what to do ?

[MrGlamorous]

Here's the deal i haven't slept with a male or female but i feel an attraction to males.. so i assumed i was gay. I then thought i should tell my family and they kind of disowned me because i was different. so i went to my nan's for a month and she helped me alot.When i got back home my mum and dad pulled me aside and asked how did i know i was gay and trying to explain it to them that I just have a feeling and an attraction to males that i could not help was like trying to debate wheather gays should have the same rights as straight people.. i had my side and they had theres more i pushed the more the got angry.. dad then said that i should go out and fuck one of each male and a female and come back and tell him which i preferred and i said that if i was that easy i would.. just that i ain't ready to throw my 1st time away to just anyone. (want my first time to be special, i know corny right?) but than mum and dad told my brothers and sister about me and now i can't go out or do anything with out them judging me and telling me how fugly i am.. it really hurts.

I later found a guy who i liked alot but than he cheated on me with my best friend, and the same day i found out that my dad had cancer.

SO with all this shit going on i got a promotion at work.. and now i have all the crap from work topped up with all the other stuff and i don't know how much more i can deal with.. i been to see my doctor and he put me on anti depressants because i have server anxity and im scared ill have a realpse with it..

any advice?

thanks will xxoo
p.s
this is what i look like and i feel like im not good enough cause the only people who want me are the local man whores, and im determined not to full into the gays are sluts category

 

[youngnihilist]

well I can't give that much advice but I will you tell you're not fugly at all and you should be able to get mostly what you like. they're wrong. at least where I am you'd be a hit.

 

[DeadRussianSpaceMonkey]

When i got back home my mum and dad pulled me aside and asked how did i know i was gay and trying to explain it to them that I just have a feeling and an attraction to males that i could not help was like trying to debate wheather gays should have the same rights as straight people.

I wouldn't worry so much about trying to make them understand the reasons why you are the way you are.- It's just wasted time and energy on something that they will eventually have to learn how to accept. There is nothing they can say or do that will change the way you feel, as well as there is nothing you can say that will make them understand it better, just live your life to the best of your ability and find happiness in every moment you have.

Also, do note that your parents do care about you. I just don't think they know how to deal with such an issue. I don't think they realize that all you need is support, and someone that is willing to stand behind you and say it's ok, as long as you are happy because in the end that's all that matters.

them judging me and telling me how fugly i am.. it really hurts.

Usually when people try to bring others down like that, it's because they are unhappy with themselves in some way. So, don't let them bring you down. Know that you have something more to offer someone. Know your worth, know you have something to offer this world.

I later found a guy who i liked alot but than he cheated on me with my best friend, and the same day i found out that my dad had cancer

I'd break ties with both of them.- If he was a friend, he would have never slept with the guy you were seeing, and if he was someone who really did care about you he wouldn't have slept with friend.
& Sorry to hear about your dad- I'm really surprised that the news of cancer didn't make him more understanding/accepting. Knowing that your time could be close usually makes people more understanding, it really lets them get rid of the things ideas that they hold onto, because in the end a lot of those things don't really matter. I hope all goes well with him though.

any advice?

Relax, and just take it one day at a time. As for dating, don't settle, set a standard for yourself- Just don't become full of yourself

You'll be fine.
As for your dad's cancer, all you can do is be there for him and your family even if you have your differences. That's it sadly. It's something he needs to deal with and go through. It's his fight, you can be there to make it easier for him, that's all.

this is what i look like and i feel like im not good enough cause the only people who want me are the local man whores, and im determined not to full into the gays are sluts category

Stop feeling like there might be something wrong about you- There is nothing wrong. You'll find yourself a good relationship, it just takes time.

Good luck. Don't worry so much. Life is pretty simple, no need to over complicate it by worrying so much- One step at a time.

 

[gingentleman]

You are a very attractive young man and you deserve to be happy. Please know these things are more true than anything else. You are worthwhile and deserve happiness. Now, I suggest you contact a local gay organization such as PFLAG, Australia must have something of the sort, and see what they can do for you in handling your family. Just remember, no one can make you feel inferior...only you have that power. They can TRY to make you feel that way, just do not give them that power over you. You are going to have a wonderful life and everything will sort itself, give it time. And keep on waiting for that one good guy...you deserve to have your first time be memorable and with someone you care about! Cheers!

 

[Eagle653]

First, you're attractive--not fugly.

Second, don't try to make your attractions rational to another person. Sexual attraction is not necessarily rational. And, asking someone like you how you "know" you are gay, or attracted to males, when you've never been with one is like asking a straight guy who's a virgin how he knows he's straight when he's never been with a woman. You just know. And, you don't need to screw one of each gender to figure it out.

In short, stop trying to reason this out with them. You are who you are and have seemed to figure that out. It is their responsibility to either accept you or not, but their choice in that doesn't effect who you are.

Go out and explore and give yourself time and space to find the right person.

Good luck!

 

[landers]

I agree with the other posters. Assuming you're 18, I'd do ya.

If you want to sleep with guys, then sleep with guys and if your family asks you how you know you're gay if you've never slept with a woman, ask them how they know they're straight if they've never slept with the same sex...and if they have, then you'll probably have to sleep with a woman, lol.

 

[backpacker]

As others have noted, you are definitely not fugly. It's sounds more like they are jealous than they are making an actual comment about you.

