What is good hook-up eitquette?

[godson112]

I was reading that "Worst hookup experience" thread and as it happens, I am planning my first hook-up this weekend. I'm gonna be honest, I'm having a really bad dry spell at the moment and I know if I don't have sex soon, I'm going to go crazy. So I joined this website, I've been chatting to this really good looking 25 year old, showed me loads of pictures of him. He's really muscly, really good looking, everything I like. But I don't want my first hook-up (or any hook-up for that matter) to end up like anything from the other thread.

So he wants to see me on the weekend and I just wanna know generally, how does it work? I normally go out clubbing with my friends on weekends so I decided that I'll go out and get a few drinks first (not enough to make me a drunken wreck, just 2 or 3 to ease my inhibitions a bit because I think I'd be really nervous otherwise) and then call him to meet me or something.

So what advice can you give me?


(Oh and by 'dry spell', I'm talking 'no sex since Januray 2008 dry spell')

 

[boiseboy]

If you're meeting him at a public place first, you shouldnt have to worry about much.

The mistake I made was being so eager to hook up with a complete stranger that I didn't think about meeting them in a public place or at least talking a little more before planning to hook up.
But then again, that guy was a creeper anyways so I think it just comes with the territory. I guess in the long run hooking up can be pretty dangerous.

 

[grady26]

First rule: meet him some place public.

It there is a gay bar or a gay friendly restaurant in the area, those would be good as you can check each other out and carry on a conversation without fear.

Also, it will give you a chance to find out if he IS the guy in the pictures he shared, not some troll.

Then find a topic of interest you both share. It does not need be about sex, just some general topic.

Later you can introduce your sexuality, and see if he shares any of your thoughts, even fantasies.

Best of luck. But remember, that first meeting should be somewhere public.

Grady

 

[CudDULL]

Is it gonna be just you two alone?

Well if I were you first sign that something is not right walk away and don't deal with any bullshit. You are meeting a stranger so he shouldnt be too pushy and pressuring you to do anything unusual.

 

[SonOfSlobone]

I'd suggest setting up the meeting ahead of time, don't call him just before you want to see him -- he might not be available.

I also wouldn't mix it up with clubbing. Why not get together in the daytime? Agree to meet for coffee somewhere just to touch bases. That way, in case either one of you decides you're not interested, it's a lot easier to just smile, shake hands, and go your separate ways.

As for your own state of mind, I'd say don't put too much pressure on yourself. These types of "blind date" hookups are probably only successful less than half the time...

 

[godson112]

There are no rules of etiquette when it comes to "hook-ups".

I was hoping there'd be a reply like that

Well I'm gonna get his address off him, I already have his phone number, all of which I'm going to give to my friend.
We're meeting in town first, so that'll give us a chance to talk, a few drinks will loosen me up and get my coversational juices flowing (and more beyond I hope).

And I won't be meeting him alone, I'm going out with a friend and I'll make her be around when I meet him.

 

[Dduder]

What is good hook-up etiquette?

"Wanna fuck, biotch?"

"Fuck off, asshole."

"I'll give you 50 bucks and a ride on my Ford Taurus."

"Let's do this, stud muffin."



*Kidding...I've only had sex two times in my life.

 

[godson112]

"Wanna fuck, biotch?"

"Fuck off, asshole."

"I'll give you 50 bucks and a ride on my Ford Taurus."

"Let's do this, stud muffin."



*Kidding...I've only had sex two times in my life.

Ahahah!
If someone talked to me like that I'd be a bit turned on.

And don't worry about me getting shitfaced. After last time I went out I know I need to learn my limits.

 

[hotatlboi]

just don't think about it too much.

As long as you talked a bit before hand and feel comfortable, I'm sure it will go fine.

I don't even usually do the public place thing for hookups and I've never had a problem.

 

[godson112]

just don't think about it too much.

As long as you talked a bit before hand and feel comfortable, I'm sure it will go fine.

I don't even usually do the public place thing for hookups and I've never had a problem.

I'll ask him if he wants to have one quick drink with me but if he doesn't, then no biggy. I really do only want sex, and thats what he's said as well.
According to him he wants to "Suck me bone dry as soon as he sees me" although that'll be in a public street so he'll have to wait.

