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What would you do in this situation?

C

CowboyBob

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I went to visit a friend of mine and his wife last weekend. They live about 400 miles away, and don't see them very often anymore. I've known this guy since childhood, best man at his wedding, Godfather to his kids. My friend is addicted to TV. It's on all the time and on LOUD.

When I got there he was home, watching TV. While I sat there watching him watch TV, I was asking how he and the family have been, etc. We chatted a bit but he sat and stared at the TV the entire time.

His wife comes home, she and I sit and talk in the other room while he sits and watches TV. Time to go out. He turns on the radio LOUD while we drive to the restaurant. Sitting in the restaurant he's more interested in watching the TV on the wall than visiting.

We go to his son's house, and there they sit and watch TV, go back to his place, he turns on the TV and sits there till he goes to bed.

Saturday we go out and run some errands, his car radio on LOUD. In the afternoon he sits and watches TV. We go out to dinner at a restaurant that doesn't have a TV (thank God). I mention I've never seen Forrest Gump, so when we get back to his house he puts in Forrest Gump and there we sit and watch it. He's commenting on the movie all the time so I can't hear what the actors are saying until I told him I'l trying to watch the movie, then he shuts up.

Sunday we go to his folks' place for brunch. They're sitting there watching TV, volume LOUD! We eat, then they all go back to the TV until I tell them I think it's time for me to drive home. When we get back to my friend's house he turns on the TV and its there until I poke my head in the door and say thanks for the nice weekend.

Does this happen to you?........ you go to visit someone and they sit there staring at the goddamn TV and it's on LOUD and you have to talk over the volume? I know of a few people who do this. When I have company I would rather sit and visit with them than stare at TV. I hate television and I think it's going to be a while before I take that long drive to visit them again.
 
If it isn't tv, it's the internet. And if it's neither of those it's alcohol. And if it's not alcohol, it's drugs.

People have been preferring to check out rather than live for a while now.
 
I don't mind TV being on in the background or watching a show you both watch together, but for it to be the main draw of a visit where someone drove hours to visit the other person is rude. I don't blame you for not wanting to visit there again.
 
It was rude to do that and you are a guest visiting, and send him some hearing aid info to his wife....

I wonder why did someone not tell him to lower it down... or do they and he just does it anyway?
 
I've never had it happen for a whole weekend, but I've been invited over and then found that one (or more) people were more interested in the TV than my company. And I'm fine with that - I assume I'm not all that interesting, anyway. (To others, I mean. *I* think I kick ass.) If there are still others there who want to interact, I simply suggest going somewhere else and conversing. It might be another room, or the backyard, or a coffee shop. And I don't hold it against anybody. Not the life I'd choose, but I doubt they'd want my life, either.

Lex
 
My brother..... who I commented about in another thread....... used to come over to my house on Saturday mornings about 11am, turn on the TV and sit motionless in the chair staring at the TV until late evening. He would do the same thing on Sundays. He did this every weekend monopolizing my living room until I told him to stop coming over and doing that. He, of course, went ballistic when I told him that. Hey, it's my house, television and electricity. My friends didn't want to come over because of his television addiction. He doesn't come over anymore.

When my Dan and I would be together or go on a trip, we never turned on the TV unless there was some news item we wanted to see. One trip we went on for two weeks never turned on the TV except to watch Will & Grace.

I have another friend I travel with who constantly watches TV. We're in Chicago and he wants to sit and watch TV instead of doing things in that exciting city. Once while sitting in Chicago I was telling how Dan and I never watched TV when we're away from home, he responded "okay", then proceeded to turn on the TV and detached himself. I went into my bedroom and read. He became upset and called me "antisocial" but then I reminded him of how he turned on the TV for 5 hours and detached himself.

Television addiction!
 
racer2438 said:
It was rude to do that and you are a guest visiting, and send him some hearing aid info to his wife....

I wonder why did someone not tell him to lower it down... or do they and he just does it anyway?
Click to expand...

What did the OP do that was rude?
 
