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What should i do about my mom?

Lewis1

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ok my mom has been lately getting on me about not challenging myself socially.
i have big trouble making friends so to speak. well i can make friends but i have trouble maintatining the friends. so my mom has been randomly asking. where are your friends? why arent you talking to girls? why dont you have a girlfriend? are you gay? just a whole bunch of shit. the reason she asks if i am gay is because she found my journal that i wrote about a homosexual experience and since then shes been bringing it up and everytime a gay topic comes up she kinda grills me. but in my classes ive made like 3 friends recently and currently 2 in the class i am in now. but i kinda dont talk to them much its like once the class ended we drifted away from each other or something and i didnt tell my mom about them because i dont want her seing that the friendships didnt last. also ive been attracted to a couple of the guy friends and i feel that if i tell her iam making male friends that she is gonna think i like them (more than friendly)

so what do i tell her
on the one hand i want to tell her that iam somewhat normal in making firends
on the other i dont want her being disapointed

i hope all this makes sense
 
Tell her that you are marching to your own drums. She'll have to get used to it sooner or later.

There is very little virtue in having loads of 'friends', if the sum of them is worth very little.

It is your life and you are calling the shots. Let her know that.

SC
 
It's one thing for a parent to be concerned for her son's social life. It's another to start worrying that if he spends time with a guy, that it's more than just as friends.

I'm assuming coming out to your mother is out of the question?

Lex
 
It's one thing for a parent to be concerned for her son's social life. It's another to start worrying that if he spends time with a guy, that it's more than just as friends.

I'm assuming coming out to your mother is out of the question?

Lex


theres been so much leading to me being gay but ive told her that iam over it

and i would probbaly be if i can find a girlfriend

so that would be a no lol
 
theres been so much leading to me being gay but ive told her that iam over it

and i would probbaly be if i can find a girlfriend

so that would be a no lol

Well, I guess that's all you can tell your mother. lol

If you're lying to yourself and her....well, I guess you'll just have to sort that out later, eh?
 
First, your mother knows. Not only do most mothers almost know instinctively, she has written evidence from you. You might verbally convince her that you're "over it" but no one *really* believes that...to wit, her constant grilling.

Second, finding a "girlfriend" will not make you straight. If you believe that, your mother is not the biggest issue here.

Third, at 21, you're entitled to run your own life. Pick and choose your friends as you see fit. You really don't owe anyone an explanation.

But, we really know this grilling about friends isn't about your happiness or social life, don't we? It's about a conversation your mother is dying to have with you about you--who you are, really. I suspect the nagging, torment, badgering--whatever you want to call it--will continue until you're upfront with her. Whether or not you choose to be is your business, but I suspect you won't be able to have it both ways.

Good luck.
 
First, your mother knows. Not only do most mothers almost know instinctively, she has written evidence from you. You might verbally convince her that you're "over it" but no one *really* believes that...to wit, her constant grilling.

Second, finding a "girlfriend" will not make you straight. If you believe that, your mother is not the biggest issue here.

Third, at 21, you're entitled to run your own life. Pick and choose your friends as you see fit. You really don't owe anyone an explanation.

But, we really know this grilling about friends isn't about your happiness or social life, don't we? It's about a conversation your mother is dying to have with you about you--who you are, really. I suspect the nagging, torment, badgering--whatever you want to call it--will continue until you're upfront with her. Whether or not you choose to be is your business, but I suspect you won't be able to have it both ways.

Good luck.

](*,) i hate it when i have to face truth
 
>>>i hate it when i have to face truth

But it kicks ass when you get on the other side. ..|

Lex
 
all she wants you to do is say the words. and it will be over with. if she has foudn your journal then she already knows and most likely has dealt with it on her end, and just wants you to be honest and open with her.
 
ok my mom has been lately getting on me about not challenging myself socially.
i have big trouble making friends so to speak. well i can make friends but i have trouble maintatining the friends. so my mom has been randomly asking. where are your friends? why arent you talking to girls? why dont you have a girlfriend? are you gay? just a whole bunch of shit. the reason she asks if i am gay is because she found my journal that i wrote about a homosexual experience and since then shes been bringing it up and everytime a gay topic comes up she kinda grills me.

Did she violate your privacy?


but in my classes ive made like 3 friends recently and currently 2 in the class i am in now. but i kinda dont talk to them much its like once the class ended we drifted away from each other or something and i didnt tell my mom about them because i dont want her seing that the friendships didnt last. also ive been attracted to a couple of the guy friends and i feel that if i tell her iam making male friends that she is gonna think i like them (more than friendly)

so what do i tell her
on the one hand i want to tell her that i am somewhat normal in making firends
on the other i dont want her being disapointed

i hope all this makes sense

Sounds like you and your mom may be … too close. Especially considering that you appear to be uncomfortable with her questions and how to answer them. Can you tell her, "I'm doing okay," and then start putting some distance, for the sake of your own privacy, between the two of you?

Who is your mom -- Marie Barone?
 
Hi,

I sort of know what your going through. I'm a pretty shy person and it always seems
down to someone else to make friends with me. I'm not out yet to anyone except
my mom, which wasn't a question of me telling her, she asked me and gave me
reasons why she thought so, I'm dreading the thought of telling the rest of my family
and friends but since iv been with my bf i really want to so that i don't have to live
two lives. But now that my mom does now i find it harder, i cant even go out the car
without being asked were i'm going and who i'm going to see.


So all i can say is think long and hard about what you say as you cant go back on it
 
Shoot her?? Thats one option. The best option is for you to set boundaries for her to follow. As stated by others it is your life. She has no right to read your personal material.

Your friends are your business. How does she know how many friends you have?? You do not have to bring them home for her to vet. Your life must be separate from her life and the same applies to friends.

If you are unsure about whether you like men or women or both, then that is OK. She should keep her nose out of your business.

I advise you from years of personal experience to set the boundaries for her and stick to them!!!!

To Ashtheman 2007 ditto!!!!!!!! Tell her to call your Mobile Phone if she needs you, otherwise you are out with friends. Keep your life separate from hers.
 
Did she violate your privacy?




Sounds like you and your mom may be … too close. Especially considering that you appear to be uncomfortable with her questions and how to answer them. Can you tell her, "I'm doing okay," and then start putting some distance, for the sake of your own privacy, between the two of you?

Who is your mom -- Marie Barone?

lmao
my mom is always been that way were just close like that
but um i dont think i can get sdistance from her shes very forcefull she makes me call her every 3 hrs if iam away so lmao
 
At the very least kiddo, probably time to wean yourself away from Mummy or you may find her ruling your life qhen you're 50.
 
lmao
my mom is always been that way were just close like that
but um i dont think i can get sdistance from her shes very forcefull she makes me call her every 3 hrs if iam away so lmao


It sounds like you're giving yourself permission to let your mother dominate you.
 
Every 3 hours? Wow. That's something... So different in my case. Most days we just exchange a couple of sentences. And we live under the same roof.
 
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