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What's your relationship like with your parents?

syoBsUtsuJ

syoBsUtsuJ

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My mom just stopped over to drop off some homemade cinnamon rolls, and she told me, "I love you even though you're gay."

The "even though" part got me thinking: how many other guys have to go through this. Now I came out to everybody as being bisexual a decade ago and totally gay five years later. I even have a foster son from the state, so if the state thinks highly enough of me, why does mom still feel compelled to sneak in such snippent remarks?
 
My parents have been entirely supportive, and only express concerned about hard it's going to be for me. My mom actually said that "it would so much easier for you if you were just gay". She would have no problem if that were the case. My father is no different. They're both extraordinarily open minded people.
 
I've never cared if they like it or not and have told them that. We're all pretty strong minded people in my family so it makes for interesting get together's but I can hold my own.

Just because they have the tag "family" attached to them, does not mean they get to treat you like shit. Tell them that and you should be able to get on fine as adults.
 
my dad is dead and i am close to my mom but i have not told her that i am gay. i live in another part of the country and only see her a few times a year.
 
syoBsUtsuJ said:
My mom just stopped over to drop off some homemade cinnamon rolls, and she told me, "I love you even though you're gay."

The "even though" part got me thinking: how many other guys have to go through this. Now I came out to everybody as being bisexual a decade ago and totally gay five years later. I even have a foster son from the state, so if the state thinks highly enough of me, why does mom still feel compelled to sneak in such snippent remarks?
Click to expand...

And how about a reply like, "l love you too, mom, even though you're not totally supportive of me?" Just because they're parents doesn't mean you've got to take shit. And I am writing as a gay man AND as a parent.
 
My mom and step-dad have a great relationship, if tenuous. I merely posed this post for others to share. Per your "And how about a reply like, "l love you too, mom, even though your not totally supportive of me?" Just because they're parents doesn't mean you've got to take shit. And I am writing as a gay man AND as a parent." post ... please look before you leap.

As a parent, we tend to judge more readily before knowing in favor of the child. I am indeed a "father" if only foster, and I am looking to adopt him.
 
syoBsUtsuJ said:
My mom just stopped over to drop off some homemade cinnamon rolls, and she told me, "I love you even though you're gay."
Click to expand...

Maybe she just worded it badly? Do her actions show that she is placing conditions on her love in any way?
It sounds like she loves you, to me.

My parents are dead, but my father would never have accepted it and would have rejected me. My mother was oblivious in many ways. While she could understand two guys having sex, she could never grasp the idea of two guys loving each other and living as any other committed couple.
 
I'm sorry. I didn't mean to get into an argument. You posed two questions and I was speaking to the last, the one which asked why your mom would respond the way she does. I don't think it is right or fair for you to have to sit with that remark.

As for me, my dad is dead and my mom is as accepting as she can be. As for me as a parent, I have two-way communication. If I step on toes they tell me, and vice versa. Your sensitivity makes for a good parent. Hope all is well with you and your child.
 
my mom is really supportive of me and everything, but my dad refuses to think about it or talk about me being gay.... frustrating but it causes no arguments, so overall pretty good
 
When the social worker brought ******* over, I told both of them that I was gay and asked if either had a problem with with it. In the great state (sarcastically said) of Wisconsin, nothing was found, and now I am in the process of adopting him.

Whoda thunk that by 27 I'd have a 13 y.o. son ... I must be quite the straight horn dog in an alternate reality.
 
You have a lot to be proud of.
 
They Know....My mom and my 2 older sisters. Never could hide it! It's never really talked about until they get really mad @ me for some reason and then its all about calling me a fag when we get into it :grrr:...only My sisters......never my mom.

All 3 are so full of hate. :( "Not the I wish all the gays would die kinda hate", but more like eww Why would Someone choose/want to be like THAT?

All of them are very set in their ways. ](*,)](*,)

I never really talk to them anyway....not about anything real....not even my mom.:(
 
Whole family knows, whole family is cool with it. I still sense a bit of hesitation in both my brother and my father, but they plow ahead and say and do the right things. Which is what's really important, I think.

Lex
 
He called me "dad" on Christmas Day thanking me for his gift ... my heart was fit to burst!
 
*** already knows "EVERYTHING (except for when he doesn't), so it's already interesting. I just wanted to get him out of the house-to-house/family-to-family deal (that's no way to grow up). We butted heads for the first five months, and I never heard "faggot" in my house as often as I did then. We all lash out as best as we can, and I know he didn't mean it per se, and now we're family. Heck, I think he gets along better with my family than I do!
 
Syo,
congrats on your son. Oh boy you could have some adventerous and/or fun years ahead. Good thing you put it all out there at the beginning.
I have a son and never really thought to hide anything from him, but when he was aroung 14 or so he kind of pushed the issue and I finally told him ... "Yes, I'm Gay" ... what a relief.
As for my parents ... they've always accepted the fact that I was gay and when I did finally come out to them ... I got the response ... " Well FINALLY ... we've known it all along."
Well that was years ago and wish to say that all is well, I've put quiet a bit of emotional distance between myself and family, not because I'm gay but because they all are abusive, self centered liars.
I haven't spoken to my sis in about 5 years, don't know what I did to piss her off. She wouldn't take or retun my calls on the holidays or birthdays so I just stopped making them.
Mom is getting to be just the routine calls on holikdays and such .... seems to a bit forced lately, She hasn't pressed me to come visit anymore and seems a bit weird when I even mention anything about a new "Friend"
Sorry to let off so much here ...
I do wish you the best and it's nice to hear a nice sucess story as yours.
One last word of advice ... Don't let anyone help your son buy a 68 Mustang once he has his license and any bank accounts he may have or need untill he is 18, make them joint accounts requiring two signatures on any withdrawls and NO ATM withdrawls ALLOWED.
 
I think my relationship with my parents is pretty good. It may not be the closest one in the world, but they never had a problem with me being gay and have been nothing but welcoming to my boyfriend. When I came out they just said that they loved me and that it didn't change anything, I had been who I was all my life. After that, though, we never really discussed it any further. It kinda bothered me at first, but now I think it's probably because it was just such a non-issue...

They showed up at the Pride parade last year, which surprised me a little bit. Not because I thought they'd be ashamed to be there or anything like that, just because it isn't really like them to do stuff like that... I don't think they ever showed up for my school plays, for example.

I agree with DakotaKen, check her reaction to "I love you too, even though you're straight!" :-)
 
syoBsUtsuJ said:
He called me "dad" on Christmas Day thanking me for his gift ... my heart was fit to burst!
Click to expand...

That brought tears of joy to me - you are indeed a very lucky man and your soon-to-be son is one lucky boy too!! :D
 
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