What's the difference between d /l and in the closet?

[bendted]

I was the unofficial photographer for a gay gathering (non-sexual). An old queer (70s) said he'd like to "keep things on the down low" and asked me not to post any pics of him on the Club's website. So, what's the difference between being in the closet and on down low?
He doesn't have a bullshit wife or girlfriend (never had) so he's not living a double life, which would place him squarely in the closet, but at his age does he really think "no one knows" and it's necessary to keep things on the d / l, whatever that means?

 

[SilverWolf]

They're the same thing.

What he said.

 

[gsdx]

'Down low' in this case means that, even though he might be 'out of the closet', he doesn't want his photo posted on the internet.

 

[Lukeee]

I thought that down low was only for black guys.

 

[SilverWolf]

Not exactly.

In the closet is when you know you're gay but the circumstances that be are preventing you from fully coming out. You fully intend to come out once the time is right.

The down low is when you know you're at least attracted to men but you're too much of a chickenshit to own up to these desires. So what you do is you lie to yourself and everyone around you. Pretend that you could never be someone who could like men and denounce everyone who does. Enter a fake relationship with a woman just to further this illusion you built. Lie to her as well and have her believe that she's the only one for you; all while enjoying some naked male ass on the weekends and every other major holiday. A DL has no intentions of admitting their homosexuality. A man on the down-low will go so far as to deny having homosexual tendencies even though he fucks guys [STRIKE]sometimes[/STRIKE] most of the time. The way a down-low guy sees it, it's not gay if the other guy is the one taking the dick in his ass.

In a nutshell...

You just called a lot of the people around here in the closest on the down low.

 

[SilverWolf]

But how can you be on the down low if you're in the closet? Don't you actually have to step outside of it to get down low?

I'm just saying if the closet is merely waiting for the right time to come out and down low denies your attraction to men for the foreseeable future....


Then could we call all those who won't come out because they don't want to be associated with the sinful alternative gay lifestyle full of limp wrist sissies and no real men as on the down low instead of in the closet?

 

[Esquire0399]

But how can you be on the down low if you're in the closet? Don't you actually have to step outside of it to get down low?

Not if you have a closet with a basement built in.

Good definition by the way. Sounds like something right out of one of my mom's books.

 

[bendted]

Uh, ask former NYC Mayor Ed Koch

LOL...He's a 'confirmed bachelor.'

 

[jdbadboy]

A down low guy might stick his tongue in another man's mouth but that doesn't mean he kisses men.

 

[WillMc88]

Umm you don't have to "fully intend to come out once the time is right" to be in the closet. It's simply the opposite of being out of the closet.

And the 'down low' is more commonly used by gay men in the black community. I don't know how it originated.

 

[Rex]

D/L is for bi black guys or guys who aren't intending on coming out and usually may be in a relationship with a female.

Closet means they know they're gay, and so do a lot of other people but they're not ready to come out but know they want to.

 

[AngelFromAbove]

They are similar, but Down Low is often used in African American communities. Also, Down Low is a guy who is sexually active with other men, while In The Closet does not carry that same connotation.