What is considered 'too picky' when it comes to dating?

[Ephemeral]

A little vent from me...

I've been called picky by at least 6 of my friends. The reason they say this is because whenever they suggest a guy to me (either a stranger or an acquaintance), I almost instantly turn them down, either because of looks or personality.

Now before you go and say, "You are picky!", listen to this: I'm attracted to all races, nearly all sizes, don't even have a specific type of guy I go for. You can't always judge a book by its cover, but you can't be attracted to everyone. With some people you just know you aren't, so why bother? I just did not find the guys they suggested attractive. Also, the guys I've had serious crushes on were far from the conventional beauty (the most recent one being called 'hideous' by one of my best friends). To note, I've never had a relationship before or done anything sexual, a combination of lack of opportunities, interest, and a sheltered life.

Almost all of my friends have specific types they don't like, writing off entire races or sizes. One friend is insanely specific: white, redheaded, freckled, thuggish, college boys only.

So what gives? How am I picky when they aren't? What even constitutes as being picky anyway? Being selective? Having standards? Saying no? Your opinions are gladly welcomed.

 

[DigitalFudge]

One friend is insanely specific: white, redheaded, freckled, thuggish, college boys only.

So in other words he wants no one?



@ OP


You start getting "Picky" when you overlook someone for something that is pretty inconsequential.


He eats with his left hand, walks too fast, drives too slow, has a cluttered desktop (Computer desktop) ect ect ect

That is "Picky"

 

[Ephemeral]

So in other words he wants no one?

He bases this off his first boyfriend, which is far worse IMO.

 

[DigitalFudge]

He bases this off his first boyfriend, which is far worse IMO.

?!

He found someone just like that?

Well damn. This proves anything is possible.

 

[breakfast4sex]

damn, that friend of yours is really picky. but i have found one or two of those rarities at my school. but considering that 1 out of 20 guys is gay. then of course, he cant be anyone's type. so in put ting that all together, i guess it really is impossible. he's gonna through a lot of schools to find that.

 

[Ephemeral]

He met him in high school, dated for 2 years, then broke up with him senior year. The next guy he met that fit the criteria was in jail instead of college...

You've never been acquaintances with someone and then you have this blip in your brain where you realize that you find them attractive? The last guy that I met at school that I really liked caught me in that way.

I have. That's how one of my most serious crushes occurred. But I befriended him with the intent that he was a nice person to make the time go by in class with, not to date, or even become close friends. Yet, one day, he asked me a question and for no reason, I looked up at him and saw him in a new light. It was strange really.

 

[breakfast4sex]

that sounds really nice. it'd be nice if a friend became a boyfriend. but i dont see any of my friends as that.

 

[highwindcaleb]

picky is when you don't at least have a conversation with them. if you guys try to talk about a few different topics and you really don't seem to have anything in common then you need to part ways after you finish that movie or that dinner cause hell... you never know.

 

[MoufOfKhaos]

I don't know what picky is anymore, but I sure do know what hopelessly overloaded with stimuli is.

(I see too many guys come into my job that make me sad that i'm too shy and self-defeating to approach them and I assume they're straight anyway)

 

[Telstra]

you are too picky because you are too picky ...

 

[Puckzilla]

Meh, I don't think there is such a thing as too picky. If you're not interested in someone for whatever reason, you're just not interested. At the end of the day, it's your business and nobody else's.

 

[altlover85]

I think if being picky becomes irrational that's when it goes too far.

For example, if you won't date someone because he doesn't like to watch horror movies and you do, but you really like most everything else about him, you could be losing out on a good catch.

 

[wilbur33]

I look for a pulse - is that too picky?

 

[Puckzilla]

^ Now that's my kinda criteria!

 

[resonance]

You're picky if you're asking for a person 2 notches or more above you on the hotness scale.

 

[refujiunderground]

what are you looking for to begin with?

it sounds like you're suffering from virginitis, dude. even if a guy that you are attracted to were interested in you and let it known, you probably wouldn't know what to do or would turn him down out of fear. you gotta put in some work. you have to be a bit more open minded and so does your friend. don't be afraid. you obviously aren't looking for anybody if your friends are doing that for you.