What To Do When He Cheats?

[thrillrideseeker]

Hey Guys I need a little help. I just found out a few days ago that my boyfriend is cheating on me again, and I really dont know what to do. I love him more than anything in the world, and I can not see myself with anyone but him. I do not want to lose him, but I do not want to stay with him if he is going to cheat on me over and over. So what should I do? I have tried talking to him about it, but he always gets mad. I really dont know what to do any more. Can some please give me some advice?
~Matthew

 

[sixthson]

If you choose to be a doormat, don't be surprised when your bf walks all over you. To make matters worse, he refuses to talk to you, which implies (to me anyway) that
he has no intentions of changing. Plus, he knows you will
take it, because you are a doormat.

You may not be able to see yourself with anyone else, but obviously he has no problem seeing (feeling, sucking, fucking) himself with other guys. It sounds like you are emotionally dependant on someone who is untrustworthy and a CHEAT. You are now set up for heartbreak.

Now, you have to look within yourself and see if you have
any self respect. If you find any, mix it with a little courage and kick his ass to the curb. It is only a matter of time before he does it to you, anyway, IMHO. Whether you can ever work this out is doubtful, but at least you need to do
the right thing for you and that is NOT to accept being treated like this anymore.

Good luck, but I think you are going to need lots more than luck.

I am sorry that you have to go through all this, however.

 

[woaini]

WTF! Your life will be brighter without him!

 

[G-Lexington]

>>>? I have tried talking to him about it, but he always gets mad.

Well, you wouldn't want him to get mad, now, would you? That's just plain inconsiderate.

Let the son of a bitch get mad. He's cheating on you. Not once, but repeatedly. And seems to think "that's the way it's gonna be". He doesn't giving a flying rat's ass about you. So it seems you have two options. You can stay with this guy and make it a "he can sleep with whoever he wants" sort of thing, or you can DTMFA.

I know which I'd vote for.

Lex

 

[IHeartMarco]

Let me get this straight, he is getting mad at YOU because HE cheated? What a low life loser. I'm sorry, you probably don't want to hear this, but you need to dump him ASAP. I know you think right now you couldn't be w/ anyone else, but that will soon pass. You deserve better.

 

[MainEntry]

Some people tend to be more sexually faithful than others. You sound like the faithful type. Try to find someone like yourself and be happy. If you just want to have fun and play around, it's fine to have casual boyfriends. If you want a partner, make certain that the two of you share the same goals. Straying occasionally and feeling sorry for it is certainly forgivable. Being defensive about it is NOT.

 

[thewiz]

I know it is hard to hear but I'd break up with him now; it won't be easy and your heart will have a hole where he once was, but it will heal.

If he is cheating on you (and it sounds like he has in the past), I doubt that things are going to get better as time goes on. What if someone whom he cheats with has something that he then brings back to you? You'll never know until it is too late.

I guess my feeling has been that if I'm not enough for a guy, then he should find someone else. You sound like someone that is willing to give himself totally and expects the same; you should find someone who will give that to you!

 

[confusedboy23]

I always believe that honesty is the foundation of any healthy relationship so if that does not exist in yours, mainly because of him, then I'm all with the rest of the guys - you need to dump him ASAP!

 

[SFMusic]

There is some good advice above that you need to think about, but ultimately you need to decide what is in your best interest. You need to ask yourself are you better off with him or without him.

Unless you will find yourself homeless and destitute without him, you are probably better off breaking up. You are unlikely to get what you really want out of a long term releationship with this guy.

 

[NomineDetracto]

leave him.
there's no excuse for cheating... leave him.
you deserve better, unless you cheat as well.

 

[billybob109]

Bring home another guy or if you dont live togethor make a video of you fucking another dude and then sit him down to watch a movie and put the movie on. And ask him.. "so how does it feel"

 

[M4P]

Yeah, that'll make everything ok, sure.

I was thinking the same thing

Maybe its time for the two of you to sit down and discuss why he did it, if the relationship can be salvaged and whether you have it in you to forgive and move on

Next, I'd say both of you need to set up some ground rules for the relationship going forward

If you decide to carry on together, you really are going to have to forgive, forget and put it behind you. Otherwise the feelings will fester and together you won't have a chance

 

[IHeartMarco]

I reckon that may not be the best way to solve the problem.

Thank you, I totally agree. Doing that is stooping to his level and is only going to make you feel horrible about yourself in the long run...

 

[rareboy]

Kick his ass to the door if it bothers you.

 

[Ohiospeedo]

Dump his ass! You are still young, play the field.

 

[thacket3]

I had that happen to me (as I am sure a lot of guys on here have too) I tried to get past it for a year while we "worked on it" but honestly, everytime he walked out the door I started doubting what he said he was going to go do. I let it start to ruin my life. I became obsessive about it. That was all I could think about. Looking back I realize that I should have either walked away, or dealt with the fact that if he was the one I wanted to be with, I had to learn that I was going to have to change my thinking. You can't change another person no matter how much you think you can. They have to be willing to change.

So eventually we split up. Now I am in a great relationship for 6 years with someone I totally trust and would do anything for. I look back at the times with the cheating b/f and shake my head thinking "why did I stay?" But thats a question you have to answer for yourself. =

 

[thrillrideseeker]

WOW! Thanks guys for all of the replies, but I am really confused. I know you all tell me to dump him, but is that really what is right?
~Matthew

 

[Ohiospeedo]

Yes. This is the right thing. If your bf was really in love or devoted to you. He would have never cheated on you in the first place. Who's to say that he won't do it again?

 

[Centexfarmer]

WOW! Thanks guys for all of the replies, but I am really confused. I know you all tell me to dump him, but is that really what is right?
~Matthew

Considering your screen name, I think perhaps you may in fact have chosen the right guy!

I say good on'ya!

If you don't like the fact that he's cheating (again), so long as you let him get away with he's going to keep on doing it!

The choice is yours!

 

[theFallenGod]

Next time you see him... Open the door... and tell him to take a hike...

If he wants to go fuck other people so be it because he won't be fucking you any longer...

AND whatever you do ...DO NOT TAKE HIM BACK !!!!

Because if you take him back he will just know that he can get away with it again and again....

He has absolutely no respect for you whatsoever... If you can see yourself with someone who has no respect for you than that's your counseling bill not ours...

Go out ... find a person who has respect for you and don't allow yourself to be this guys patsy.

As it stands now he keeps doing it because you let him....



On a side note... I know how difficult it can be to find a bf... but it happens it really does.. finding a guy who is faithful, understanding, and loving is a possibility and you're still young enough to experience all of what life has to offer to have to settle on the first asshole that comes along... it will be filled with ups and downs all through life but you gotta look at what you want and go for it... the right guy will come along eventually... it may be a couple of weeks, months, years... or even days ... but it will happen and you don't have to setle for this asshole.