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What to do, what to do...

Pyramus11

Pyramus11

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I am, like it seems many people in this part of the forum are, a closeted, single, high school type person.

There is this really cute guy who is definatly, completly, no grey area Gay that I've been talking to for the last few weeks. He goes to my school, and we haven't really talked before, but I've realized I have a huge crush on him.

I don't think he's figured out I'm gay yet, and I'd like to prod him along in that direction, without really telling him. I don't know why, but it's partially because I don't know him very well, and I don't need the whole school finding out, quite yet.

We've talked for two or three hours at a time several times on AIM, and we seem to click. I even talked about rumors of someone else being gay at school, which we both agreed was no one's business, and my gay relatives, but I don't think he got it.

Telling him I had no homecomming date didn't work, either. I realize now that we were both talking about having nothing to do on a Saturday night, and I could have asked him to go see a movie or something, but... I didn't.

Am I getting to worked up about this? Should I just say, "You're cute. Let's go hang out," or what? I've never tried to do anything like this, before.

Telling him without getting him to tell probably would be a moot point when people started putting two and two together, and I'm just afraid to jump out of my comfortable little closet, but there have to be some good conversation starters.

I don't even know if I want more than just to be around him, to have someone to hold hands with, talk to, et cetera. Agh. Thoughts?
 
Hey, there's nothing to fear or lose to ask him out to the movies or for a game of bowling. Get to know him better and you never know what might come out of it. ;) He's gay so there really shouldn't be a problem for him to find out that you are too. Anyway, it sounds like you need to work on your confidence to communicate. Be confident with yourself because it somehow makes you look a lot more sexier (I've been told!). :D
 
Asking him if he want's to do something on a Saturday night doesn't have to equate to coming out of the closet. He may, or may not be interested in more than friendship, but it could never hurt to have another friend.....especially a gay friend when you are dealing with coming out. Take it slow.

Good Luck!
 
I think you're going to have to get up the nerve to make plans with him on the weekend. Look at it this way. You're miserable being alone and watching him from afar. If you're seen with him, people may draw conclusions and you might feel miserable for that.

So, you can't win by staying safe. Take the risk. You may not be outed as much as you fear. At least you'll have him to talk to about it. Good Luck! :)
 
If you've talked for 2 or 3 hours I think you know each other well enough for you to come out to him. Nothing is going to happen in this friendship until you do. If he's gay himself it shouldn't be so hard for you to tell him.

You've already prepared the ground, just say it in a casual way: btw have i mentioned im gay? (or however you say it in IM-speak).

But remember, it's a 2-step process. Don't say "im gay and i have a crush on you." Let him get used to point 1 for a while before you start in on point 2.
 
So.. are you looking for a boyfriend or just another gay guy to be friends with and hang out with?

Both present issues.

If he's out at school.. it's not really fair for you to NOT be seen with him while you're at school. Friends are always friends, not just when no one else is looking.

If you just want some sex.. well, that's cool too.

But either way, I figure that you've broken the ice enough... Lay your cards on the table. And for God's Sake, if it's a date you want, ask him to the Senior Prom.
 
I don't want to wait until May for the prom. I'm still taking it cautiously. We've talked more, on IM, and I've told him how much I like talking to him, and he seemed appreciative. At this point, I don't really care if people know I'm gay, at school, but I'm not in a huge hurry to announce that to everyone. I know I'd survive, but it would be a lot more difficult, with the way some of my friends talk.

I hope to God or whatever fictional character's up there that I would never be so shallow as to not be his friend because other people are watching.
 
Sorry for the double post, but I guess I didn't answer you're question.

Yes, I am looking for a boyfriend, but if that's not what he wants, I'd still want to be his friend. I'm not sure I'm even looking for sex, I just want someone to talk to.
 
Well.. then talk to hiim.

Lay your cards on the table. I bet he'll be happy to finally have a good gay friend, and even if it doesn't lead to anything other than a good friend, wouldn't that rock?

(So how about asking him to the Homecomeing dance?)
 
He's taking one of his friends who is a girl, he said.
 
well.. thou snoozeth, thou loseth.

anyway... forget about the homeccoming dance... Just lay your cards on the table. Best to have a good friend that turns into a boyfriend if that happens... But it's also great to have a good friend. So go make friends and forget about anything more than that.

I had a gay friend in high school (although he was in college) and it made everything SO much better for me.

either way.. friends are always good to have.
 
why not ask him if he'd like to swap or share your dvd's or betrer still invite him round and say iv'e the latest you wana look
 
I asked him if he could keep a secret, he said yes, so I told him. He said he wouldn't tell anyone, and said he thought I was, but didn't want to be rude and ask. Then we kept talking about just stuff.

Earlier today, I asked him to a movie, before I told him, and he didn't want to because he was tired. I offered to pay, but he said he would feel bad, so I didn't press the issue. I asked again, but he was grounded... so...

Taking it slowly has worked (slowly), so far, so I guess I'll just see where this goes.
 
i'm so proud that you came out to him already. you're in a good position now, since you've got a potentially great friendship with another gay guy who will undoubtedly understand you more than almost any other person, and if things work out, maybe it could become more than a friendship. if not, then plain old friendship is great! good luck!
 
Nothing has changed much in the way we've talked, recently, but I think he's been a little more flirtatious, or at least comfortable with me, now that he knows. I'd really love to let this develop into something more than a friendship, because he's so sweet and cute.

One somewhat wierd thing: We've talked almost exclusively on AIM, and I've been the one starting most all of the conversations. I guess a goal then should be to talk to him more in real life, although we only really have one class together.

I'm just happy to have someone like-minded to talk with.
 
It was so wierd at school, today. I was walking around in kind of a surreal mode, where every other word I thought was "Gay." He was the first person I've ever told, and it's like something is different now... I didn't know what to say to him in person, but we talked again on IM...
 
Sharing a secret with someone for the first time can have that effect. Hiding something makes it seem bad. Bringing it out into the open allows it to be healthier.

Its a good feeling! :)
 
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