What to do with my feelings?!!

[JSRD]

Hey guys relationship advice needed here. Not really sure what forum to post it on but thought we would give it a shot here. My partner and I have a great sex life, really great. We have sex daily, it's rare actually we miss a day. My problem is I have a very very very high sex drive. I want it all the time, every time I see him. I like it every morning every night. For him once is a day is good and all he wants. We've tried to have have sex twice and he doesn't like it. So when I approach him a lot to try and get things going I am rejected because we have already had sex and he wants to do other things together. I can't help but feel alittle rejection from this even though I know we will have sex again and he is attracted to me. I have tried jerking off to help this but it's not the same....am I just being way too selfish?

 

[rareboy]

Yes.

You are being way too selfish.

 

[NotHardUp1]

If the frequency were significantly different, like weekly or less, I'd side with you. But it isn't. Daily is pretty frequently. For a mature relationship to have sex daily, that's a high frequency in almost everyone's book.

Rather than view your mate as a gumball machine that puts out every time you want another treat, consider using the desire you have between snacks to be a fuel for that desire. Instant gratification may be allowable in some parts of our lives, but not when it comes to accessing another's body to the degree that sex entails.

If I were you, I'd be examining my feeling of deprivation and resentment rather than your partner's less-than-satisfactory libido. It really sounds like you have a great thing going, so the question becomes, why are you mentally sabotaging that by making it not good enough in your reckoning? What does that say? Ask yourself, "am I really appreciating my partner in a broader way or just objectifying him sexually?" It sounds like he senses an imbalance in some way and is protesting.

 

[KaraBulut]

...I want it all the time, every time I see him. I like it every morning every night...I can't help but feel alittle rejection from this even though I know we will have sex again and he is attracted to me. I have tried jerking off to help this but it's not the same....am I just being way too selfish?

Sex can be a lot of things- a way to express a feeling, the way to feel closer to a partner or just a means to relief because you're both horny.

If you read the sentences above, you've identified the issue. You're not having sex because you're horny- if it were, you would be satisfied by jacking off alone. Instead, there's something that you're needing and you're using sex to get it. What's in that for your partner?

Maybe you need to address the feelings that are making you use sex (and your partner) for something other than your mutual satisfaction?

 

[Seasoned]

You may be sexually compulsive. Regardless of that possibility, you and your partner need to mutually arrive at what's comfortable for both of you. Even once a day will prove burdensome after a while by him if the two of you view and treat sex differently. Taking him or it for granted will eventually wear thin.

Relationship sex is usually different than casual sex insofar as it has more varied aspects. It could be a quickie one time and very romantic the next. There's an expectation of sex in a relationship, but people generally don't sign up for sex on demand.

For your sake, his sake and the sake of your relationship, do check out the Sexual Complusives Anonymous website.
http://www.sca-recovery.org

 

[TX-Beau]

What is your relationship to intimacy? I don't mean cuddling on the couch, though that's part of it, I ask because at one point in my life I used sex as a surrogate for allowing intimacy - my partner would want me to open up, I'd give him sex. Though they are (or can be) tied together, they aren't actually the same thing.

Perhaps sex isn't what you are asking for?

 

[Aron9000]

What is your relationship to intimacy? I don't mean cuddling on the couch, though that's part of it, I ask because at one point in my life I used sex as a surrogate for allowing intimacy - my partner would want me to open up, I'd give him sex. Though they are (or can be) tied together, they aren't actually the same thing.

Perhaps sex isn't what you are asking for?

That's pretty deep.

I'd also say that if you're in a relationship, there are days(maybe on holiday) where you can just have a romantic day, lay around the house(or hotel on holiday) and just be completely depraved fuck bunny sluts to eachother all day long until you both pass out from exhaustion.

But yeah except for those once in a blue moon type of situations, I'd say you need to look inward and figure out what's going on with YOU if you're having sex every day and it still isn't enough, because IMO the sex is filling some sort of other need that you have.

Personally I've never had that sort of relationship where sex was daily, IMO that would kind of seem like a chore after a while if you live together and work similar hours. Although I do subscribe to the fuck like bunnies routine every once in a while to liven things up.