult, everyone is responsible for their own behavior and their own decisions.

Some LGBT people with awful families find their own "chosen family". Other LGBT people with awful families continue the punishment with drinking, drugging and bad choices.

Hopefully he will find his way out.

 

[TotallyLostatLife]

Hello, it's me again. Time for a update.
So yeah, you were totally right @KaraBulut this guy only wants sex and also a fuckbuddy of somesorts, so i decided to talk to him first on 26 of December, just to see if he wanted another go with me, he said yes and that meeting will be on that weeks Saturday.

Thinks went really smooth, the conversation was flowing in a good way and he also send me a pack of photos, so there was really interest i think.

There was some strange things like saying "I want to see your truly potential" which i find strange, because i fucked this guy on Christmas really hard and all night.

He also ask me to consume some Viagra, which i didn't say no and grab some pills for the task.

So the meeting day was closer, and then a change in plans happen, the meeting day will be on New Year Eve. I didn't see any problem with that so will be.

The day comes and obviously my family was really angry at me because i just went to see somebody and not just stand there waiting for the new year.

So at 9:07 PM i was in his home, again, very good sex but also, was like an Endurance Test, because he never seems to be tired of fucking, still good time with this guy. He was also really sweet but i think this happens because he was on MDMA/Ecstassy.

I found him a little creppy that every encounter (2 at this time) he was on MDMA, i also ask for this and he told me he just use this in confedence places like his home.

I also ask about ourselves, what we are heading and he said just looking for sex and a fuckbuddy, I agree with that and finally rest my head about thinking and overthinking.

He told me also creepy stuff about his family but i found that is not really interesting to put this on a forum post, still, very creepy... (Not something illegal)
Also, dude wanted to see a movie together on wednesday but i don't know if he will be contacting me or anything.

So the night comes and we decided to sleep finally, guy was really sweet all the time, which change when maybe the MDMA hit stop

It is morning and the dude just stayed away from me in the bed, he was sleeping but didn't like anything like cuddles so he just grab my hand and throwed it. Didn't say anything.

Then he just go to the first floor of his parents house and sleep in another bed, again, he didn't say anything to me.

So it was 8:00 AM and i decided, ok, this guy does not want me here so i will go, at 9 AM i was ready to go.

I tried to awake him, which i found out he was outright ignoring me, so finally the guy gets that i want to go home and relase me. lol

I went home, i lost my keys and i just tell him that i get to home good and don't have my keys on me.

He told me he was gonna search for the keys and told me "Want to come to my house to retrive your keys?" Dude want another go and i was fucking tired, we fucked all night so i said, "Nah, i'm tired" then he just said something like "Well i tried" and then the conversation died up again.

So yeah, that's it, i don't know if this dude will hit on me again, seems to be very lonely. He also does not like to text.

Thanks again for reading my wall of text and to @KaraBulut for his answers.
I don't think will be futher updated on this one

 

[KaraBulut]

Sorry to hear that things didn't work out.... and sorry to hear that you lost time with your family to get caught up in the guy's problems.

 

[TotallyLostatLife]

Sorry to hear that things didn't work out.... and sorry to hear that you lost time with your family to get caught up in the guy's problems.

Nah don't worry mate, but thanks for your kind message.
It's also my own will to go and leave the family in a important matter like the New Year.

Peace

 

[MSG_Otter.w/Ardour]

Hey buddy, just read through this thread.
I hope you're doing well... sounds a bit like you were taken for a bit of a ride.
That was, like 4 months ago. Hope you have had better luck with finding what you're seeking.
Be safe. You've got this.

 

[TotallyLostatLife]

Hey buddy, just read through this thread.
I hope you're doing well... sounds a bit like you were taken for a bit of a ride.
That was, like 4 months ago. Hope you have had better luck with finding what you're seeking.
Be safe. You've got this.

Hi there!
Thanks for your kind message, about the guy I met on Christmas, he just blocked me and basically I moved on pretty quickly when that happened.
I'm now into trans women, of course there's place for guys but I don't date them anymore.

 

[MSG_Otter.w/Ardour]

Life happens, experience gained and paths followed. Best of everything for you. Be Blissful and Radiant!

 

[luckynumbah7]

Hi there!
Thanks for your kind message, about the guy I met on Christmas, he just blocked me and basically I moved on pretty quickly when that happened.
I'm now into trans women, of course there's place for guys but I don't date them anymore.

