When someone says, I need some space? Is it code for I'm breaking up w/- you!?

[Twinkie]

I recently came out of a 5Yr Relationship March this year, it was realistically over April 2014 when My Ex & I, split the first time... Any way Jan. this year I was matched w/- a guy on Compatible Partners, communication started out great, but went dead after 3 weeks when he blocked communication after I took awhile to respond...

March this year I found him on Scruff & we got talking & eventually met in person... Things were alittle tricky, but we seemed to be getting on well, he eventually confessed he had feelings for me as I did him, he said we would just take it slow till I felt I was ready for more (his been single 3Yrs this Sept.) - he was with his last partner for 10Yrs, but he was cheated on badly! So has some understandable insecurities!

Everything was going fine till last Tues. 21/7/15, I was to take him out for dinner Sun.12/7/15, but he cancelled on me & seemed rather distant... I found out a now "former" friend of mine had been "meddling" in the background, & twisting things that were said to suit themselves!
This he confided in me Mon. 20/7/15 there was a lot of he said / she said going on, he wasn't sure whom to believe & she had been ringing him constantly harrassing him at work!

Things have gone sour betwn this "former" friend & I as she has defrauded me of $5000 for cancer treatment (which I now don't think she even has!) & is refusing to start paying instalments to pay it back, I have since found out she also tried to hit up the guy I've been seeing for $10'000, he automatically distanced himself from her & told me, I wish you had never introduced me to her! (He wasn't the only one wishing He'd never met her, so did I!)

Fast forward to Tues. 21/7/15, when everything went into meltdown, he said with this "former" friends meddling, he no longer wanted to be in a relationship w/- me as he couldn't cope w/- it being a constant 3Way relationship with he interfering when it should just be between he & I, I agreed she needed to "butt" out & leave it to us to grow, he said due to the stess of it all he needs some space...

Later that night after a 3way chat between the meddling bitch, he & I - he hung up on the call then text me: "why did you tell me you sent her the SMS with demand for payment w/- bank details, here I am trying to help you to get her to start paying you back & you back out & land me in the shit! I'll make your life real easy & take me out of it, good luck & thanks for the chats!" I SMS' him back to calm down, sit & cool off... He came back "As I said Monday, there's too much he said / she said going on, I really don't know whom to believe!?" So I said we'll take some space & I'll sort this mess with The Bitch & contact him in a few weeks... He didn't reply...

He works as the manager at a storage place I storage somethings at, Tues. 28/7/15 he sent me an invoice for my storage which is due Tues. 11/8/15 (This is the first time I've ever had an invoice emailed - I'd usually pay it in person, but the storage unit was in credit by 2 Months & due again in August, so he may have just been doing formalities)

So how should I handle it!? I said I'd contact him in a few weeks... What should I do?

It's now Mon. 3/8/15 - I still haven't heard anything from him, but I did say to him I'd contact him in a few weeks (late Aug) once I got some current medical issues out of the way... (having Wisdom teeth out today Mon. 3 Aug)...

Any ideas folks?

 

[njcollegekid]

wait a week, then send him a text. you wont know what hes thinking without him telling you, so try not to overanalyze and assume too much, i know its probably tempting.

 

[Seasoned]

This seems really fucked to me. If you're serious about this guy (and even if you are not) you have to ask yourself why your so called friend is still in your life.

 

[Twinkie]

Seasoned, I've completely cut her out of my life! My Councilor, when I saw her yesterday, suggested the same!

I'm really not sure how to approach this guy that I have a lot of feelings for really... He once had me on Facebook then deleted his account & then I found he had it back up again, but w/- a new profile... But still wouldn't add me... It was difficult the first time! He said he opened a new account & only really just his family on it & his closest friends, any one else had his mobile no# & could text him if they needed him... He has ALOT of hang ups abt his ex's stalking him & seeing what his doing... He was wary adding me, as some ppl on my friends list (I should have a good clean out actually) were / are friends of his ex's! He wouldn't tell me who though...

Sometimes I wonder if his worth the effort, as it seems unless I contact him, I rarely hear from him, it had started to get better... But now I'm not sure it's worth it! I'm really not sure how to try reopen communication w/- him, seeing he said he wanted space due to this all blowing up no thanks to the meddling of this "former friend"...

 

[Georgiadude]

obviously we don't know what's going on in his head and where he's at with things. the feeling I get is that he's over the drama and doesn't want to deal with it any more. I can't say as I blame him really. you said you'd give him time so give it to him. purge the trouble maker from your life. there's something that sticks out to me, if he was having trouble knowing who to believe. why would he believe her over you? she's the outsider and you're dating him. he shouldn't have trouble believing you unless there's more to that part of the story. for now I'd give him the time you said you would and unload the witch. odds are she's still trying to talk to him and stir up trouble. about the only thing you can do is wait and see what he has to say.

