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What's stopping me?

S

soldierofglory

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Hey boys,

A little help here. Recently I have a crush on a cute guy in my college, and this means really a crush.

Unfortunately (and fortunately at the same time so that I can dampen my crush) he's straight, so I won't bother of becoming his partner. Not even one thoughts of that. But... I just *want* to be his friend, and that's all. Nothing else there.

Because, he's also one of my best friend's friend, and my coursemate's associates, so I do often see him in my college although he's in a different course.

However, I can't get myself to talk to him. Most of the times, I would hesitate. Must I start or not? Must I not start? Must I? Or Must not?? And, I would get flustered and my heart raced everytime I got near him. I *do* really wish to just start a conversation with him,... but there is my fears telling me that I could stammer or falter later.

Agh... stupid crush is really torturing me. Why's the feelings? ](*,)
 
You will stammer or falter when you talk with him. Or trip over your feet. Or spill your drink. Eventually, if not right away. We're not always brilliant conversationalists or extremely coordinated. We're human beings. And if this guy would reject someone based on that person stumbling over words, then he's a pretty exacting person who presumably doesn't have many friends.

The true question is do you REALLY "just want to be his friend, and that's all". You're already somewhat obsessed with this guy. Imagine now being closer to him every day. Sitting next to him at lunch. Going to parties with him and other friends. Chatting with him after class. Are you certain that you can handle "just being friends"?

I ask because your reluctance may (MAY!) be telling you something. There tends to be this "take a tiny step" game that us humans do, especially gays when it comes to straight guys. We just want to be friends - that's all. Until we're friends, that is. Then we just want to see him with his shirt off. That's all! Just him barechested for a second. Until we see him barechested. Then we just want to see his bare ass. That's all! Why can't he understand that that's all we want?

...and so it goes, until we find the boundary he won't go past. At that point, he's an inflexible asshole, and he considers us a manipulative fairy. Hard feelings and bad vibes all around.

So think hard about this. Say he'll be your friend, but he'll NEVER EVER touch you, hold you, show you his cock, whatever. Are you still cool with that?

If so, go say "hi". :)

Lex
 
That had happened to me years ago, same situation. In the end, I went ahead and introduced myself, we actually became quite close for a while (as a friend, of course, since he's straight). After a while the novelty factor wore off and I just lost interests in him. We later grew apart.

Don't know if its of any help, but I think it doesn't hurt to say hi, just don't let yourself acting all needy.
 
G-Lexington said:
...The true question is do you REALLY "just want to be his friend, and that's all". You're already somewhat obsessed with this guy. Imagine now being closer to him every day. Sitting next to him at lunch. Going to parties with him and other friends. Chatting with him after class. Are you certain that you can handle "just being friends"?

I ask because your reluctance may (MAY!) be telling you something. There tends to be this "take a tiny step" game that us humans do, especially gays when it comes to straight guys. We just want to be friends - that's all. Until we're friends, that is. Then we just want to see him with his shirt off. That's all! Just him barechested for a second. Until we see him barechested. Then we just want to see his bare ass. That's all! Why can't he understand that that's all we want?

...and so it goes, until we find the boundary he won't go past. At that point, he's an inflexible asshole, and he considers us a manipulative fairy. Hard feelings and bad vibes all around.

So think hard about this. Say he'll be your friend, but he'll NEVER EVER touch you, hold you, show you his cock, whatever. Are you still cool with that?

If so, go say "hi". :)

Lex
Click to expand...

Well, yes. I have already actually dealt with a crush with one of my another former classmate (who is also my friend) who is also studying in my college. We are still great friends, and the only thing to dampen my crush is to do something else.

I'm dead sure that he'll not touch or whatever thing possible me since I'm sure he's straight. I'm already cool with that. :D
 
Lex has called you on two very different things that you have said-
A. You want to be his friend
B. You have a crush on him

I agree with Lex. You're not being honest with yourself about what's going on here.

Friends get crushes on each other all the time. It's no biggie. It's when you waste time with crushes on straight guys instead of finding another gay guy who will love you back- that's when there is a problem.

These boards are just full of gay guys who have crushes on their straight friends. And not very many of them seem to end well. It's usually the gay guy that ends up with a broken heart.
 
Hey there,

Finally, by chance, I did actually talked to him. Wow, I didn't even stammer, falter or whatever, it just went that way.

And, of course, all my crushes are dampened. Fortunately. haha. :)
 
Should I be mean and straightforward? Should I not?

Lol, I'm not trying to burst your bubble here... or maybe I am.

He's straight. Get over it.

The more you try to get closer to the edge, the easier you'll fall off.

You're basically trying to get to know him, get closer to him, possibly becoming best friends with him...and then what?

You'll just end up falling in too deeply to get yourself out. Crawl out now when you still have the chance. :)
 
Eternaldarkness said:
Should I be mean and straightforward? Should I not?

Lol, I'm not trying to burst your bubble here... or maybe I am.

He's straight. Get over it.

The more you try to get closer to the edge, the easier you'll fall off.

You're basically trying to get to know him, get closer to him, possibly becoming best friends with him...and then what?

You'll just end up falling in too deeply to get yourself out. Crawl out now when you still have the chance. :)
Click to expand...

I see - thanks! I thought of this way too afterwards. I will back off from him and do something else in the meantime. :D
 
Life is simply too short and your free time in which to pursue amorous affairs must be limited as well.

Why waste such a scarce commodity?

SC
 
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