 

[saymyname]

1. Good hygiene

2. Good manners and conversation

3. Dress well

4. Self assurance

5. Don't latch on or look or act needy

6. Meet in public

7. Condoms

8. 2 or 3 drinks, don't get shitfaced

9. Relax, if it doesn't go well you'll have other dates

Are you serious? It's a hook up, not a date.

Meeting in public is a good idea, but not necessary. Drinks are an okay idea, but not necessary.

There are many ways you can go about hooking up. You can go directly to his place, or vice versa, if you're confident about how he looks and that there won't be any surprises. Have condoms and lube handy. You can either be really blunt and start making out with him after a few seconds of awkward small talk, or you can have a few drinks before. Don't get drunk. Even if you don't smoke, a cigarette after hooking up almost seems mandatory. Say thanks, if it was good suggest maybe you'll do it again sometime. Leave. It's easy.

 

[SonOfSlobone]

OK, I misunderstood a little. Usually the JUB guys want to go on dates -- it's actually kind of refreshing when somebody admits they're just looking for a hookup.

In that case, I wouldn't worry too much about etiquette. All you're really interested in is whether you're into each other. And one look will probably tell the story.

Only -- geez, don't bring a female friend, or any friend for that matter, to a hookup! That sends a very confusing message. You're a big boy now, you don't need "backup"...

 

[saymyname]

Wether it's hook up or a date doesn't matter. The fact is that he must certainly like the guy and should make a good impression. But let me break it down for you:

1. Good hygiene - No one wants to hook up with someone with smelly breath or b.o.

2. Good manners and conversation - Be an asshole and he may not hook up with you

3. Dress well - Most guys don't want to hook up with a bum

4. Self assurance - Self confidence is attractive. No one wants to hook up with someone who has self esteem issues

5. Don't latch on or look or act needy - No one wants to feel caged in, smothered or think the person won't ever leave

6. Meet in public - To be safe

7. Condoms - Because you don't want to catch an std

8. 2 or 3 drinks, don't get shitfaced - No one likes a drunk or someone they'll have to carry home or barfs all over your face

9. Relax, if it doesn't go well you'll have other dates - Yes, he will have other hook ups or dates. This guy isn't the last guy on earth. If he doesn't want to hook up after all, it shouldn't crush him.

See? It all applies wether it's a date or a hook up.

No, it doesn't. It sounds like you may have a lot of experience dating, but not hooking up. You don't differentiate between the two. Hooking up is spontaneous. It can be very blunt and blatant. You don't have to have good manners or conversation - a lot of the time people hooking up hardly even talk, dude. Dress well makes it sound like a date - sure, you should dress decently, but don't over dress because it's not a date. The point is that you're going there to take OFF your clothes and impress him with what's underneath! Other characteristics such as confidence, latching on or acting needy - these are DATING TIPS. Hooking up is about SEX, so emotional characteristics should not even be revealed, let alone worried about or noticed. I agree about the condoms and the few drinks, but not all the personal and emotional etiquette you mentioned. Hooking up can be very raw and dirty (not 'raw' as in unprotected) and that's what's fun about it.

 

[godson112]

OK, I misunderstood a little. Usually the JUB guys want to go on dates -- it's actually kind of refreshing when somebody admits they're just looking for a hookup.

In that case, I wouldn't worry too much about etiquette. All you're really interested in is whether you're into each other. And one look will probably tell the story.

Only -- geez, don't bring a female friend, or any friend for that matter, to a hookup! That sends a very confusing message. You're a big boy now, you don't need "backup"...

I'm not bringing her with me.
We're going out for drinks, then I'm ditching her to meet up with him. I'm just giving her all his details so if, god forbid, something goes wrong, she knows where I am.

And I'm glad people aren't ripping me to pieces about it. I know I'm being a bit wreckless but like I said, I'm fed up of not having sex, I'm leaving for uni in two weeks, I haven't had sex in a year and a half, I'm expecting lots (or at least some) at university and I don't want to go there being all rusty and crap at sex.