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what is passive aggressive?

nightmale

nightmale

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I'm not exactly sure about the word--passive aggressive. People say it means the opposite of aggressive, then why don't they just say passive?

A guy sent me a text msg saying he was way too passive aggressive and asked me to "take the lead."

I have also seen lots of people describing themselves on their profile as "passive aggressive".

Not quite sure what it means.
 
maybe passive is meant as bottom...

in the U.K. they say
attive : Top
passive : bottom
 
Passive-Agressive is like being mean only not directly. Like aggressive would be to hit someone full on in the face. Passive-Agressive would be smack em in the back of the head and run. That's the physical equivalent anyway. Some sarcasm is passive agreesive. Silent treatment is passive-agressive because you're being agreesive, but not openly.

It is NOT a good quality.
 
thephoenix said:
Passive-Agressive is like being mean only not directly. Like aggressive would be to hit someone full on in the face. Passive-Agressive would be smack em in the back of the head and run. That's the physical equivalent anyway. Some sarcasm is passive agreesive. Silent treatment is passive-agressive because you're being agreesive, but not openly.

It is NOT a good quality.
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Thats exactly what i figured when i first heard this expression, but why did this guy tell me he was way too passive aggressive and then asked me to take the lead. it doesn't make sense if he wanted to be mean to me indirectly. maybe he didn't get the right meaning of the expression.
 
Word for word what did the text say, sometimes the meaning gets lots in text messages.

Yeah passive agressive isnt a good thing, its the art of hurting somene in a very quiet indirect way.
 
nightmale said:
Thats exactly what i figured when i first heard this expression, but why did this guy tell me he was way too passive aggressive and then asked me to take the lead. it doesn't make sense if he wanted to be mean to me indirectly. maybe he didn't get the right meaning of the expression.
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Maybe he misused the phrase and meant he was "passive" meaning he wants u to do the action. Best to make a distinction so you can know to get away.
 
Interpersonal Behavior

Tries to please and fails

Aggression comes out in indirect ways

Sometimes agrees to do things for others and then doesn’t follow through

Often feels pressure to perform, and has expectation and fear of failure, procrastination

Also passive-aggressively defeats his own inner critic, so can’t discipline self

Sometimes acts out annoying behavior while not consciously knowing its impact on others.

Further info: http://www.earley.org/Patterns/passive_aggressive.htm

IT IS NOT A GOOD THING to have about you. It is extremely frustrating to have someone like this around you.

And this fellow saying he is P/A could also mean you will be responsible for the relationship and what happens and if it screws up, it will be your fault and he won't mind blaming you either. Perhaps you should RUN, Forest, RUN!
 
passive is a way of being too good about oneself, u let anyone decide wat to do and stuff

while aggressive is ur all out there, u get wats urs and u say wats n ur mind..wit or wit out judgement/conversation...
 
JayHew said:
And this fellow saying he is P/A could also mean you will be responsible for the relationship and what happens and if it screws up, it will be your fault and he won't mind blaming you either. Perhaps you should RUN, Forest, RUN!
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well thanks, i c. it seems most gay guys are passive aggressive. i have met a dozen guys who send me text msg--"do you wanna call me now?" "can you gimme a call now?" oh my god, why don't they just dial my number and gimme a call??? what the hell? they are really passive aggressive!!!
 
Wikipedia defines it this way:

Passive-aggressive behavior refers to passive, sometimes obstructionist resistance to following authoritative instructions in interpersonal or occupational situations. It can manifest itself as resentment, stubbornness, procrastination, sullenness, or repeated failure to accomplish requested tasks for which one is assumed, often explicitly, to be responsible. It is a defense mechanism and, more often than not, only partly conscious. For example, people who are passive-aggressive might take so long to get ready for a party they do not wish to attend, that the party is nearly over by the time they arrive. Alternatively, leaving notes to avoid face-to-face discussion/confrontation is another form of passive-aggressive behavior.

They go on to define Passive-aggressive personality disorder (also called negativistic personality disorder).

It is, indeed, not a pleasant thing to have to put up with. I doubt if someone would openly define themselves as passive-aggressive. I think your friend is misusing the term. It's up to you to decide what to do about it.
 
at first, I thought that the guy misused the term, but now that I think about it, he is trying to control Nightmale's behavior by manipulating the roles---"I am the not the hunter, but the object of desire" --- that does sound a little passive-aggressive.
 
BluesDog said:
I think about it, he is trying to control Nightmale's behavior by manipulating the roles---"I am the not the hunter, but the object of desire" --- that does sound a little passive-aggressive.
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No, I don't think he is THAT complicated. He is just an introverted, shy, renticent and reserved young guy who finds me intimedating for some reasons neither he nor I know. I guess maybe he himself doesnt really understand the meaning of passive aggressive. It he knew it was something bad, why would he describe himself using that expression?
 
A guy sent me a text msg saying he was way too passive aggressive and asked me to "take the lead."
Click to expand...

I love the irony. He defined it for you in his message.
 
It's simple really. The word passive is misused in a sexual context to describe the partner who is anally receptive. The passive aggressive is trying to convey that he is anally receptive, but isn't going to lie there inert, waiting for you to do all the work.

Bottoming, is similarly an inaccurate term.
 
This is what Dictionary.com says ...

Of, relating to, or having a personality disorder characterized by habitual passive resistance to demands for adequate performance in occupational or social situations, as by procrastination, stubbornness, sullenness, and inefficiency.
 
A guy sent me a text msg saying he was way too passive aggressive and asked me to "take the lead."

^^^^^^
Rareboy is correct, this is a perfect example of passive-aggressive behavior.

Passive - "I'm too passive to take the lead"
Aggressive - "So, I'm going to order you to take the lead"

Got it?
 
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