With regard to the suggestion that you sleep with both a man and woman to find out, you should suggest they do the same. Maybe they will realize how ridiculous of an idea that it is. Of course they will probably say they don't need to as they are not confused. Tell them that the same applies to you. You should only sleep with a woman if you have a desire to do so, not to prove something.

I think your family will come around. Remember, they have only had a short time to deal with this news whereas you have had years. Parents often go through phases to acceptance, which include denial, thinking that it's only a phase and wondering what they did wrong. Just keep being yourself and don't let them push you back in the closet.

Did your best friend know that you were gay and dating this guy? If so, then it's time to find a new best friend. If your best friend just thought he was one of your friends, then it's really not his/her fault.

I hope all goes well with your dad's cancer treatment.

 

[seven2go]

i can't go out or do anything with out them judging me and telling me how fugly i am.. it really hurts.

FUGLY? YOU? Not by a long shot.
Somebody is wack and it's NOT you.......

SO with all this shit going on i got a promotion at work.

You must be very good at whatever it is you do!
Don't take your family's nasty comments to heart. Concentrate on the people who DO find you valuable and recognize what you have to offer.
In time your family might come around.......darker before the light and all that crap.......

this is what i look like and i feel like im not good enough

Offhand, based on looks alone, I'd say you are a helluvalot more "good enough" than you think....... ......you're pretty cute.......

Regardless of how you and your Dad are getting along right now....... and good luck to both of you.

 

[MrGlamorous]

Thanks guys your all so sweet.. well tonight im 2hrs out of my home cause we had a fight about this.. went to work and came home to find i forgot to turn my laptop off and my sister showed mum and dad so im with my nan also

You must be very good at whatever it is you do!

im an going to quit my job because they are rude to me cause i let it slip that i use to like the manager -.- so now im just getting more shit ..

You are a very attractive young man and you deserve to be happy

Thanks

I agree with the other posters. Assuming you're 18, I'd do ya.

<-- 20 next month and

then you'll probably have to sleep with a woman, lol.

i dont think i could bring myself around to sleep with one.

Just keep being yourself and don't let them push you back in the closet.

I am sorta back in there i felt bad for my family they think they will get shit for me being well me so yeah.

Did your best friend know that you were gay and dating this guy? If so, then it's time to find a new best friend. If your best friend just thought he was one of your friends, then it's really not his/her fault.

Yes he knew and whats even worst he is 17 and the guy i like is 25 >< makes me feel worthless

Offhand, based on looks alone, I'd say you are a helluvalot more "good enough" than you think....... ......you're pretty cute.......

thank you xxoo

thanks alot xxoo will

 

[backpacker]

As I noted before, it often takes family members some time to come to terms with someone being gay. Unfortunately it is not uncommon for fights to occur. At least you have one supportive family member that you are able to turn to. It sucks that you now have problems at work as well.

I'm sorry you are having problems at work on top of all the issues at home. The more confidence you project at work about your sexuality, the less of an issue it will be. I would suggest that you wait to quit until you find another job. I wouldn't be surprised if your co-workers move on to something else once you show them that it's not a big deal.

Don't go back in the closet. Your family will learn to deal with the ignorant people and it's not your fault. By the way, your sister seems like a bit of a trouble maker, so I wouldn't feel sorry for her at all.

Good luck!

 

[seven2go]

Thanks guys your all so sweet.. well tonight im 2hrs out of my home cause we had a fight about this.. went to work and came home to find i forgot to turn my laptop off and my sister showed mum and dad so im with my nan also im an going to quit my job because they are rude to me cause i let it slip that i use to like the manager -.- so now im just getting more shit ..

Get used to getting shit........there isn't a job on earth where you aren't going to get shit now and then....... .......do NOT quit your job.

Yes he knew and whats even worst he is 17 and the guy i like is 25 >< makes me feel worthless

Nobody can MAKE you feel the way you feel.......only YOU have the power to make that decision.......
Allowing someone ELSE to dictate how you feel is giving up WAY too much power. YOU are in control.......even though you may not feel that all the time.
If you were so worthless you SURE as hell would not have been promoted.......
Besides, quitting a job doesn't look very good on the next resume.......

So you let it slip you like the manager......big fucking deal.......your manager ought to be flattered to be the object of such a cute young man....... .......

 

[MrGlamorous]

So you let it slip you like the manager......big fucking deal.......your manager ought to be flattered to be the object of such a cute young man....... .......

really? nawww

Don't go back in the closet. Your family will learn to deal with the ignorant people and it's not your fault. By the way, your sister seems like a bit of a trouble maker, so I wouldn't feel sorry for her at all.

My nan trys to ghelp but yeah she thinks being gay is that i dont love women but i aint sure she knows that being gay is i like men not women and not sure how to tell her lol

 

[seven2go]

really? nawww

REALLY........YAAAAAAA!.......

 

[MrGlamorous]

naw to sweet <3

i wish i had some i could talk to here

 

[AussieGuy91]

Well I don't have a great deal of advice for you but you aren't fugly and it's good that you at least have your nan who's supportive at the moment, hopefully the others come around before too long

 

[MrGlamorous]

Well I don't have a great deal of advice for you but you aren't fugly and it's good that you at least have your nan who's supportive at the moment, hopefully the others come around before too long

thank you and good to find another aussie