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what were the biggest red flags you ignored?
- Thread starter MoufOfKhaos
- Start date
Beachguyj
Is the King of JUB
I had dinner at his house one night. we ate on the couch while watching tv... the food wasn't terrifically good, so I only ate a couple bites and set my plate down on the coffee table so I could curl up with him. a couple weeks later, I was at his house again and the plate was exactly where I'd left it, food and all
That's just gross, I hate cleaning, but if a person if coming over I make sure that the house is clean and neat. I never leave dishes out, I may leave them in the sink overnight but the food is thrown out. What he did was just vile and reminds me of that Hoarders show.
MMMonsterBoy
JUB Addict
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My ex suggesting I should delete my Mahunt sounded great at the time, so I went through with getting rid of it. I wondered if he ever got rid of his...So I made a fake one and saw that he frequented Manhunt often.
I admired that he told me he made a Grindr after a mutual friend introduced him to it, but didn't understand why he had to have one.
Occasionally, he would tell me (actually his friend brought it up first) about some weird kid who wouldn't take no for an answer. All I could wonder was 'who/what/when/where/and why' does he have your number?
Those rare times when we did argue, he had to find something I was doing wrong as well...thus diverting the problem of him onto me.
But most of all..his impulsive behavior as the biggest red flag. Not really into planning, he did what he want. If he wanted something, he'd just go for it. Not really big into planning....
I admired that he told me he made a Grindr after a mutual friend introduced him to it, but didn't understand why he had to have one.
Occasionally, he would tell me (actually his friend brought it up first) about some weird kid who wouldn't take no for an answer. All I could wonder was 'who/what/when/where/and why' does he have your number?
Those rare times when we did argue, he had to find something I was doing wrong as well...thus diverting the problem of him onto me.
But most of all..his impulsive behavior as the biggest red flag. Not really into planning, he did what he want. If he wanted something, he'd just go for it. Not really big into planning....
bw92116
JUB Addict
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Asking to borrow money not long after I met him. I said no, but eventually over the course of the relationship he did get money out of me. I should have recognized this from the beginning. I don't see him any more, but I did learn some valuable lessons and I don't let people push me around any more.
Since then I've become much more attuned to red flags early on, even on the first date. I met a guy for coffee and he spent most of the time answering his phone and texting. He apologized for it and I said, "It's all right..." but when he asked me later online, I turned him down for a second date.
Another guy I had a date to meet him at his house, and on that one I was open to the idea of having sex even though it was the first time we met. But he was 30 minutes late in arriving to his house, and then he spent another 30 minutes talking to his neighbors while I sat there on the porch. I got the feeling that I was just some sort of "chore" for him to do when he got around to it. I left without saying anything and of course there was a text on my phone within minutes, but I never agreed to go back to see him again.
Recently I made a plan to meet a guy at a Starbucks, for coffee and conversation only, and he picked the location, but he never showed up. I waited an hour and finally went home. When I got home there was a message from him on the site saying that he couldn't move his car, that the building was locked or something. I believe him on that, but I also think he used that as an excuse to not meet me. Never agreed to see him again either, though he was very hot and I was interested in him.
Each of these could have been just one-time red flags, or they could have been signs of a pattern, so you need to pay attention to these things to see if a pattern develops.
Since then I've become much more attuned to red flags early on, even on the first date. I met a guy for coffee and he spent most of the time answering his phone and texting. He apologized for it and I said, "It's all right..." but when he asked me later online, I turned him down for a second date.
Another guy I had a date to meet him at his house, and on that one I was open to the idea of having sex even though it was the first time we met. But he was 30 minutes late in arriving to his house, and then he spent another 30 minutes talking to his neighbors while I sat there on the porch. I got the feeling that I was just some sort of "chore" for him to do when he got around to it. I left without saying anything and of course there was a text on my phone within minutes, but I never agreed to go back to see him again.
Recently I made a plan to meet a guy at a Starbucks, for coffee and conversation only, and he picked the location, but he never showed up. I waited an hour and finally went home. When I got home there was a message from him on the site saying that he couldn't move his car, that the building was locked or something. I believe him on that, but I also think he used that as an excuse to not meet me. Never agreed to see him again either, though he was very hot and I was interested in him.
Each of these could have been just one-time red flags, or they could have been signs of a pattern, so you need to pay attention to these things to see if a pattern develops.
