Where to start.............?

[TX-Beau]

Why do you have to make excuses? I don't follow. Do you live on campus? It's not unusual to spend lots of time with friends.

Closet case paranoia perhaps - everyone who sees them will automatically know....

 

[TX-Beau]

Well firstly I have just recently accepted the fact that I am Bi-sexual I have no problem with gay people but was still disliking myself being Bi. However I met a guy a few month back who I got an really well with, and about a month ago we started dating, I am completely besotted by him, we get on so well. We can lie with each other for our watching TV and stuff and it never feels awkward, I guess what I am trying to say is that it feels right.........which is good, he really likes me too, I am at uni still and he works, every morning when I wake up there is a text waiting for me which always makes me smile

Unfortunately there is one problem with all this, last week he wouldn't talk to me for three days, because he was upset that we never get to see each other that often as I am not out it's hard for me to just keep making excuses to go out to his place. I want to come out so that we can spend lots of time together but am scared to be honest, I feel really guilty about not having done so already, and we always end up arguing about how much we see each other, but he is still truly fantastic

What shall I do? I really like him and he really likes me, I want to be able to stay at his place!! Please HELP!!!!

1337bliss

1. Hiding your relationship most likely feels to him like you're hiding him.

2. Relationships half in the closet half out fail.

3. What do you care more about, him or what other people think?

4. If you're at the point where you're comfortable dating a guy - it's time to come out. You'll lose him if you don't.

5. You know what to do, you just haven't done it. No one wants to feel like their partner is so ashamed of them and their relationship that both must be hidden in the closet.

 

[TX-Beau]

How old are you?

 

[backpacker]

There is more than one way to come out. Some people go about telling people that they are gay or bi, while others go about living their life without hiding anything and let people figure it out on there own.

Why make excuses? Just say your are going to hang out with X. If they question why you are spending so much time with him, say that you are dating. By that point you are only confirming what they already suspect.

Going to a coffee shop once isn't exactly being comfortable out in public. In fact, I would say it indicates that you aren't comfortable being seen with him. I'm sure that probably does bother him. Stop hiding and just live your life.

 

[KaraBulut]

Just. Do. It.

 

[TX-Beau]

I am 18!

Why do you ask?

Because being 18, I'll cut you a lot more slack. If you were 35, yeah, that's really different. In terms of being out.

Has to be asked, are you really Bi, or are you gay and not comfortable with that just yet. I don't expect you to post a response, just figure it out.

Practical first. You live at home right, are you going to college, and if so who's paying? Are your parents extremely conservative or really likely - as in fundamentalist Christians - to react very badly? If your answer is yes, they will toss you to the curb for being gay, and they're paying for your school, zip it and get an education, then come out to them when you don't need them anymore. Hopefully they aren't those kind of people though.

Regarding your BF. Well, you have to decide if keeping him is worth taking the risk of coming out. It's not fair to ask him to commit to you when you can't do the same for him. You don't have to come out all at once. Take baby steps if you must, tell that one friend now that you're dating him, go on an actual date, I suspect that if he likes you like you say he does he'll stick around so long as you're making progress.

 

[TX-Beau]

Well firstly I have just recently accepted the fact that I am Bi-sexual I have no problem with gay people but was still disliking myself being Bi.

...and I am not ashamed of him, we have been out in public before we met in a coffee shop...

I wanted to pull these two things out by themselves. I understand that you don’t feel ashamed of him, but by hiding your relationship, you’re screaming that you’re ashamed of it, and I think you’ll understand that from the other side, there’s only a tiny little jump from seeing you ashamed of your relationship, to him feeling you’re ashamed of him.

Either cut him free until you’ve worked out your issues, or show him you’re committed enough to take the necessary action.

 

[rareboy]

Either cut him free until you’ve worked out your issues, or show him you’re committed enough to take the necessary action.

What he said.