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Where are the men my age?

L

LateNite85

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So I recently tried my hand at the online dating thing for the past few months and it didn't work out. So I'm here to rant/vent/ask you guys why it seems that I can only attract a certain type of man. I'm over the whole race thing now. I know how that works and it's fine. However, what's bothering me is the unwavering attention I get from the 40+ crowd. I've received countless messages from men in their 40s, 50s and 60s yet not so much as a second look from guys under 40. Even in public, the only men who show interest are the ones old enough to be my father. I'm pretty sure I don't give off that "I'm looking for a daddy" vibe.

On the other hand, guys my own age don't seem to be interested in me at all. I didn't think I was THAT ugly, lol. Maybe my small stature is to blame? Or maybe I care more about my career and education goals than a guy in his 20s should? I'm not trying to down older guys. I've met plenty of very attractive older men. I'd just like to get to know guys my own age for a change.
 
Try going out, Back in my twenties I wasn't home in front of the computer.
 
So how old are you? Maybe take the interest from the 40+ crowd as a compliment?
 
I also suggest...leave your computer. Go out. Meet guys.
 
There's nothing wrong with you.

Just get outside and actively look for them... they aren't going to come knocking on your door looking for you. They're out there somewhere; it's even easier to find guys your own age if you live in the city and go to places the interest you.

However, I will say I notice, despite the changing times and attitudes, that younger gay guys our age seem not quite sure how to interact with other gay guys or even how to make their move. A lot of young guys are still in the closet and are scared to death to do more than give you a couple of quick glances. This makes it seem like no guys your age are interested in you. There are guys interested in you, they just don't know how to show it due to fears, inexperience, etc...

Older gay men do seem more assertive and some even seem like they are looking for younger guys (not into that myself) and know how and when to reveal their interest in you. Some are a bit too revealing and come off as creepy but that's a whole 'nother thread.
 
Three votes for getting out the world and meeting people face-to-face...
 
I ffel the same way im 23 and for me to find someone my age is also impossibly they are all looking for hookups and the attention i get from 40+ is out of control i do not want an older guy i want someone my age. And going out does not help also becuase everyone is straight and the gay bars which we only have 1 is full of all older men. HELP!
 
billybob109 said:
I ffel the same way im 23 and for me to find someone my age is also impossibly they are all looking for hookups and the attention i get from 40+ is out of control i do not want an older guy i want someone my age. And going out does not help also becuase everyone is straight and the gay bars which we only have 1 is full of all older men. HELP!
Click to expand...

Boo hoo, boo hoo, so sad, so heartbreaking, I guess you'll never find anyone.

Come on, enough with the moaning. If you find excuses to fail you always will. It's your life, do something about it. It's that simple.

If you don't like where you live, make a plan and move. If you don't like the places you hang out, change. Do something about it, make your life better and maybe some guy will find you.
 
OK maybe that was a little blunt, but honestly, if you focus on what can't happen where does that leave you?

Einstein defined insanity as doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

So many of the problems that come through here have pretty much the same answer in the end. If you're unhappy with your situation, change it.

Is that easy? Sometimes yes, sometimes no, but complaining about one's situation and not changing anything goes right back up there to Einstein.

There are of course guys who like to live in all that angst, drama, and tragedy, so be it. But if you're not one of them, then start making your life better by focusing on where you want to be, and getting there.
 
I get a lot of criticism for having `easy sex` with older guys, but you know what?
Lots of young men prefer to play games over getting to serious business.

You do need to put yourself out there, but if you don´t find any nice guys your age, it´s because of the reasons I wrote above this sentence.
 
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