I knew I was ready to venture out into relationship territory after a year of experimenting with guys. I settled down so quickly in it all because I was so happy in the arms of a guy versus a girl. Anyways, I dated two guys over the summer (NO, not at the same time). #2 was Tony. He is the guy everyone else for the rest of my life will be measured up to. Nice, kind, trust-worthy, loyal, faithful, funny... it's a long, long list. He is also incredibly good looking. Things were going fast and furious in the emotions department on both ends...he is simply an incredible guy. Without doubt I know we were both falling for each other. I had already been exploring enlisting into the military, and was very close to doing it. I had to share my feelings: I didn't want to hurt anyone, or be hurt myself if I'm going to go away. At that conversation, he also told me that he will probably be promoted soon and that will required a relocation to another state. All wasn't perfect...although incredible looking, he wasn't the type that pushed all my buttons, but I still think he is incredibly hott! Not sure how that works, lol. Oh, and we didn't have sex. Yes, we had come close, but we purposed to not do it until we both knew we were ready for an LTR committment. I will never forget what he said "cum changes things"...so we waited. And I am glad we did.
As great as he is, I still had a lot of emotions since it was the first time I truly had feelings for another guy. Scared, very scared, anxious, excited, happy, very happy, peace. I was scared because I was like "Wow, this is really happening!" And maybe I was a little scared of a committment, mainly from being abandoned by family in the past...in the back of my head I kept wondering how long the goodness of it was was going to last and when he was going to leave too. Some of the fear was from wondering how my family would react. They live out of state and will probably never come to visit. But if they did visit, or if they asked exactly WHO he was to me I wouldn't lie.
I'm just starting to talk to a new guy. Like everyone else, I'm a picky, but mostly just don't want a club-hopping guy that wants to party constantly. I want someone to share my life with.
