What's it like to be in love?

[IceColdLover]

Or should I say, what's it like to be in a relationship? I have loved and lost, but never have dated...ever. The first time I fell in love with a guy was in 2008 and that lasted not even 3 years when the friendship soured out because of a "mistake" I made and the other guy not having the same feelings for me in return (which is fine, glad the friendship ended when it did, he never cared for me and he ended up being a real creep and an asshole to everyone).

The second time I fell in love with a guy was with a friend I have known for a year and a half. The feelings grew as we got close and I have met and hung out with him on a few occasions and plan to hang out more before the winter. He loves me but not in a relationship sense, even though I'd love more than anything to date him, but I am content right now with just being best friends.

I also have feelings for 3 other guys. One is a friend that lives in the south and have known him for almost a year or so. I plan on meeting him next year when I get enough money for a trip and have a ride. He knows how much I love him but doesn't see me as boyfriend material. We've had fights and reconciliations, but we remain on good terms.

Another guy I like lives in Michigan and is a few years older than me. He is very nice to me and listens to me when I am going through dilemmas. He knows I have sexual feelings, and possibly romantic feelings, for him, and he is fine with that, but wants to just be friends. I plan on meeting him too once I find a way up there.

Lastly, this younger guy who lives back home said he would date me, but the issue being we live an hour apart and having no way to see each other. I plan on meeting him since he lives the closest, once he isn't busy with college. He is very cute, sweet and outgoing. I think I am starting to feel for him.

I have been friendzoned all my life but I am wanting that to change and hopefully before I become like that 40-year-old virgin. The one I've known for a year and a half is the one I have the most feelings for, with the one in the south being a very close second. I like how these guys treat me and how easy it is for us to talk to one another.

Again, not looking for any advice, just wanting your perspective on what it's like to be madly in love and being with a man in that special way. I will figure out my own love life in my own time, just got to worry about me first, got so much going on.

 

[Disturbance]

My opinion is the you are being played by most of theese guys. They enjoy the attention and care you provide, yet they refuse to give you what you need. None of them likes you in a way that you'd like, with the possible exception of the guy who lives 1 hour apart from you (BTW 1 hour of traveling is bullshit if you REALLY want to see someone, so I think he is playing you.)

Just try being honst to them, and express what you want, or dare to stick to your opinions and it will be revealed that they like you, until you conform to their needs, but otherwise, they have no time for you.

Gt out of theese abusive and exploiting bonds and look for someone who actively seeks you out. Don't be afraid to get away from people who are not what you need.

 

[IceColdLover]

My opinion is the you are being played by most of theese guys. They enjoy the attention and care you provide, yet they refuse to give you what you need. None of them likes you in a way that you'd like, with the possible exception of the guy who lives 1 hour apart from you (BTW 1 hour of traveling is bullshit if you REALLY want to see someone, so I think he is playing you.)

Just try being honst to them, and express what you want, or dare to stick to your opinions and it will be revealed that they like you, until you conform to their needs, but otherwise, they have no time for you.

Gt out of theese abusive and exploiting bonds and look for someone who actively seeks you out. Don't be afraid to get away from people who are not what you need.

I'm not too caught up in wanting to date anyone at the moment. If it happens, it happens. If not, I can live with that. My best friend and I have it good even though we aren't anything more than friends, so I am grateful for that. These guys care about me, so that's all that matters. If they didn't, I wouldn't be friends with them. I'm not one who asks the world of people, so it's fine if I am not one to be dated.

 

[Disturbance]

I'm not too caught up in wanting to date anyone at the moment. If it happens, it happens. If not, I can live with that. My best friend and I have it good even though we aren't anything more than friends, so I am grateful for that. These guys care about me, so that's all that matters. If they didn't, I wouldn't be friends with them. I'm not one who asks the world of people, so it's fine if I am not one to be dated.

Alright, just keep you eyes open. Take care.

 

[IceColdLover]

Alright, just keep you eyes open. Take care.

Thanks, I will. My best friend even said he wants me to go and make new friends and find a man to love. I really only have feelings for him, but I know we can't be together. I will take his advice though and see what else is out there. Not sure if I should date the younger guy or not, even though he said we have things in common and I have enough humility and humor that he enjoys. I like talking to him too and making him laugh. Sometimes though I feel like I am "cheating on" my best friend whom I have a lot of love for by having feelings for other guys and wanting to love and date them too. I need to figure this all out before my head explodes.

 

[Maklaar13]

Being in love is brilliant! It is different for everyone and I must say you either know you are in love or you can be totally oblivious to the fact until it hits you right over the head. I am lucky enough to be in love with my partner of 31 years, now I know what being in love is. Whenever I think about all those other times that I thought it was love, now I know it was not. It was infatuation and general feeling of liking someone a lot. Like the song goes "Love comes from the most unexpected places". Way too often I see and hear of so many wonderful people looking for love; I tell you this much, love is something you find when you are not looking for it.

 

[altlover85]

Being in love is for me is about having a strong bond and feeling joy when you are around the one you love. It's about being selfless at times and caring for the other person's well-being, and doing things that you may not like, but you know that they will benefit the one you love. For me, it's generally a pretty calming energy and feeling.

Being infatuated with someone is what many people think of as being in love. It's a much more intense energy and gives more of a rush, but ultimately it is very hard, if not impossible to sustain over the long-term. When I'm infatuated with someone, everything is heightened and I tend to feel giddy and happy.

I think it's possible to rekindle that spark and feel infatuated again during the course of a long-term relationship, but it's not always easy because the practicalities of everyday life get in the way.