Steven

 

[Twinkie]

After seeing my councillor on Mon. & having the wisdom teeth out later that day, I msg'd him last night...

The msg went thru as an iMsg, but right at the end, it went Msg Not Delivered (in red text) then turned green & said Text Msg... He hasn't responded & I feel he may have actually blocked my number...

As on my phone it's still showing text msg, it would normally say iMessage & delivered...

So I'm not sure what to do, part of me is thinking it is best to just move on, but then I feel in doing so, will mean this "former" friend of mine "The Meddling Bitch" will have won regardless... But if he wants nothing to do w/- me, there's nothing I can do abt that... I guess I just have to give him space & pursue other interests...

 

[TX-Beau]

Of course you know what to do, you just won't do it.

 

[Twinkie]

TX-Beau, I'm doing just that now! Not contacting him!

 

[KaraBulut]

...So I'm not sure what to do, part of me is thinking it is best to just move on...

That part of you is giving you sage advice.

 

[mcbrion]

I recently came out of a 5Yr Relationship March this year, it was realistically over April 2014 when My Ex & I, split the first time... Any way Jan. this year I was matched w/- a guy on Compatible Partners, communication started out great, but went dead after 3 weeks when he blocked communication after I took awhile to respond...

March this year I found him on Scruff & we got talking & eventually met in person... Things were alittle tricky, but we seemed to be getting on well, he eventually confessed he had feelings for me as I did him, he said we would just take it slow till I felt I was ready for more (his been single 3Yrs this Sept.) - he was with his last partner for 10Yrs, but he was cheated on badly! So has some understandable insecurities!

Everything was going fine till last Tues. 21/7/15, I was to take him out for dinner Sun.12/7/15, but he cancelled on me & seemed rather distant... I found out a now "former" friend of mine had been "meddling" in the background, & twisting things that were said to suit themselves!
This he confided in me Mon. 20/7/15 there was a lot of he said / she said going on, he wasn't sure whom to believe & she had been ringing him constantly harrassing him at work!

Things have gone sour betwn this "former" friend & I as she has defrauded me of $5000 for cancer treatment (which I now don't think she even has!) & is refusing to start paying instalments to pay it back, I have since found out she also tried to hit up the guy I've been seeing for $10'000, he automatically distanced himself from her & told me, I wish you had never introduced me to her! (He wasn't the only one wishing He'd never met her, so did I!)

Fast forward to Tues. 21/7/15, when everything went into meltdown, he said with this "former" friends meddling, he no longer wanted to be in a relationship w/- me as he couldn't cope w/- it being a constant 3Way relationship with he interfering when it should just be between he & I, I agreed she needed to "butt" out & leave it to us to grow, he said due to the stess of it all he needs some space...

Later that night after a 3way chat between the meddling bitch, he & I - he hung up on the call then text me: "why did you tell me you sent her the SMS with demand for payment w/- bank details, here I am trying to help you to get her to start paying you back & you back out & land me in the shit! I'll make your life real easy & take me out of it, good luck & thanks for the chats!" I SMS' him back to calm down, sit & cool off... He came back "As I said Monday, there's too much he said / she said going on, I really don't know whom to believe!?" So I said we'll take some space & I'll sort this mess with The Bitch & contact him in a few weeks... He didn't reply...

He works as the manager at a storage place I storage somethings at, Tues. 28/7/15 he sent me an invoice for my storage which is due Tues. 11/8/15 (This is the first time I've ever had an invoice emailed - I'd usually pay it in person, but the storage unit was in credit by 2 Months & due again in August, so he may have just been doing formalities)

So how should I handle it!? I said I'd contact him in a few weeks... What should I do?

It's now Mon. 3/8/15 - I still haven't heard anything from him, but I did say to him I'd contact him in a few weeks (late Aug) once I got some current medical issues out of the way... (having Wisdom teeth out today Mon. 3 Aug)...

Any ideas folks?

Frankly, No, it's not understandable that people who have been cheated on have insecurities. If someone is not over the last relationship completely, by moving into a new one while still having (unresolved) feelings about the old one, they're bringing the 'baggage' into the new relationship. This is THEIR issue to resolve, and not something to bring the completely innocent new person into. I see this on here a lot. If you have baggage from a bad relationship, you're not ready for a new one, and it's borne out by the whole 'trust' battle that's going on here. He's clearly not capable of trust at this stage, and how can you have a relationship if you (whoever "you" is) lack the ability to trust others? Being consistent with someone is not the same thing as having to earn their trust. I don't continue dating a guy if he has trust issues:that's for a therapist to guide them through. In case we all forgot, Tina Turner did the same thing for umpteen years (earning Ike's 'trust' - and then realized she was a fool to have put herself thru (unnecessary) hell. Take a page from that book, fellas.