What's The Weirdest Thing A Guest Has Done In Your House?

[Reischfleger]

A guest’s son took one of my favorite action figures I had in a guest room. I saw him playing with it at another friend's barbecue a few months later

 

[rareboy]

Fucked themselves silly in the afternoon in their bedroom with the windows open.

 

[Kahaih]

Clean my toilet.

My little sister has spent most of her life heels-to-Jesus but freaks out at the thought of sitting on someone else's toilet

 

[NotHardUp1]

About five or six years ago, I invited my lead engineer and his wife to dinner at my home during Christmas week. He and I often ate breakfast together on a Saturday or Sunday, as he is an excellent and intelligent conversationalist. They didn't have any family gathering, and I loved to cook. This was while I yet lived in Albuquerque. I prepared food for about three days to be ready, although I cannot tell you now what.

They arrived and she brought in a 16 oz. Mountain Dew in a plastic bottle, and it seemed odd, like one of those people who cannot stop going to convenience stores, for, um, 16 oz. sodas every day. He was about 60, and she probably 45. We began visiting, and she kept texting on her mobile phone. She went outside, came back, and we were ready to eat, and she brought her soda bottle to the table, and her phone, but then left again during the meal, more than once, to go outside again. There was some family drama with her and her mother and her son. It seemed like something my family would have done, which surprised me, since I thought these were normal people.

It pretty much ruined the dinner, and because she couldn't ignore her petty squabbles for two hours in order to be a wife to her husband and put etiquette ahead of drama.

My siblings know better than to bring up that kind of pettiness to me, even on the phone. People who live in drama of their own making assume the world also does.

 

[TickTockMan]

Covered my bathroom and towels in shit.

 

[NotHardUp1]

Was that vandalism, or "explosive decompression"?

 

[Alistair]

Keep in mind that he’s an ex-roommate, but my friend (straight, the kid’s bio-dad) takes a bath when he comes over. He’s not spending the night, just visiting me and his kid. I think that’s a little strange, I can’t even imagine doing that at my parent’s house.

 

[LoveMyPeppermill]

My little sister has spent most of her life heels-to-Jesus but freaks out at the thought of sitting on someone else's toilet

"Heels-to-Jesus" ?

 

[Kahaih]

/\ LOL

Sex position. Getting fucked laying on your back with your heels pointed at the sky.

Some like to rest their ankles on the fucker's shoulders.

 

[NotHardUp1]

Keep in mind that he’s an ex-roommate, but my friend (straight, the kid’s bio-dad) takes a bath when he comes over. He’s not spending the night, just visiting me and his kid. I think that’s a little strange, I can’t even imagine doing that at my parent’s house.

Do you think he's being a cock-tease, or just preferring your bath to his (maybe his isn't clean, or doesn't fit him, or is cold when he gets out)?

 

[Alistair]

Do you think he's being a cock-tease, or just preferring your bath to his (maybe his isn't clean, or doesn't fit him, or is cold when he gets out)?

He just says his back hurts so he’s going to soak

Today he was using my spatula to scratch his back

 

[NotHardUp1]

So, you think it's just what he says? He's just using it as a heat therapy?

And you don't have to, but I don't think you answered my question. It was asking what you think is going on.

 

[Alistair]

We’ve been best friends for over 20 years so just think he’s comfortable here. I just wouldn’t do it

 

[NotHardUp1]

Ahh. Got it. Thanks. It is an interesting case.

By comparison, my friend who is the father of my godchildren once had stayed overnight at my house with his wife. Both were in their late 20's, and I in my 30's. He had to change clothes for some reason and he took off his pants and underwear in front of me and her in the kitchen as he did. She scolded him, but he demurred, and I think to this day, he was simply trying to tell me he didn't fear me as a gay man. Just my thought. He loves me in a brotherly way.

 

[TickTockMan]

Was that vandalism, or "explosive decompression"?

My mother owned a group home with her partner for mentally delayed adults. They came to town for the state fair with a client. The client I think was embarrassed to use the bathroom. Right before we left to go to the fair though he did use it. Hours later when we got back I went to shower before going to bed and discovered he tried to clean it all up with the towels he had. The room was still coated in shit.

 

[NotHardUp1]

How very sad. He probably felt shame at his inability. It is hard to imagine the world that the mentally impaired face. We take for granted going to the bathroom. That's kind of heartbreaking.

 

[cabinfever]

This interior decorator came to the home of me and my ex and let me know he was after my man

I had been trying to leave with the path of least resistance (my ex was a persistent fucker and I wanted a clean break) and Mr interior design homewrecker was my ticket out!

He came over to me months later when I was working with a dramatic bullshit apology and I thanked him and gave him my blessings

 

[TickTockMan]

How very sad. He probably felt shame at his inability. It is hard to imagine the world that the mentally impaired face. We take for granted going to the bathroom. That's kind of heartbreaking.

I was upset at the time, but I got over it quick. I also was bathroom shy for a long time as well. I just wish he would have told my mom or Sara my mother's partner at the time.

 

[Vannie]

I can't think of a thing.

Except maybe a cousin who was not all there who pulled his dick out on my brand new sofa and started masturbating while telling me how horny he was and would I suck him? He even said how I should wrap my lips real tight around his cock. Like I need instructions

So after I said no he asked me to fuck him. I said no. He finally asked...not even a hand job?

Persistent fucker.

I was almost contemplating putting some banjo music on and getting out a big jar of Vaseline.

 

[Peloso]

^ I would have gone for it.