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Where do you find guys?

Gym, Work, Clubs, Sporting.

Socially focused activities!

I totally agree with each except for work! The guys at the gym are usually focused and friendly. If you see them at the gym on a regular schedule I would assume that they are dedicated so maybe a potential for a long term relationship. I meet a lot of guys at clubs but I'm leery about them at first -- I'd rather meet them out somewhere else for a date to get to know them. If they always want to end up back at the club then I see a red flag. They're pobably like a lot of the gay guys here and are just looking for the next best thing. Sporting events and team practice is also an excellent place to meet guys for the same reason the gym is: they have an interest other than bars:) In my expereince the worst place to meet someone is at work because it can create an awkward experience if the relationship does not work out or if a reporting relationship changes and one becomes the boss/manager of the other.

Good luck. Don't keep looking. You'll be surprised how quickly you find him when you're not searching.
 
A good breakfast place, work, a mainline church, and of course the gym. Someone need someone to spot weights for them, man up and do not be afraid to talk the talk about who you are and who you would like to meet. Life is moving right along. Good luck.

My partner saw me, and thought I might be available after a difficult divorce. He invited me to dinner, and it is already as real as it gets now twenty-six years later.
Shep+
 
All of the above suggestions are great! I would add parks, libraries, galleries, and concerts. However, if you aren't out it's going to be difficult for you to find someone and will probably make the relationship much harder. I would work on coming out more than I would worry about finding someone.
 
I don't understand this question because there are SO many ways to meet guys. I know its easier when you are younger because you are still in school and involved in so many activities, but there are bars/clubs, gyms and many internet sites that I have never heard of. And all those guys are trying to meet guys.

What it really sounds like is that the OP and others who complain about not meeting guys are just not happy with who they are meeting. The OP talks about straight guys. That is a recipe for failure. And if you're a 6 looking for a 9 then you should expect to have a long search.
 
School (uni) many places in school, like library, class, lab...

and i guess your 2nd question "how to filter out all the 'bad' guys?" it's not easy from experience; i think i probably only had relations/friendship with 3 non-DB gay men in my life, but i am young. also, it takes work. most of the time in life things you want don't appear in your face, another hard-learned lesson i had to go through. and that work is going to be annoying, weird, sometimes fun, and then rewarding.
 
You *do* realize that all the good ones are a lot like you ... wondering where the good guys are, looking around at the bar at the cheap hookups and leaving early, reading good books instead of getting blown at truck stops, etc. :D
 
It's going to be a lot harder until you come out.

If you're at a social event with your friends, and you see a guy you might be interested and are certain he's gay, how are you going to act on it if in the back of your mind your closetedness is holding you back?

Half of finding other guys is making yourself available. If you're waiting for a prince to come and sweep you off your feet he never will until you come out and let everyone know who you are.
 
I don't understand this question because there are SO many ways to meet guys. I know its easier when you are younger because you are still in school and involved in so many activities, but there are bars/clubs, gyms and many internet sites that I have never heard of. And all those guys are trying to meet guys.

What it really sounds like is that the OP and others who complain about not meeting guys are just not happy with who they are meeting. The OP talks about straight guys. That is a recipe for failure. And if you're a 6 looking for a 9 then you should expect to have a long search.

Nicely said!
 
You *do* realize that all the good ones are a lot like you ... wondering where the good guys are, looking around at the bar at the cheap hookups and leaving early, reading good books instead of getting blown at truck stops, etc. :D

Well put and something to keep in mind.

If you want to meet good guys who are relationship material go where they would go. Basically any place that encourages being healthy is a good place to start. I'm going to add dog parks, you'll get to chatting with someone after a few minutes of being there or going on a regular basis.

Just be yourself and don't give off any negative vibes and you'll find you'll attract a lot of good guys that way. Be patient, they're coming.;)
 
You make friends. You go out and do day activities. Ingratiate yourself into a social circle and dance the dance. If you can pull a hookup you can pull a boyfriend.
 
When I was going to move to America, I joined a southern California Yahoo group dedicated to gay motorcycle riders.

By the time I'd moved here to LA, I had two bikers meet me at the airport and then they threw a "welcome to Los Angeles" dinner for me that 15 people came to.

Those men became my best friends. I've seen a lot of guys join up and start to ride with us, meet another guy in the group and pair off.. We've had a few marriages, a bunch of dating and yes... even some casual hooking up if that's what you're looking for.

What works about this is that you're meeting men who share your interests in a non-alcohol-fueled or sexually-charged atmosphere like a bar. You're doing what you'd do anyway.

The guys are just gay.. and also looking to meet other gay men to hang out with, make friends with and do what they do.
 
After coming out, I got a ton of "I have the perfect guy for you to meet" from people in my life.

It really does help if you come out. I was actually surprised how many other gay people my friends knew that I was totally unaware of. Some of my straight guy friends that I originally thought would have a problem with it have introduced me to other gay guys they knew. :lol:
 
coming out would help and you'll feel like a younger new man

then go about your life as you normally would do,but that doesn't mean to stay home and watch the tv. Put yourself out there where guys can see their mr. right

when you least expect it your Mr Right will show up, meanwhile have fun




it work'd for me,why not you
 
Don't people bother to make friends any more? I was introduced to my guy by mutual friends.

Also, there is nothing quite so pathetic as this concept of "dating out of your league." There are no leagues. There are only people with self esteem and without. Anyone can find you attractive if you have it. And nothing is quite such a turn off as looking for someone else's approval.
 
I received a treasure map when I came out. it was dotted with many little x's I just assumed everyone got one as part of their "You're Gay" package.
 
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