The Original Gay Porn Community - Free Gay Movies and Photos, Gay Porn Site Reviews and Adult Gay Forums

  • Welcome To Just Us Boys - The World's Largest Gay Message Board Community

    In order to comply with recent US Supreme Court rulings regarding adult content, we will be making changes in the future to require that you log into your account to view adult content on the site.
    If you do not have an account, please register.
    REGISTER HERE - 100% FREE / We Will Never Sell Your Info

    PLEASE READ: To register, turn off your VPN (iPhone users- disable iCloud); you can re-enable the VPN after registration. You must maintain an active email address on your account: disposable email addresses cannot be used to register.

  • The Support & Advice forum is a no-flame zone.
    The members offering support and advice do so with the best intention. If you ask for advice, we don't require you to take the advice, but we do ask that you listen and give it consideration.

What Should I Do?

M

More_guy2004

On the Prowl
Joined
Aug 9, 2005
Posts
94
Reaction score
1
Points
8
About ten days ago, a guy sent me a friend request on facebook. I recognized his name as soon as I got the request. In fact I had been on his profile a couple of times because the rumor was out that he was gay.

He was an attractive guy, and since I had heard the rumor about him, I immediately accepted his request.

He immediately starts a conversation with me. He tells me that he had been on my profile several times; and that he had thought I was hot for several months. But was afraid to make a move because he wasn't sure what my reaction would be.

So he then asks me if I'm seeing anyone. I told him no. We continue chatting for several minutes. He tells me that he would like a relationship but would settle for a "friend with benefits." I told him that was fine but if we did decide to try either that if it didn't work, I'd like for us to at least remain friends. He agreed.

Then he then asked if he could have some of my free time soon. So a couple of days later, we met. We spent about 4 hours together. During that time he tells me that he could fall for me really fast and that scared the hell out of him. Not sure what to say, I never said anything.

After we parted, we continued to chat via facebook and text messages for the next several days. But as each day passed, I just got this gut feeling that he wasn't interested in me or that he was losing interest. I don't know why I felt that, but I did.

By the end of day five, his messages were very few. Then three days passed and I never heard a word from him. I assumed that my gut feeling was correct; and that he wanted nothing else to do with me.

SO I sent him a text and I told him that it was obvious that he wasn't interested in pursuing any type of friendship or relationship with me. I told him that I was a bit disappointed, but that I wished him well and hoped he'd find whatever it was that he was looking for. I also told him to feel free to message me anytime. He never responded.

The next day I see him online on Facebook and I sent him an instant message. He never responded. This really upset me so I told him that I would just delete him if he was going to ignore me. And I did.

A few hours later, he sends me an email telling me that he never got the messages until just then. So I asked him point blank what happened. I told him that things started out great, but then almost as soon as it started, it was over. He responded that it was not my fault, that I did nothing, and that he was extremely sorry. That was all he said.

So we exchanged a couple more small talk messages. And he logged off. Later, I sent him an apologetic poem, and told him that I was still confused as to what had happened. I also sent him another friend request on facebook.

He never responded to my messages or request on facebook. SO I sent him a text and told him I'd sent them. He responded that he hadn't been back online. That was the last I heard from him. He has yet to respond to anything else. And I know he has been back online .

Should I give him some more time; or should I just move on and forget this guy?
 
The "didn't get your text" excuse is and always will be a load of crap.

However great this guy seemed, it's obvious he's avoiding you and making excuses rather than being forthcoming and honest.

Do you believe the two of you would be able to maintain a healthy relationship if this kind of behavior on his part continued?

Don't waste your time on this guy. Find one with a backbone.
 
I would instantly see red lights flashing when a guy I literally just started my first ever conversation with tells me he wants a relationship with me. I mean, wtf?

This one screams FLAKE from miles away.
 
You really don't have a choice here if you wish to remain sane and healthy. It's too bad he only has two speeds, very fast or dead stop, and only two temperatures, boiling and freezing.

Good luck to you and I'm sorry for your disappointment.
 
ya, move on. he is definately playing games. maybe he felt snubbed when you didnt respond to him saying he could fall for you easily.. when someone says that so soon, they are clingy and need constant attention, probly has low selfesteem & since you didnt feed into it and say you could fall for him that fast back, he felt snubbed. and maybe embarrassed a little.
I would forget about him. good luck with your choice.
 
Rolyo85 said:
I would instantly see red lights flashing when a guy I literally just started my first ever conversation with tells me he wants a relationship with me. I mean, wtf?

This one screams FLAKE from miles away.
Click to expand...

Rolyo, he made that comment in general; and not necessarily in reference to me.
 
He's obviously lost interest and is too chicken to say it. Only he knows the reason and he's not willing to share it with you. There's nothing you can do about it.

