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    The members offering support and advice do so with the best intention. If you ask for advice, we don't require you to take the advice, but we do ask that you listen and give it consideration.

What To Do When He Cheats?

At 19 it is difficult, or impossible, to get a realistic perspective on personal relationships. Partly because your experience is so limited and partly because your brain is still developing. The main reason you can't see yourself with anyone else is because you have no means of comparison.

I'm guessing that this is your first serious relationship. This is probably your first experience of breaking up with anyone, too. It's important, I think, that you handle the break-up cleanly and rationally. Choose the time and place, perhaps arranging a date with the express purpose of telling him. Tell him what the relationship has meant to you and the reasons why you are choosing to end it. Give him the opportunity to respond but DO NOT waver in your resolve. Make sure you've given some forethought to the logistics of separation e.g. do you have to get a key back, move out, settle a financial obligation etc. Have things arranged so you do not have to see each other again for at least a month.

It's important that you review for yourself the positive aspects of the relationship and the reasons why you decided to quit. If you handle this separation with integrity you'll be learning how to make better choices in the future.
 
Cheating is a deal breaker. If you forgive the first time, you're a very patient and forgiving person. If it happens again, you are a fool not to break up with him.

Especially since he gets "mad" when you confront him about it. What a jerk.
 
In order to see yourself with someone else, you have to dump this guy and meet new people.
 
As many times as strangers on the internet can tell you. Fact is.

You wont leave until you realize what you yourself think you're worth.

Until you think you deserve better, which you do, AND not just you, ANYBODY who has been cheated on, will you have the courage to move on: Knowing that you can do better with confidence in yourself. Because without self worth, any body will treat you like shit, because you'll take it.
 
After much thinking, I retake what I said. Stay with the guy and let him neglect, abuse, and use you as much as he wants. Eventually you'll look in the mirror and say you deserve better, kick him to the curve, and never look back. But only you can realize that, and no matter how many times anyone tells you, you won't learn until you hit rock bottom with the guy.
 
yup, looks like you've got a real winner on your hands. He cheats, and then when you confront him about it he gets angry? Well that makes perfect sense.

Look, you are 19, and as much as you want to think that this relationship(even if he were faithful) is going to last for the rest of your lifes, it's prolly not going to happen. Truth is you will break up, and you will go through a few dozen other guys before you really find the right one, and when you do, he won't cheat, lie or get angry with you. And you will live in a state of bliss, that you cannot explain in words.

So dump him and start your journey to finding someone that will treat you the way you ought to be treated.

Dirk
 
Fool me once shame on you.
Fool me twice shame on me.

You are worth so much more than this.

Mac
 
Leave him... I should add that if, and only IF, he came back in tears and kneeled at your feet, tell him you'd think about it and take a few days away.

If he comes back in the same desperate state, then take him back, but give him a could shoulder for a couple of months. It should teach him a lesson.

If he didn't try REALLY, REALLY hard (and you should make it hard for him), then leave him and do not look back.

I know it would feel extremely painful, but you deserve someone better, much better. If you ever feel like going back to him after you've already left, come here to JUB, the guys would make you feel better.

And I can't imagine how it would be difficult for you to have another boyfriend. I would definitely say yes if you asked me out! !oops! You seem to be a nice person!
 
thrillrideseeker said:
Can some please give me some advice?
Click to expand...

Cheating seems to be a permanent human condition. I think as long as there is a strong male libido, long-term relationships will always have their challenges... especially amongst the crowd blessed with good looks. I can only imagine it would take a miracle from heaven for a good looking guy to remain faithful to someone for more than a week... there are simply too many temptations and far, far too many good looking people for him to be with to stop at just one.

Seriously though, I think it's up to you about whether you should dump your boyfriend... but the cheating will not stop. If it is in someone's nature to cheat, they will cheat. IMHO, you have two options... ONE you can stay with the guy and have your heart broken over and over again or you can dump him and have your heart broken once... the choice is yours.
 
three words... dump his ass. Your bf is simply using you for sex, money and god knows what else. People that love one another don't cheat on each other. One time.. some people can forgive, but the fact he did it again and got angry when you confronted him about it tells you all you need to know about him. you're nothing more than a booty call. Get rid of him and find someone worthy
 
  • Dig your key into the side of his pretty little souped up 4 wheel drive
  • Carve your name into his leather seats
  • Take a Louisville slugger to both headlights
  • Slash a hole in ALL four tires
Maybe next time he'll think before he cheats

:lol:
 
Why don't you stay
I'm down on my knees
I'm so tired of being lonely
Don't I give you what you need
When he calls you to go
There is one thing you should know
We don't have to live this way
Baby, why don't you stay

I can't take it any longer
But my will is getting stronger
And I think I know just what I have to do
I can't waste another minute
After all that I've put in it
I've given you my best
Why does he get the best of you
So next time you find you wanna leave his bed for mine

Why don't you stay
I'm up off my knees
I'm so tired of being lonely
You can't give me what I need
When he begs you not to go
There is one thing you should know
I don't have to live this way
Baby, why don't you stay


-Matthew
 
You said he's cheating on you "again"? Well, that's why he's with you, so he can cheat without consequence, knowing you're going to let him walk all over you. It's up to you whether you're going to continue to prove him right. If you're asking for advice about this, you're obviously upset. Is the relationship worth the fear, anger, and sadness of watching your boyfriend constantly make you a running joke? That's up to you.
 
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