Whats wrong with me? Or whats wrong with my OkCupid profile?

[NCGayTeen]

Ok so when I first started OkCupid I was doing pretty good. The first guy who messaged me was looking for sex, so I told him no but we can talk. We talk for a little, then he stops out of nowhere, Im guessing because of the sex thing.
Then, this Really great guy who goes to college right down the street from mine and a wannabe cop messages me back. We talk for a week or two, he says he wants to stay in NC and hates California, which is my dream home, and he rants about how terrible it is for cops and stuff. This was a big turn off, but as Im writing my "rebuttal" he messages me saying how he hopes he didnt scare me off, saying he just has strong views about it.
This shows me he likes me and cares if I like him back.
I quickly explain what I was doing and we keep talking. Then I ask him bluntly if he was in the slightest interested in me in more of a relationship type way possibly, I make it clear im not asking for a date or commitment from just talking online. He tells me he likes starting as friends and Im thinking cool and say so to him.
Then he deletes his profile, I find he made a new one, his old profile says he has done this before for other reasons, I message his new profile yet I get no reply. Time passes and I find another Really cute guy.
I was amazed with the guys who replied and wanted to talk with me.
We talk and Im really digging him and he send me his cell phone number and says he wants to go clubbing and singing and dancing and stuff. I tell him I like to go a little slower and my cell phone broke,which is all true,needless to say, he never messages me again.
This was ok, even though he was super cute to me and a great guy, we were like 24 miles away and I have yet to get a car.
I feel like im at this still childish point where I dont even know if I could handle a relationship, it would be my first.
Now I cant find anyone who is into me. Ive even narrowed all my searches down to 7 guys who have yet to reply. Well one has and claims im too young. I hid the searches based on if they like guys my age or not, if I feel I have a shot with them, and if they already rejected me.
Im at the point where Im thinking, did I say too much, too little in my profile, am I ugly? I know im not perfect, but im working on it.
Please help
Im NCGayTeen on OkCupid by the way.

 

[Seasoned]

I think you're being too eager to find a soulmate when I think you ought to be looking for fun. In the scheme of things you've interacted with a couple of handfuls of men. When shopping for fruit we pick through more than that. Keep doing what your doing and in addition do what you can to be around other gays through clubs and social organizations, for example.

 

[NCGayTeen]

WellI guess I see where your coming from, its just not the only site ive been on and Im tired of waiting but I guess I cant control this

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WellI guess I see where your coming from, its just not the only site ive been on and Im tired of waiting but I guess I cant control this

 

[vidarr]

I was in the OP's situation before, without a car or a place of my own. I think there's nothing wrong with looking for a serious relationship at a young age.

But in order to be ready for that right guy, you need to get your life in order. Get a good paying job so you can save up money and get a car, your own place... THEN get a boyfriend. I learned that the strain those little things put on a relationship can make or break it sometimes.

 

[loveguys72]

There's nothing wrong with you having standards and being clear about what you're looking for. So, don't be afraid to keep on looking and saying hi to different guys. Eventually, either through your online explorations or just in the course of living, you'll find a guy who shares your philosophy about relationships and respects your boundaries.

I wish you good luck.

 

[Rolyo85]

Expectations and requirements tend to freak people out and push them away. The guy who wanted to go out clubbing for example - why did you not go? Just to hang out, it doesn't mean anything, you're not proposing to each other by going to a bar and having a fun evening. Maybe he's after ass. When he makes his move, you tell him you're not interested in this right now. Either way you end up with a potential friend and maybe more, and at the very least with a fun evening. Instead, you want to "take things slow" as if this is a science project. Go into this with your heart, not your fears, plans, hopes, dreams and expectations. Dating is chaotic and clumsy and impulsive, and that's what makes it wonderful. Carefully shopping for boyfriends is... unproductive.

 

[NCGayTeen]

I understand, but things are always a lot more complex than they seem when they are happening to other people

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I understand, but things are always a lot more complex than they seem when they are happening to other people

 

[loveguys72]

I understand, but things are always a lot more complex than they seem when they are happening to other people

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I understand, but things are always a lot more complex than they seem when they are happening to other people

Like I said, don't worry so much over it. Be you, do what feels right and comfortable, and everything else will fall in place. Last thing you want is a guy who won't respect your boundaries, because it means he won't respect YOU.

Good luck, chin up!