Pro-tip; do not under any circumstances tell a trans person you're into their 'group' specifically cuz it sounds fetishy, that's not a good beginning for a date of any kind.

Especially as there's both plenty of trans women with either vaginas or a dick they don't let anyone mess with. The trans women who would be happy to hear about or share their penis are so close to being in the negative numbers you wouldn't believe me even if I sent you the survey stats. It's low, lets put it that way; you'd undoubtably have better luck with gay guys all things considered. Best of luck either way.

 

[TotallyLostatLife]

Pro-tip; do not under any circumstances tell a trans person you're into their 'group' specifically cuz it sounds fetishy, that's not a good beginning for a date of any kind.

Especially as there's both plenty of trans women with either vaginas or a dick they don't let anyone mess with. The trans women who would be happy to hear about or share their penis are so close to being in the negative numbers you wouldn't believe me even if I sent you the survey stats. It's low, lets put it that way; you'd undoubtably have better luck with gay guys all things considered. Best of luck either way.

Not really, trans women are very different across continents, latinas for example, I had my own experiences about that and they are easy going most of the time, they know some man will hit on them just because they are trans so there's no big deal about that, most of the time those girls use those men who search them only because of fetishes, so is just like a Win-Win situation. Men pay, women gives.

Most of Chilean Trans Women are MtF and pretty much all have penises, they are really hot and most of them younger (20-26) and some go with hormones, there's few AGP situations, They are all hetero and always looking for men, some are lesbians or t4t but they are just a minority if you do the proper investigation.

In dating terms, I never really touch the "Trans" topic when I'm dating one and just use fem pronouns most of the time, trans sex in my own experiences and my own opinion is more hot than gay sex, somehow I liked more compared to just fucking guys. I still like that but Trans put me on other stage really, I'm not saying Gay Sex is boring but Trans Sex is pretty much different in terms of feeling.

 

[luckynumbah7]

Not really, trans women are very different across continents, latinas for example, I had my own experiences about that and they are easy going most of the time, they know some man will hit on them just because they are trans so there's no big deal about that, most of the time those girls use those men who search them only because of fetishes, so is just like a Win-Win situation. Men pay, women gives.

Most of Chilean Trans Women are MtF and pretty much all have penises, they are really hot and most of them younger (20-26) and some go with hormones, there's few AGP situations, They are all hetero and always looking for men, some are lesbians or t4t but they are just a minority if you do the proper investigation.

In dating terms, I never really touch the "Trans" topic when I'm dating one and just use fem pronouns most of the time, trans sex in my own experiences and my own opinion is more hot than gay sex, somehow I liked more compared to just fucking guys. I still like that but Trans put me on other stage really, I'm not saying Gay Sex is boring but Trans Sex is pretty much different in terms of feeling.

What they tell you and what they tell their siblings are entirely different, fyi.

 

[TotallyLostatLife]

What they tell you and what they tell their siblings are entirely different, fyi.

Not tell, experience

 

[BiBtm64]

Hey buddy, I just read your original post and your updates. It's hard to understand someone like that guy. Maybe he only wanted to use you for your dick. Maybe he doesn't even know what he wants when he's spaced out on the drugs. It's a good thing that he blocked you and you have moved on. Good luck and all the best for your future experiences!

 

[TotallyLostatLife]

Hey buddy, I just read your original post and your updates. It's hard to understand someone like that guy. Maybe he only wanted to use you for your dick. Maybe he doesn't even know what he wants when he's spaced out on the drugs. It's a good thing that he blocked you and you have moved on. Good luck and all the best for your future experiences!

Hey there bro!
Topic just get off the rails by saying the T-word hehe.
Indeed, the dude just wanting my dick, he even fantasied of being used as a cum dump at my dispose, fetish games anyway.
I have a theory of why the dude was like that, basically this guy was really a psychopath or someone incapable of be empathic and that's why he use MDMA or Molly as his main drug, anybody who knows the effect of that drug will tell how people will feel close at raves. I say this because as I said, when the games were over and we come close to sleep on his bed, He just come down to his parents bed and sleep there, I was clueless at first because he didn't told me anything, I was waiting for him...

So basically he rally on the drug so he became more close/outgoing to people who were total unknows for him, invite them over his place and have a good fuck maybe.

My last update on the matter, I saw him near a shopping center, we even cross paths but he didn't even gave me a stare or something, he just ignored me haha.