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Where do you find a guy?

Others have already touched on this, but I want to reinforce the point.

Searching for a boyfriend while you're still in the closet is not a good idea. Not that you're looking for an out guy anyways, but most out guys wouldn't want to date somebody in the closet. Any closeted guys in the same situation as you are going to be working through the same issues you are. You've got enough issues of your own before getting into a relationship with somebody with the same set. Sure, you might get lucky and happen to find another closet guy who clicks very well with you and ride off into the sunset together, but the chance of that happening is very, very low.

Social clubs would be a good idea if you were either out or at least comfortable with associating with other out gay men in public. You don't have to be properly out to join one of these groups or participate in their activities. Since it's a gay group, everybody will just assume you're out already anyways. If you're fine with that, it would be an excellent place to make friends.

However, the thing you would benefit most from right now would be to join a coming out support group. The office of student life or student health at your university probably has one. A local LGBT center also probably has one or can refer you to one somewhere else. Other closeted and recently out people will be in the group. It'll be confidential so you don't have to worry about being outed. You talk about your problems. They talk about theirs. It's the best shot for meeting other guys (and girls) in your situation for friends. Plus, you can work out your own personal issues with real people in real time instead of just online.
 
Jy_Star said:
You know Telstra, sometimes, you should just stick the sock in your mouth and chew, rather than spitting it out and talking, spewing fungus everywhere. .
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so fun is not allowed on hot topics.
and 3 sum is spewing fungus ?:badgrin:
 
Coming out is not an option at this point. I consider it my business right now and don't feel a need to announce it to the world.
 
arabbb said:
Coming out is not an option at this point. I consider it my business right now and don't feel a need to announce it to the world.
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Well, in that case, you are a bisexual, and can stick with just females.
 
Now, to the matter at hand (although I'd like to have other things on my hand right now...)...yes, internet is mostly for hookups...mostly being the operative word here. You could eventually find someone you could hang out with. I'm battling with the same issue exacty...I'm not out yet and I'd like to go to gay bars and stuff like that but I wouldn't like to go alone (I went to the bathhouse alone and it wasn't a good experience). Still haven't given up on trying to find someone I could hang out with through the internet. I have seen other gay guys on the internet that are also looking for friends and people to hang out with so...they're out there but it may take a while to find them. Don't give up!
Try searching on this site...www.meetup.com (I think that's the correct address)....maybe there are groups for gays. ;)
 
But I don't have any good pics of myself fully clothed

I'm looking for a friend but would be open to more if it was the right person.
 
arabbb said:
But I don't have any good pics of myself fully clothed

I'm looking for a friend but would be open to more if it was the right person.
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Be glad that's the case. Most people look better clothed than naked.
Anyway, try posting an add with a fully clothed pic 'cause that pic of you doesn't send a "I'm looking for a friend" message but rather "I'm looking for a fuck buddy" message..
 
arabbb said:
Coming out is not an option at this point. I consider it my business right now and don't feel a need to announce it to the world.
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And that's your right. I still stand by my above comments, especially about joining a coming out support group. You're under absolutely no obligation to come out by joining such a thing. It would just provide a safe, confidential forum for you to talk about these issues and meet other people in a similar situation.
 
The crazy part about not being out is I'm interested in doing porn too so that makes it even harder. So then if it's discovered it would be two shockers at once to anyone who knows me.

Hmmmm... but for the record I have came out to a few people, though I'm not acquainted with any of them anymore.
 
I'm still trying to get my brain wrapped around that last statement.

You want to have sex with other people (guys? girls? both? the details don't really matter) for public viewing, but are too afraid of people finding out that you're gay? The two issues are fairly orthogonal, but I know what my family and the families of most of my friends would have a bigger problem with.
 
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