I'd stop all contact immediately. The continued texting and facebook stuff is only going to make you look desperate. He's not worth it. I had a somewhat similar experience. I had met someone through some mutual friends and we became friends with benefits. Things were fine until one day out of the blue, he flips out. I still don't have a clue why tbh. Turns out the guy is nuts. I think he is either bi polar or has a split personality. Be glad you found out this early in the relationship and move on. Don't blame yourself. It doesn't sound like you did anything wrong except try to be friends with someone who is crazy.

Sorry it happened but your better off without him in your life.

Steven.
 
I agree with Georgiadude. Walk away. It's one thing to leave the door open, it'a another to chase him down.

Whenever you think you're getting the brush off, you just say something like "you seem busy, call me if you have some time..." then you leave it alone. No texts, no calls, no whatever the fuck it is you do on Facebook.

If for no other reason than your pride, you back off. If his excuses are real, he'll make time - but don't count on that because guys who are that interested make time from the start.

You two met, and either A. he's completely insincere - dodged a bullet; or B. he WAS being honest and you didn't respond the way he wanted you to respond - dodged a bullet, or he just wan't that into you. Either way this guy has red flags all over him. There was this cartoon I saw a long time ago that was captioned: "...ways nature tells you not to touch..." I think that applies to anyone who goes straight to relationship talk the FIRST TIME you've ever seen each other - and no, I don't think he was speaking generally, I think you didn't jump right in and that wasn't what he was looking for.

We've all dated that guy also.
 
](*,)](*,)

he has already told you enough about himself that you need to know. walk away from the situation and do so as fast as you can. just remove all traces of him - be it phone number or internet sites. you deserve some one far better then this guy.

eM/
 
Thanks everyone for their responses and advice. It is greatly appreciated.

Here is a bit of an update.

Today I sent him a text that said "what's up?". I basically wanted to see if he would respond. He responded that he was in class. That was the end of it.

Then tonight he accepted my friend request on facebook. I was having major issues with my internet so we didn't get to talk long before I got disconnected. But jokingly said something about groping him and he never responded. Finally I said something to the effect of " forget the grope if you are going to get quiet." He responded "hahaha. I like getting groped." And to which I responded "except by me, huh?" . He responded "I never said that." End of conversation.

But I think you guys are right. He is all about the games and it's time for me to move on. I'm gonna leave him on my friends list and if he messages me, I'll respond. But I'm not gonna pursue him. Because, I am NOT desperate. Especially for someone like him.

Thanks again guys!
 
This guy`s obviously just playing around.
He just came out so he wants to try a lot of stuff and perhaps even date more than one guy at a time.
I would just move on.Seems like a dead end!
Be glad it happened now and not later on,and STOP TEXTING HIM!
 
More_guy2004 said:
Thanks everyone for their responses and advice. It is greatly appreciated.

Here is a bit of an update.

Today I sent him a text that said "what's up?". I basically wanted to see if he would respond. He responded that he was in class. That was the end of it.

Then tonight he accepted my friend request on facebook. I was having major issues with my internet so we didn't get to talk long before I got disconnected. But jokingly said something about groping him and he never responded. Finally I said something to the effect of " forget the grope if you are going to get quiet." He responded "hahaha. I like getting groped." And to which I responded "except by me, huh?" . He responded "I never said that." End of conversation.

But I think you guys are right. He is all about the games and it's time for me to move on. I'm gonna leave him on my friends list and if he messages me, I'll respond. But I'm not gonna pursue him. Because, I am NOT desperate. Especially for someone like him.

Thanks again guys!
Click to expand...

Oh come now really? Deep down you tell yourself that, yet you'll wait anxiously for the message. Honestly, what you should do is delete all together and walk away. I don't even understand why you sent message after message even though you weren't going to get a response/the response you wanted. Which Is why I said, that little bit about, well it's bolded, is complete bullock. Good luck mate!
 
I have learned the hard way never to handle this sort of crap via text and email. Too many ways for your or him either one to read stuff into a message that may or may not be there. Try meeting him face to face and telling him that you want to tear his clothes off and screw his brains out and then you will find out what he really wants.
 
I know you said you weren't going to contact him etc but your still going to wait around for him to contact you. Whether you know it or not, your still hanging onto the hope that he's going to reach out. There's no doubt in my mind as soon as he txt's or messages you, your going to reply to him. He's going to play his little game, give you a few cryptic replies and disappear again. Leaving you sitting there wondering wtf is going on.

Your leaving the door open. You need to slam the door and move on. Delete him on facebook. Block his number. Delete it so your not tempted to txt him. He knows he has you simmering on the back burner. Once in a while he's going to come around, stir the pot and move. Don't play his game. Your only setting yourself up for misery. Believe me. He'll find someone else to play his game with. Pick up your toys and go home. You will find someone better suited for you. This jackass isn't the right fit.

Steven.
 
Move on.

You can do better than this flake.
 
You should move on. There are too many hot guys out there and too little time to enjoy them. Don't waste your time with this guy.
 
thanks for all the advice guys! It's been four days since we last had any contact with each other. And I have no plans of changing that.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top