Sometimes when I would go with my Grandmother to visit her brother (this was many years ago), there would be a TV on all the time that my cousin was watching. Grandmother would be visiting with her brother and sister-in-law, but the cousin just watched TV. She's handicapped, and at that time (when both her parents were alive and codependently mollycoddling her), she was practically vegetative; and she watched CNN all day long, LOUD, even though back then it only had about four hours' worth of programming and repeated endlessly (this was before FOX News, I'm sure she'd have watched that instead). During commercials, she read romance novels.

But in any case, it was better than talking to her... after all, what can someone talk about when they do nothing all day but watch TV and read pulp romance?

In your situation, I think I would refrain from visiting him in his home again. Invite him over to your place and hide the TV. Or, on the other hand, some relationships are better long-distance. It sounds like you have a better relationship with his wife, anyway... call her up whenever you get a chance, that way you keep in touch with the family without intruding on your friend's quality time with his beloved.
 
It's the opposite here. People talk too much and too loud about gibberish that doing elsewhere is rendered awkward.

Twice a year my uncle, with him family, visits my folks in Jakarta. When that happens, the whole big family in Jakarta goes to his house he owns here and has a small feast. Strange that most of the people talk and talk and talk endlessly while the food starts to decay and nobody seems to notice the booze on the table until there are only my father, me, my direct sibling, and my uncle left. Damn I can start a league of my own.
 
Agreed, willilikeit. If he can't be nice to guests in his house, to me, it's a fail of character: He's too busy watching TV and being in his own little world to be bothered with entertaining a guest.

Frankly, from where I sit, if you never went back there, it's his loss and your gain.
 
That reminds me my grandmother, when she was young there were only one tv in the village and everyone went to that house to watch it. When she got alzheimer she thought that not everyone has a tv in his home so she insisted to turn on the tv when we had visits.
 
Usually when we meet with a few people to watch a movie and it's not really a super exciting movie - suddenly everybody is talking and nobody watching the movie anymore :D

But seriously .. if I drove 400 miles to see someone who just prefers to watch TV - I'd stop visiting him.
 
My ex used to always be on his laptop or the internet on his phone or texting. We used to fight about it ALL the time. I threw his laptop across the room once. Boy, did he flip out when I did that! I thought he was gonna beat me, lol. His behavior never got better and it was one of the things that made me leave him.
 
LMAO. Pretty funny story.

CowboyBob said:
I went to visit a friend of mine and his wife last weekend. They live about 400 miles away, and don't see them very often anymore. I've known this guy since childhood, best man at his wedding, Godfather to his kids. My friend is addicted to TV. It's on all the time and on LOUD.

When I got there he was home, watching TV. While I sat there watching him watch TV, I was asking how he and the family have been, etc. We chatted a bit but he sat and stared at the TV the entire time.

His wife comes home, she and I sit and talk in the other room while he sits and watches TV. Time to go out. He turns on the radio LOUD while we drive to the restaurant. Sitting in the restaurant he's more interested in watching the TV on the wall than visiting.

We go to his son's house, and there they sit and watch TV, go back to his place, he turns on the TV and sits there till he goes to bed.

Saturday we go out and run some errands, his car radio on LOUD. In the afternoon he sits and watches TV. We go out to dinner at a restaurant that doesn't have a TV (thank God). I mention I've never seen Forrest Gump, so when we get back to his house he puts in Forrest Gump and there we sit and watch it. He's commenting on the movie all the time so I can't hear what the actors are saying until I told him I'l trying to watch the movie, then he shuts up.

Sunday we go to his folks' place for brunch. They're sitting there watching TV, volume LOUD! We eat, then they all go back to the TV until I tell them I think it's time for me to drive home. When we get back to my friend's house he turns on the TV and its there until I poke my head in the door and say thanks for the nice weekend.

Does this happen to you?........ you go to visit someone and they sit there staring at the goddamn TV and it's on LOUD and you have to talk over the volume? I know of a few people who do this. When I have company I would rather sit and visit with them than stare at TV. I hate television and I think it's going to be a while before I take that long drive to visit them again.
Click to expand...
 
you can't change people, and you'll make yourself miserable trying. that's how he is.
 
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