Hi all, looking for some outside perspective.
I’m 40 — 6ft, bald, slightly overweight, bit of a geek. He’s 18, straight out of school, a temp colleague and semi-pro rugby player who looks a bit like Kit Connor. Quiet with everyone else, but talkative and animated with me. Early on, he’d ask lots of questions about me, extend conversations when I tried to leave, and was generally friendly — maybe just finding his feet. Then came a few unexpected flirty comments. One day he asked me to walk him to his car, and along the way said a few very kind things about me. All seemed innocent, if a little confusing. But then his rugby mates spotted us talking, and suddenly, through a colleague, I heard he didn’t want anything to do with me — apparently I was “following him around.” I gave him space.
About six weeks later, he started being friendly again — small flirty comments, though often followed by awkwardness and a quick exit. During a training session I led, he kept pretending to have computer problems just to get my attention, and whenever I spoke, he would just stop and stare at me. Eventually, I had a conversation with him about it all. He apologised for what he'd said to our colleague, initially claimed he’d never wanted to talk to me, but when I gently pointed out his behavior, he softened and admitted he’d led me on. He said he still wanted us to say hi in the corridors — though that confused me, given everything.
A month later, I walk into the break room — he’s there. I go to refill my water, and he follows me out, chatting as if nothing’s happened. I reminded him that he’d said he didn’t want to talk, and he said, “I just wanted to know how you are.” After that, he began initiating more conversations again — things like, “I haven’t seen you around for ages,” or “I looked into your office, but you weren’t there.” Once he even mentioned he reads all my work emails, even the ones not relevant to him. One evening I saw him outside a venue I frequent — he didn’t come in, just looked through the window, walked away, then returned with food.
To be honest, part of me feels a little uncomfortable — some of this seems like stalking — but another part thinks, well, he’s cute, maybe I should feel flattered?
Eventually management let him go (he was on a temp contract). I helped him sort out his emails and noticed he'd ignored most work comms — except mine. He’d opened nearly every email I’d ever sent, even irrelevant ones. Last week, he appeared outside the office just before my lunch break — he knew when I usually left. We chatted about him losing his job, how he felt a bit aimless. And in that moment, I felt like I had to address it. So I asked if he wanted to grab a drink. He looked awkward, didn’t reply, so I told him not to worry. He finally said he’d see me around, shook my hand, and left.
So — any idea what’s going on in this lad’s head? I feel like I’m being pulled in and pushed away on repeat.
I’m 40 — 6ft, bald, slightly overweight, bit of a geek. He’s 18, straight out of school, a temp colleague and semi-pro rugby player who looks a bit like Kit Connor. Quiet with everyone else, but talkative and animated with me. Early on, he’d ask lots of questions about me, extend conversations when I tried to leave, and was generally friendly — maybe just finding his feet. Then came a few unexpected flirty comments. One day he asked me to walk him to his car, and along the way said a few very kind things about me. All seemed innocent, if a little confusing. But then his rugby mates spotted us talking, and suddenly, through a colleague, I heard he didn’t want anything to do with me — apparently I was “following him around.” I gave him space.
About six weeks later, he started being friendly again — small flirty comments, though often followed by awkwardness and a quick exit. During a training session I led, he kept pretending to have computer problems just to get my attention, and whenever I spoke, he would just stop and stare at me. Eventually, I had a conversation with him about it all. He apologised for what he'd said to our colleague, initially claimed he’d never wanted to talk to me, but when I gently pointed out his behavior, he softened and admitted he’d led me on. He said he still wanted us to say hi in the corridors — though that confused me, given everything.
A month later, I walk into the break room — he’s there. I go to refill my water, and he follows me out, chatting as if nothing’s happened. I reminded him that he’d said he didn’t want to talk, and he said, “I just wanted to know how you are.” After that, he began initiating more conversations again — things like, “I haven’t seen you around for ages,” or “I looked into your office, but you weren’t there.” Once he even mentioned he reads all my work emails, even the ones not relevant to him. One evening I saw him outside a venue I frequent — he didn’t come in, just looked through the window, walked away, then returned with food.
To be honest, part of me feels a little uncomfortable — some of this seems like stalking — but another part thinks, well, he’s cute, maybe I should feel flattered?
Eventually management let him go (he was on a temp contract). I helped him sort out his emails and noticed he'd ignored most work comms — except mine. He’d opened nearly every email I’d ever sent, even irrelevant ones. Last week, he appeared outside the office just before my lunch break — he knew when I usually left. We chatted about him losing his job, how he felt a bit aimless. And in that moment, I felt like I had to address it. So I asked if he wanted to grab a drink. He looked awkward, didn’t reply, so I told him not to worry. He finally said he’d see me around, shook my hand, and left.
So — any idea what’s going on in this lad’s head? I feel like I’m being pulled in and pushed away on repeat.
