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What would you do if this was your sex life?

CGHJ

CGHJ

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Well, since you asked, I'd dump him.

Since that's probably not an option, I'd tell him that you want an open relationship.

Whatever you do, don't keep putting up with that bullshit. Your BF has a problem, and you're wasting your youthful sexlife on someone that can't satisfy you. Believe me, there are plenty of older guys that would be happy to keep up with you.

Let me be even more direct---you care enough about his enjoyment to suck him off, and then you have to get yourself off? You're a really nice guy, and your guy is an asshole. That's just not right for someone who claims to love you to accept pleasure from you and not be willing to return it.

Bravo to you for talking about it, but you need to talk about it again and lay down some rules. It is as bad as it is, in fact you're being WAY nicer about it than you should. Give him what for and report back.
 
danielsan said:
He's told me it's my fault for jerking off to much, that he can't make me cum. Could this be true? Maybe if I had a better sex life I wouldn't JO so much, lol.
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what an ass.. he is just saying that because he is defensive about his own inadequacies... if he isn't satisfying you then you 2 aren't made for eachother... you either need to work out your sexual problems... or you gotta go separate ways..
 
Its a two way street and not all about one person. Like everything else in the relationship you have to work together on it. If he's satisfied with what you're doing for him, he needs to step up to the plate and satisfy you. I don't know if dumping him is the answer but definitely more talking or, if you're up to it, counselling. Good luck!
 
Be it far from me to tell anyone what to do BUT, Danielson, dump him. The fact that you have tried to communicate with him and he keeps throwing it back on you tells me that this man either needs to grow up or he's just using you. There are many older guys with the vitality to satisfy you. Don't settle for this kind of treatment. You need "intense" and this guy is not intense.
 
I know alot of couples that are sexually incompatable. They all have boyfriends on the side who satisfy them. It is more common than you think. Many use the excuse that everything else in their relationship is great, just not the bedroom.

I have dumped a BF in the past who had a very low sex drive. I was young and horny, he was older and cranky. He didn't see the problem, probably still doesn't. Then again, I stayed in a relationship alot longer than we should have because we both loved the sex! LOL

Sorry if these aren't the answers you were looking for. But there is no easy answer.
 
I find life way too short to waste time on a user like that. You have needs as well. Find someone that can fit you into his life like you can him.
 
It's all a bit complicated. Dumping wouldn't be my solution. I've been with an older guy for some time now and he has the mindset of being the "MAN" and is totally "TOP". He wants me to do all the ground work while he lays back and enjoys it all until the time comes for him to ram it home for completion. He doesn't like to touch my wang because he's the "MAN" and it's not something man do (we've had some conversations about that). And he doesn't suck at all.

BUT with the right seductive moves I've gotten him to jack me off and bottom for me on occassions and also to rim. Still no BJ from him though. So I guess what I'm saying is seduce him. Don't talk about it because that gives him a green light to be on the defensive. Just go for it. Or be content or discontent in how things are now.
 
The big point to me is that he just wants to fuck you and not do anything to get you going. That tells me all he wants is a tight hole for his tool.
They sell those at sex shops.

If you love him and want to stay together, tell him you need an open relationship. It isn't fair to you to be used, and not get anything in return.
Or insist you each get two nights a week where the other guy has to do what you ask to please you. If he doesn't agree to that, he's got a big problem, and while there's a small possibility it isn't the case, the problem is that he doesn't actually love you.
 
Get some couples counselling. Finding an impartial third person who can listen to each of you and possibly suggest ways you can reach a comfortable middle ground would be a first step, I think.

-T.
 
a relationship is a two way street where both parties meet each other's needs.

yours are not being met, and although you've addressed it, nothing has changed.

Sorry, but this isn't a good relationship for you, and it's time to officialy end it.
 
danielsan said:
This is the boyfriend talking now for all the negative comments there is always two sides to every story. I think if people masturbate four or five times a day to the computer, they have a problem especially if it affects the sex life they have with their partner. If Dan wanted to understand the issue he needs to tape himself during sex ,may not be pretty. I am glad to find this site now I know what my competition was for the past two years. Would you feel important knowing you were going to make love to your partner only finding him jerking off again to a computer screen when he knew you were coming over in ten minutes. Maybe its time for me to move on.
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Perhaps getting your own screen name and stop snooping.
 
danielsan said:
For the past 2 years my sex life with my BF really is not that good. When we first got together I wanted it all the time, but as time progressed, I lost interest because I know how it's going to be and how it's going to end. He is 10 yrs older and doesn't want it as much, as i do...or did, so that was a factor right there. It also always has to be his way with whatever we do. He's only made me cum one time by jerking me off. He wants to top, but doesn't want to do any prep work (ie fingers, rimming, etc.), so that doesn't happen. He also won't bottom for me. I usually suck him to completion, but I'm lucky if i get a bj that lasts more than 5 minutes...unless we are 69ing. I usually get myself off by jerking off.

So to sum it up, my sex life for the past two years involves me giving him head and me just jerking myself off.

What would you do in this situation? And yes we have "talked about it" in which he makes it out to be not as bad as it is.:help:
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Please show him your post. You are clearly frustrated, and I am concerned that he is too content with the way things are to change.

He may surprise you! Let him know how you feel about this issue; it is too important to ignore.
 
dysfunctional about sums this one up. i think the sex is the least of your problems. buy a puppy if you really want to stay together. worked for my parents.
 
Do you think he's moved on then?

From this dismal relationship, you mean?

Geez, I hope so!
 
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