What is an appropriate wedding gift?

[Ontariobear]

$100 is fine. If nothing on the registry seems like a gift you would want to give them then why not a gift card to some sort of bakery supply outlet to get exactly what they want.

 

[PreTTy PeTe]

What not to give I guess. But the bride was a bitch for her response

Wedding gift spat spirals out of control after bride demands to see receipt

“I’m not sure if it’s the first wedding you have been to, but for your next wedding … people give envelopes. I lost out on $200 covering you and your dates plate . … and got fluffy whip and sour patch kids in return. Just a heads-up for the future,” the bride texted her wedding guests.

 

[80KGold]

How about a double-sided dildo? Yes, even if they're straight, they might be kinky.

 

[80KGold]

“I’m not sure if it’s the first wedding you have been to, but for your next wedding … people give envelopes. I lost out on $200 covering you and your dates plate . … and got fluffy whip and sour patch kids in return. Just a heads-up for the future,” the bride texted her wedding guests.

What kind of bitch is she? Definitely a tacky bitch.

 

[darden]

What kind of bitch is she? Definitely a tacky bitch.

seriously

I admit, that's kind of a ridiculous gift and I'd expect anyone who's ever been to a wedding before to know better... but still, it's basic 3 year-old manners to be polite, say "thank you," and appreciate the thought behind a gift, even if you really don't like it.

 

[kindabikindagay]

get em a 100 dollar gift card for amazon or something..

 

[TickTockMan]

They are just doing a cheap simple wedding. They are paying for everything themselves so the wedding and everything that goes with it will be fairly basic.

 

[TickTockMan]

Well if they're free to follow their church in matters that don't concern them, then you are certainly free to follow your own conscience in such matters when they do concern you. You're under no obligation to defer to their incidental bigotry just because it is "their day."

It would give great insight into their way of thinking to know whether other members of your family will receive an invite extending to a guest, while you might only be invited to attend alone.

Anyway, if their views introduce limits on your familial connection, let that be reflected in your choice of gift.

First off the wedding is for my cousin’s daughter, so I think my second cousin. Secondly as I have said they are not really homophobic, they just slightly think queer people are a bit beneath straight people. They may even be for equal marriage for all I know. I do know they are becoming much more accepting, I just don’t know how much.

I suppose what bothers me the most about this is whether I am invited because they want me there, or if I was invited so I could give them a gift. People tend to try and use me for as much as they can get.


I don’t know. I am probably over thinking this.

 

[Ram]

Give cash.

 

[HunterM]

Great advice so far: $50 to $100 is fine.

Let me tell you what is NOT an appropriate wedding gift: a $50 hooker.

 

[TickTockMan]

Great advice so far: $50 to $100 is fine.

Let me tell you what is NOT an appropriate wedding gift: a $50 hooker.

What about a $150 anal hook?

 

[chrisrobin]

.
Once upon a time, my niece decided to stop calling me and other members of my immediate family for three years. Suddenly, wedding invitations appeared in our respective mailboxes. Interpretation: a cheap solicitation for gifts. Translation: you're not worthy enough to have any kind of relationship, but I'll condescend long enough to tolerate your wedding gifts. She got nothing from us.

 

[Axxess]

Dildos. One can never have too many dildos.

OR

Cash. The amount of which is directly proportionate to your closeness to said relative.

Or a dildo made out of cash...

 

[TickTockMan]

If your cousin is your first cousin, the daughter is your first cousin once removed.

Is that not the same thing as a second cousin? If not what is a second cousin?

If you don't know, it implies that either you are less political within the family about gay politics and rights, or that you simply aren't very close to these cousins.

I tend to keep my opinion to myself. Because of that we really don’t talk about it, but I do hear and see things. Also I have personal issues with her pastor and church so I really try not to talk about queer stuff around them. It may lead to an argument.

The fact that it IS an issue again implies that you are not close enough to these kin to have to worry about the level of gift. If you haven't been a relative who's talked by phone, kept up between holiday gatherings and the like, then you probably are just not close. As to the intent of the invitation, unless you KNOW that your cousins are materialistic and grasping, then every couple deserves the benefit of the doubt when sending an invitation to family members.

The way my family is my cousin that is getting married and I would be considered close. We get together when we can and stuff, we just don’t talk otherwise most of the time.

And oft-overlooked aspect of invitations by young people is the social ties and obligations that exist between the parents' generation. Your parents and her parents may have always sent one another graduation announcements and the like. It may not be about your generation, but about theirs.

You may be right. Honestly at this point I really don’t mind giving a gift either way. They are just starting out on their own with their son so I don’t mind giving them something to help them out.